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Agreed. He's 13 years old, with surging hormones and a whole new world (sexuality) opening up to him. Give him time to establish his sexual identity.
THIS!
Not only will porn cause him to have unrealistic expectations of sexual relationships, it will also cause him to have a warped idea of people's bodies - and of his own.
Sorry. It is normal for boys that age to look at porn.
I think curiosity is normal. Don't read too much into it.
Don't force him into a decision. Just because his body is reacting does not mean he's into what he sees. Heck at his age, seeing two dogs go at it would probably arouse him. Poor kiddo.
I'm a real advocate of keeping your thoughts pure - and it's possible. Just not probable for boys his age. One thing's for sure. Porn is not healthy. I would discourage the heck out of that.
Is it grindr or scruff that he's looking at? Those are apps for guys to meet other guys. He shouldn't be meeting guys on apps at that age: legal issues. If it's not that kind of site, there's not as much to freak out about. Sounds as you're handling it very well.
have you ever thought of Respecting Your Sons Privacy?
#seenoevil
Yes!!! But last year, I went through an issue when he was talking to random people on line!! & texting strangers! So at that time I started to go through his phone! So yes being a mom, don't this give me a right? Yes I will stop once he is a little order. But for now. No!
You have every right to know who he's talking to and what he's using his phone to look up online.
Since when do kids have the right to their own cell phone let alone privacy to look up gay anime porn at will with the device?
That's just filling his head with a bunch of garbage, and yes who knows what creepers he is talking to.
The kid is 13 and there are PLENTY of sick people in this world.
My advice is protect your kid from seeing this garbage as much as possible. When he's 18 he and on his own he can view anything he'd like as an adult on his own IMO. Don't shame the kid, just re-direct to another direction.
Don't bring it up again. When I was 13 we had magazines hidden in a field ....like a porn lending library. It's quite normal at that age. Like the other post said, I would, however, definitely make sure he isn't using sites like Tinder or Grindr to meet people. He's not of legal age for those things.
Sorry. It is normal for boys that age to look at porn.
It's normal, but it could cause problems if he's browsing through tons and tons of internet porn with no sorts of limits. It's not a stash of Playboys under the bed - it's basically unlimited porn. Fine for an adult that understands what's healthy (and some don't), but sketchy with a 13-year-old boy. If he's contacting people online, he could get hurt. If he strays onto a site with photos of underaged individuals (which he may gravitate to since he is a minor himself), he could end up being labeled a sexual predator. His parents need to monitor.
And to the people saying it's too soon for a therapist, if Dad is homophobic (which the OP has not answered) it could be very necessary to have a rational adult to discuss his sexuality with who isn't his mom. My parents thought I was possibly a lesbian, and my mother (who isn't even that homophobic) came out with some choice comments that threw me for a loop when I was a kid. Heck, I wondered if I was a lesbian - and some of the stuff that came out of my mother's mouth really didn't help. If I had been gay, who knows how it would have made me feel? My parents were very set on accepting whatever my sexuality was but my mother still uttered some really ignorant stuff.
Its obviously a reflection of his upbringing. He is gay due to family or friends...
Send him to counseling for behavioral modification.. J/K
Let it go, let him make his own life decisions. He will deal with it. If you support it, fine, but let the kid grow up for a while. It may be just a phase too.
He should not be allowed to privately cruise the net via phone or computer at his age! Tolerance is not neglecting parental guidance.
There are two causes you should check out: Was he possibly molested: i.e. babysitter, family friend, relative, cleric, teacher, even male friend at i.e. sleep overs, boy scout camp? Molestation could have been done by male or female but results in sexual identity problems.
The other one is over exposure to internet porn. When you have gone through all the possible perversions amongst hetero sexual couples, men ( and boys) move on the bestiality, transsexuals and finally gay porn. Overexposure is the biggest killer of a porn genre or porn star. So the web masters have to follow the ever more demanding searches of pubescent boys and viagra popping males. Gay and transsexual porn is pushed on straight porn searchers in finessed ways, because it is cheap to produce, and ever more perversions open up in that world once you cross this barrier. Most likely this is what happened to your son. He is whacking to all kinds of stuff on his cell since years and now worries that his exposure to dabbling in gay porn would brand him being gay. You might as well found porn videos involving horses and pigs and not felt much better either.
Is he accepted in school? Does he have a good group of male friends? Does he have things going for him that girls find attractive? Can he articulate himself and be funny? 13 is a horrible, terrible age for boys while girls and jocks already flying high. A pudgy, boring, glasses wearing boy with acne can easily mistake the need for attention by male peers as sexual attraction--especially under the influence of 'politically correct' teachers. The need to counter steer this as a parent is important, especially when you want to see grandkids at one point.
Much of our human sexuality is shaped and taught. Parents are essential to protect the young child from sexual abuse, and the teenager needs them as guidance counselors. In your case daddy has to step up to the plate to give the boy some manly pride in himself. A man especially has to learn to control his instincts to stay safe, healthy, not let his balls control his destiny. You as mommy has to step back from him physically now that he is a teen--he has to learn to yearn for femininity, touch, tenderness, allure, mystique. Male friends stand for fun, camraderie, adventures and physical activity. That doesn't mean he can't go camping with a girl and have fun, but you get my drift.
The time to spend in these 'odd' teenage years is planning a job career and gaining knowledge and skills. Not waste it on gaming but getting a head start in personality, education, bonding, shaping opinions, views with like minded peers. The awkward time will pass quick and productive and all will be well.
Parenting. Should be between parents, and or extended family. Do you know anyone this forum? Their intentions?
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