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Old 03-21-2016, 08:40 AM
 
Location: United States
359 posts, read 207,333 times
Reputation: 198

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Also explain to them why they need to brush there teeth and hair and what can happen if they don't etc.
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Old 03-21-2016, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,529 posts, read 16,069,841 times
Reputation: 39022
Quote:
Originally Posted by goochgirl View Post
Lol, I do get that. I have said that, don't get me wrong its not always like that with the kids not listening they do sometimes an other times they give me trouble. My youngest will help me around the house with something I am doing but won't clean his room, which I'm just happy he will help me. But my daughter just has been doing total opposite of wht shes told lately. I think she's going through things an i don't know. see i end up making exscuses for them an i realize that but i know they're good kids, its my fault for letting them all get away with it.
YES he should just do that but won't unless they say the're hungry to him i on other hand just make meals b/c its what i know i have to do. he says he wants to wait until they ask b/c he doesn't want to cook an them try to waste b/c their not hungry. plus i think its his exscuse to not have to cook.
What if you aren't hungry one day, and you "forget" to make a meal until your BF says that he is hungry? What would he do? Would he offer to make the meal for all of you or just do it without being asked? Or would he go to McDonalds when he gets hungry leaving the rest of his family to starve?

What if you are sick in bed? Would your BF just feed himself or would he make food for everyone?

You are writing this thread like it is a problem with your children, but the more that you give details it sounds more like it is a problem with your lazy, inconsiderate, demanding, insensitive, mean & cruel (after all you just lost your father & he treating it like it was not something upsetting to you & his kids) BF.

Think about that.
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Old 03-21-2016, 01:38 PM
 
56 posts, read 36,497 times
Reputation: 35
I'm sorry for your loss, and all you're going through.

I used to have a lot of trouble getting my kids (7 and 5) out to school in the mornings on time for the bus. My husband and I decided to try marbles (some people use stickers) to motivate them. Each time they do the following without us telling them 1. Brush their teeth 2. Brush hair (for my daughter) 3. Put on shoes 4. Clean bathroom counter they would get a marble. They can also earn extra marbles if they sit and eat their meal properly. Each marble is worth 25 cents or they can "buy" tickets like Cuddle all night or Tablet for one hour.

So far my kids have been motivated to earn them and we usually only payout about $5/week. They don't get paid to clean their room or other chores but maybe you can try that out.
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Old 03-21-2016, 09:41 PM
 
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 134,085 times
Reputation: 209
Yea that was the problem im too nice or w/e sometimes an ill put up with asking them to clean their room them not me asking again them not then me pretty much do it for them then maybe take away their tablets or tv for not listening but give it back later b/c i feel bad or something where their dad tells them once if they don't he will take away w/e an not give back. I have been doing better an so have kids.
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Old 03-21-2016, 09:45 PM
 
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 134,085 times
Reputation: 209
The teeth an hair thing makes me so mad. We remind them everyday But usually unless i stand right there they dont do it on their own. We have even tried to scare them an say they will lose all their teeth b/c they will all rot an you know tell them all the scary stuff. my daughter must be sick of all the lectures an puishing b/c she did it on her own today, but hope it lasts I always end up brushing her hair an pulling it up, but if I don't like on weekend she will go all day w/o doin it an it upsets me b/c i bought her detangling spray for knots, a new hairbrush new toothpaste an brushes for both. Hope they do it tomorrow on their own with just one reminder.
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Old 03-21-2016, 09:51 PM
 
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 134,085 times
Reputation: 209
The marble idea would probably work they love stuff like that, i just hope they both end up doing it b/c i hate to see one get something an the other not. It makes me feel bad. Far as the meals, I usually don't eat until late when everythings calm, so i just cook when i think they maybe hungry. I used to eat with them but it ends up where mines cold b/c im spending time getting theres getting condiments making sure they don't try to hide the food somewhere if they dont want it lol or getting seconds by the time i serve everyone someone usually needs something before i start or w/e so i just eat late now lol I caught my son trying to hide food he didnt want in the trash can in kitchen or under table lol so
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Old 03-21-2016, 10:59 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,529 posts, read 16,069,841 times
Reputation: 39022
Quote:
Originally Posted by goochgirl View Post
The teeth an hair thing makes me so mad. We remind them everyday But usually unless i stand right there they dont do it on their own. We have even tried to scare them an say they will lose all their teeth b/c they will all rot an you know tell them all the scary stuff. my daughter must be sick of all the lectures an puishing b/c she did it on her own today, but hope it lasts I always end up brushing her hair an pulling it up, but if I don't like on weekend she will go all day w/o doin it an it upsets me b/c i bought her detangling spray for knots, a new hairbrush new toothpaste an brushes for both. Hope they do it tomorrow on their own with just one reminder.

Have you considered that if your daughter has very long hair or very curly hair it may be difficult for her to totally brush her hair by herself, without some help from an adult? Have you actually watched her to see if her arms are long enough and she is flexible enough to comb it well in the back?


Another thing to consider is if all of her friends have their hair in fancy braids or other hair designs she may be wanting that, too but be afraid to ask you. In some 2nd & 3rd grade classrooms almost all of the girls have their hair combed & French braided or curled & fixed by their mothers or fathers every morning.


When my daughter was in school, I bet that many of the girls (except for the ones with very short and very straight hair) did not take complete responsibility for their hair until they were 9 or maybe even older. Of course, maybe her grade/group of friends was different, as most girls in my daughter's class had shoulder length hair and many had hair going down to the middle of their backs.


Of course, you know your daughter better than I know her. Maybe she is able to brush her hair completely on her own and is just not doing it because she is lazy or defiant or wants to sleep later in the morning before school.
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Old 03-21-2016, 11:09 PM
 
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 134,085 times
Reputation: 209
I'm not even talking about school days i just mean weekends, etc. during week we wouldn't have enough time for her to do it herself. I don't mind fixing it I do during week but days theres no school she won't do anything to it. She has curly hair that is past shoulders i offered to take her to get it cut, she doesn't want to. I straighten it for her a lot b/c she loves it like tht but i do not expect her to completely fix it just attempt to brush it. i want her to take initiative with things like that to at least try an then me help her but i think she is old enough to get up make bed get dressed with clothe I layed out brush teeth an try to brush hair. My kids aren't afraid to ask me to do anything or for anything, they won't ever ask dad anything but me its all day an night if i go to tell them something one is always talking over asking or telling me something lol
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Old 03-22-2016, 10:29 AM
 
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 134,085 times
Reputation: 209
I just wanted to comment that things with kids have been getting better. Today without being told my daughter, 8yr old, on her own w/o being told got up made her bed brushed her teeth, got dressed brushed her hair an tried to put in ponytail. She was so happy when she seen how happy I was an praised her, she really is doing better. Then my 6yr old the baby of the family on his own w/o being told swept our steps w/ broom last night, and you could see the excitement in his face by us being so happy with him. That isn't even a job I would expect of him or them so it makes it that much better. My bf has also been better b/c I started telling him things people were saying in posts an think its been helping
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Old 03-22-2016, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,529 posts, read 16,069,841 times
Reputation: 39022
Quote:
Originally Posted by goochgirl View Post
I just wanted to comment that things with kids have been getting better. Today without being told my daughter, 8yr old, on her own w/o being told got up made her bed brushed her teeth, got dressed brushed her hair an tried to put in ponytail. She was so happy when she seen how happy I was an praised her, she really is doing better. Then my 6yr old the baby of the family on his own w/o being told swept our steps w/ broom last night, and you could see the excitement in his face by us being so happy with him. That isn't even a job I would expect of him or them so it makes it that much better. My bf has also been better b/c I started telling him things people were saying in posts an think its been helping

I am glad that things are getting better. I hope that it continues as you seem pretty overwhelmed and stressed out.
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