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Old 03-16-2016, 08:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeurich View Post
Seriously ??? is that how you look at people who has kids?
In my experience, there are at least as many "selfish" reasons to HAVE kids as not to have them.
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Old 03-16-2016, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Greater LA area
15,745 posts, read 11,757,357 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Oh, brother! Let me rephrase that? Intelligent, independent, self-sufficient people don't NEED children to fulfill them. Emotional, weak, needy people can't manage without them and others to prop them up.


That is true for some. Just watch some prison shows - all of the inmates have multiple kids. Low life people always have kids. Why? Because they are lost and damaged and want something that loves them unconditionally without judging their bad choices in life. Same with pets. Most of the lowlifes have pets.






I think it is genetic. Some women have the mothergene, some don't. I feel the same if I look at babies or at puppies. They are both cute but I would rather take the puppy home.
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Old 03-16-2016, 08:37 AM
 
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If you're on public assistance, you also get "paid" by the government to have more kids... Just sayin'!


You'll also still hear people say that they don't want to die alone, need someone to take care of them in their old age, etc. Of course, increasingly that doesn't work out as planned. Then there are the women who don't want to work outside the home (it helps to have kids so you can be a SAHM, even long after the kids are in school all day), those who want a "mini-me" to accessorize, dads who want sons to fulfill their own unfulfilled dreams, people who are so unimaginative that they just do what's expected, etc.


I could go on...
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Old 03-16-2016, 09:15 AM
 
3,361 posts, read 2,498,100 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeurich View Post
"cold soul " does not like kids will give millions of reasons not to have kids.
"warm soul" like kids and wanting to have more.
Wow Judgemental much? People who do not have kids are "cold" are they? And where did you get the idea that people who do not want to have them = people who do not _like_ them? They are not the same thing and you can not assume one from the other.

And no not all people who have kids - want kids - or want more kids - are "warm" people either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeurich View Post
Some people enjoy being parents, some enjoy being alone and die alone.
Quite the opposite extreme there. Who says people with no kids "die alone"? Where did you pull that one from?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeurich View Post
Seriously ??? is that how you look at people who has kids?
He never said that was how he looks at people who have kids. He was not judging people who have kids. He was judging people who have kids to fill a hole - or to seek fulfilment or fulfil a need - rather than those who have them because it is genuinely what they want to do.
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Old 03-16-2016, 09:20 AM
 
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"He never said that was how he looks at people who have kids. He was not judging people who have kids. He was judging people who have kids to fill a hole - or to seek fulfilment or fulfil a need - rather than those who have them because it is genuinely what they want to do."


I'm a she (shockingly, I know) but even to say "because they want to have kids" isn't enough without looking at WHY they want them. To check off a box on the life list? Because your parents are nagging for grandchildren? Because all of your friends are having babies?


"The unexamined life is not worth living"... Or duplicating!
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Old 03-16-2016, 09:37 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,220,684 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Oh, brother! Let me rephrase that? Intelligent, independent, self-sufficient people don't NEED children to fulfill them. Emotional, weak, needy people can't manage without them and others to prop them up.
You really don't know many parents do you? Raising kids makes you tougher than nails.
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Old 03-16-2016, 09:38 AM
 
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We're not talking about raising them; we're talking about having them (and reasons to or not to). But for the record, I know a lot of parents who are as weak at kittens when it comes to discipline... Hence all the bratty, irresponsible kids we see today that make me glad I don't have any!
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Old 03-16-2016, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tahirthegreat View Post
Too much work for little reward in my opinion.
Well said . Not to mention children are an incredible financial burden.
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Old 03-16-2016, 09:55 AM
 
237 posts, read 147,689 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fletchman View Post
I agree with ^. I think a good deal of it may come down to how you were raised and whether you had nuturing parents.

My parents were not very attentive and were not what I would consider nuturing. They were too consumed by their own problems.

I look at cousins and friends raised by nurturing parents and nearly all of them seem to be inclined to become parents themselves.
I had wonderful parents who were very nurturing, but that didn't make me want to have kids. I was the youngest, and my siblings were quite a bit older, so our household was very calm and orderly. I liked it that way. When I visited friends who had younger siblings, I found the atmosphere to be loud, messy, and chaotic.
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Old 03-16-2016, 09:57 AM
 
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This. My parents were awesome, too! For the record...
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