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Old 03-08-2016, 03:28 PM
 
389 posts, read 289,653 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Regardless, this is a great opener to discussions about responsible sexual behavior, relationships, love vs lust and all manner of important conversations about sexuality.
Exactly! Out of the blue this weekend, my 10 yo said something about porn as we were driving somewhere. She giggled when she said it. It opened up a good conversation about what it is, and what she and her 14 yo sister know about it. We also talked about the negative side of porn. (ie: It can give kids the idea that the "relationships" in porn movies are what real life relationships are like, and what real life sex should be like, as well as the violence or degrading of women that is present in many porn movies.) It wasn't a "Porn is the devils work and never watch it!" kind of talk, because I know that's not realistic or helpful. However, I think kids should know the downsides to porn and not just all the "fun" stuff their friends tell them about.

The kids were a little reluctant to talk about, and honestly I was a little out of my comfort zone, but I'm glad we had the conversation.

As for the privacy thing... I have mixed feelings about it. When we gave my oldest daughter her first Smart Phone, we told her we would have all pass words and complete access to her internet, and we would check as we felt necessary. I don't check on a regular bases, but have checked, and a couple of times it has opened up some heavy conversations. I don't like having to check though. She has told me that one of her friends doesn't put anything in texts or online, because she knows her parents check her phone regularly. My daughter has said she is a bit of a wild child, and she just finds different ways to participate, w/o her parents knowing/seeing what she is doing. I know her parents well and I know they think she is completely innocent. So not sure how well their phone checking is working for them.

Parenting a teen is a challenge no matter what decade it happens, but the internet has made it even more difficult.
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Old 03-08-2016, 03:45 PM
 
Location: the Permian Basin
4,188 posts, read 3,050,924 times
Reputation: 5885
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Its a FACT that human sexuality is a spectrum

People fall into one of thre categories: heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. There is no spectrum, no gray areas in between those categories.
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Old 03-08-2016, 04:17 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,850 posts, read 897,591 times
Reputation: 5409
If your best friend goes out with you every night and gets drunk, they are most likely an alcoholic.
If your best friend goes out with you every night and has a drink or two - they are most likely NOT an alcoholic.
If your best friend has Playboy delivered to his house every month, that doesn't make him a sex fiend.
If they have every Larry Flint issue on the wall as a collector set, they most likely have an issue.


He's young. He gets an erection if the wind changes direction. While walking to class he has to hold his books in front of him so as to not show his excitement. As others have said, he's young, and it's a bunch of new things he's curious about.
I'm betting that someday you'll look back on this and just be happy things turned out the way they did... because you love him and he knows it.
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Old 03-08-2016, 05:08 PM
 
Location: Yucaipa, California
9,715 posts, read 18,336,358 times
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Your 13 year old son is just curious. I am sure 13 yr old girls look at gay porn as well. It will pass.
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Old 03-08-2016, 05:58 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
4,643 posts, read 2,501,453 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
For immature adults, I'm sure it is. But for rational and mature adults is more of an occasional outlet and a possible relationship enhancement. Porn has been around since man started drawing on walls - it's just a lot more realistic these days.
Realistic..... porn? LOL, no, I don't think so.

Graphic drawing is not necessarily pornographic, whether on walls, chalkboards, whiteboards, or paper. The human form, and in the case of the man, neither flaccid nor erect depictions of the penis are pornographic.
Much of this type of drawing is legitimately educational.

As to your first sentence, that rational and mature adults might enhance their relationship by viewing porn, I do not agree. As ever-more-shocking porn is depicted on the Internet and available for all to see, it can and is taken by some to be "normal", even truly disgusting and bullying acts.

That which is natural and sexy has been replaced by filth and fake 5-second "orgasms". People (usually women-whores) are penetrated and moan with fake ecstacy before there has even been the slightest chance for them to be even slightly aroused. More of the acts depicted are shocking than sexy, and I think most mature men and women would agree, especially those of us who were fortunate enough to be introduced to sex more slowly and learned to delight in each new stage as it unfolded.
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Old 03-08-2016, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Sunrise
10,869 posts, read 14,181,352 times
Reputation: 9010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowpoke_TX View Post
People fall into one of thre categories: heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. There is no spectrum, no gray areas in between those categories.
100% false. Furthermore, attraction can be fluid over a person's life.


I think most people would do well to consider the feelings of OP's son -- instead of trying to make this thread another preach-fest.
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Old 03-08-2016, 06:53 PM
 
3,463 posts, read 4,512,596 times
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I always went through my Sons stuff and Im glad I did. I was shocked a few times for sure, but more importantly, I thwarted a few things that could have had a very bad outcome for him. As far as porn goes, I feel the current availability of it, and the nature of it is taking natural curiosity to an unhealthy extreme. I think it can be a hinderance to natural, healthy psychological development of a child.
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Old 03-08-2016, 07:12 PM
 
1,250 posts, read 1,144,714 times
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If he's jacking it to furry porn you should keep an eye on your pets. Anime/cartoon porn is a gateway to furry porn and most people that masturbate to furry porn sexually abuse animals.
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Old 03-08-2016, 07:41 PM
 
Location: the Permian Basin
4,188 posts, read 3,050,924 times
Reputation: 5885
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScoopLV View Post
100% false.
100% true.
Those who are attracted to people of their same sex are homosexual.
Those who are attracted to people of the opposite sex are heterosexual.
Those who are attracted to people of both sexes are bisexual.
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Old 03-08-2016, 08:10 PM
 
72 posts, read 50,818 times
Reputation: 55
Sometimes teens truly do not know. Society is telling them and "guiding" them to be straight from a very young age so if they even feel the slightest bit of sexual curiosity about the same sex, they often just suppress it, deny it, keep it a huge secret, or say they're "curious". It could possibly be that your child is curious because many of my friends have admitted to being curious.
On the other hand, your child could be gay because my brother admitted to denying his sexuality until the age of 18! He kept telling himself that he was straight despite being interested in men. Then, he kept telling himself that he's bi for years until he eventually just cut the act and admitted to himself that he's gay.
I assume it's very hard to admit this fact even to yourself because of how strict and close minded we are about sexuality.
Believe it or not, society tells us to do a lot of things without us realizing it. My brother refrained from buying his dream car because it was a "chick car", my boyfriend refuses to let me groom his eyebrows because it's "gay" or "girly", etc.

Whatever your child is, just realize that he's not doing it on purpose. If he's gay, he's just gay and you can't change it. If he's bi, you can't change that either. If he's straight, then you still can't change that.

Let him come to terms with himself and it will all be okay. It may take years but you have to let him figure it out on his own while giving him a loving, accepting home. I advise you to just give him a welcoming environment and refrain from telling his father. As a woman myself, I feel like we tend to be more empathetic of people in general when compared to men for some reason. I feel like it's an "estrogen" thing lol
Telling his father might cause turmoil and it may result in your son backtracking on coming to terms with himself which is no good.

Good luck and I hope all works out well.
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