U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-07-2016, 04:28 PM
 
8,144 posts, read 6,002,296 times
Reputation: 10554

Advertisements

I once watched some ladies at a baseball game ask a guy in their row to take their picture.. This is back in the day when you actually had film. pre-digital. Mid to late 80's.

The guy was wearing sweatpants. He stood up while they were walking down to the rail by the field, pulled the waistband of his pants out, stuck the camera down and snapped a picture.

Then took the ladies' photo several times once they were in position.

Needless to say.. There was a surprise waiting for them when they had that roll of film developed.

At the moment.. You can't prove that he was looking at it. Yes, it was on his phone.. But, that picture was on that lady's camera..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-07-2016, 04:29 PM
 
1,039 posts, read 606,413 times
Reputation: 1730
Is it here where I point out that looking at porn DOES NOT EQUAL being stolen by a predator?


I don't know how old I was when I first looked at porn. Single digits no doubt (I had older brothers).


Its normal and healthy and unfortunately EVERYWHERE


I had The Talk with my kids many many times to the point it was a family joke and they called it Pron.


don't worry mum we're not looking at Pron they'd holler


I TRUSTED them. I warned them, I talked to them, we talked about predators and safety and guidelines and privacy and Not Clicking On Certain things because they are Illegal. This is part of raising a child not something you foist on them in REACTION.


My take would be to tell my son in no uncertain terms that viewing porn in any way is illegal at his age and he would be guilty of Child Porn himself if he broadcasts any. I would be extremely earnest about this and possibly try to get some Police information on the subject. There is a lot of stuff out there attempting to educate kids.


I was exposed to porn - I never, ever sought it out. It just doesn't interest me, still doesn't really.


It had no long term lasting effects, is what I'm saying. None at all that I can see. Its natural to be Curious and if hes gay hes probably got No One To Talk To, he cant talk to you because you are Freaking Out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2016, 04:31 PM
 
Location: NYC, CHI, UK
457 posts, read 395,281 times
Reputation: 728
I agree with the others that he's only 13 and still establishing his identity. Also, that 13 is too young for porn.

Is it also possible that maybe he went searching because he overheard other kids at school discussing these sites, so curiosity got the better of him?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2016, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Houston
20,984 posts, read 10,622,648 times
Reputation: 8211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gramercy View Post
I agree with the others that he's only 13 and still establishing his identity. Also, that 13 is too young for porn.

Is it also possible that maybe he went searching because he overheard other kids at school discussing these sites, so curiosity got the better of him?
He could be a straight female in a man's body.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2016, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Rome, Georgia
2,657 posts, read 3,199,356 times
Reputation: 1837
You need to have a serious talk regarding the content and purpose of pornographic material. Let him know that there are much better places to look if he has some questions, and maybe even look some up first. Pornography is a horrible way to learn about sexuality.

That said, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, or press him on whether or not he is gay. 13 is very young, and not developed enough in most cases to make that assessment.

Lastly, if you have had the talk about the false expectations of pornography, stay out of the poor kid's browser history from now on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2016, 05:21 PM
 
5,076 posts, read 6,227,497 times
Reputation: 7825
I agree with the others. It is not uncommon for a 13 year old to be curious or not sure. Maybe he's gay, maybe he's straight, maybe he's bi - too early to tell.

But looking at any porn is not cool at this age, IMO. Why on Earth don't you have any filtering software installed on his phone?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2016, 05:27 PM
 
6,805 posts, read 3,275,204 times
Reputation: 8481
Kids don't have the frontal lobe development that enables them to make rational, informed decisions. Parents have to act as their frontal lobe. Parents definitely need To be checking their children's browsing history.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2016, 05:29 PM
 
1,931 posts, read 1,159,413 times
Reputation: 9146
I have two teenage sons.

I understand the "my little boy!" freak out kinda thing that happens the first time you realize your kids are sexual beings, but really, being curious and checking out porn is perfectly normal at that age. They're curious, the hormones are raging.

It's your job not to freak out and start banning things and calling counselors (what? that suggestion blew my mind... counselor for normal sexual development? makes no sense) and just be what I believe a parent is supposed to be: a guide. Not a guide to his sexuality. Good grief, he can figure that out eventually on his own.

By all means put parental controls on the phone (should have been done when he got it) but absolutely talk about it or, if you're too embarrassed or HE is too embarrassed, write him a letter and stick it in his room. Not necessarily about the "I would love you even if you were gay!" thing, but about porn and how it isn't real and how it should not become his main hobby.

It is normal for people of all sexual proclivities to be curious about 'how the other half lives,' so to speak. Not everyone does it, but doing it doesn't mean you should go buy a rainbow flag.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2016, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Out West
20,596 posts, read 15,424,228 times
Reputation: 24157
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
Is it here where I point out that looking at porn DOES NOT EQUAL being stolen by a predator?


....
Of course it doesn't equal being taken by an online predator, I can't believe that I have to spell this out for you. You told her that she shouldn't be looking.

MY POINT WAS, when a child has access to the internet, there is NO PRIVACY when you have a world of disgusting pukes who WILL take advantage of them if given the chance. My response to you was not about porn, it was about NO PRIVACY on the internet AT ALL if you're a child. The parents job is indeed to "snoop" in to what their kid is doing online.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2016, 05:39 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
Reputation: 31039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
Of course it doesn't equal being taken by an online predator, I can't believe that I have to spell this out for you. You told her that she shouldn't be looking.

MY POINT WAS, when a child has access to the internet, there is NO PRIVACY when you have a world of disgusting pukes who WILL take advantage of them if given the chance. My response to you was not about porn, it was about NO PRIVACY on the internet AT ALL if you're a child. The parents job is indeed to "snoop" in to what their kid is doing online.
Yes this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top