How important is your adult children's profession? (college, dad, gifts)

[Praline]

Originally Posted by mainebrokerman

my son wanted to be a pro golfer - hes a very good player , but I convinced him,,,,that in a down economy
jobs are tough to come by at golf courses.

I suggested he be an engineer or a pharmacist....
go to college for 6 years keep your nose clean and study hard,,,and he can hit the ground making 100k a yr, while making a difference in peoples lives.

then he can have nice things,,,,use his brain not his back..
and I will pay 15k a yr ..
an opportunity I never had,,,

well, I leveraged/remortgaged my house, max'd 2 credit cards....but in 2 months he will graduate as a dr. of pharmacy in the top 5% of his class.. 6 yrs of college


yes, im very proud of him.. he does like what he is doing

You have a right to be very proud indeed. Kudos to your son! I only hope my daughter comes to her senses.

[mainebrokerman]

Originally Posted by Praline

You have a right to be very proud indeed. Kudos to your son! I only hope my daughter comes to her senses.

if my son didn't go to college,,,that would be his choice,,,and I would still support him,,,,
if he was a lazy slug, or into drugs,,,,,id be direct with him..

however ....theirs always balance in life....

yes, im very proud of my son,,,,,he's my only kid....good chance he may move out of state and I wont see him much ,,,,that selfishly,,,would suck,,

would I rather him be living near me ..of course!!


but he's got to do his own thing...as all kids do

[NewYorker11356]

Originally Posted by mainebrokerman

my son wanted to be a pro golfer - hes a very good player , but I convinced him,,,,that in a down economy
jobs are tough to come by at golf courses.

I suggested he be an engineer or a pharmacist....
go to college for 6 years keep your nose clean and study hard,,,and he can hit the ground making 100k a yr, while making a difference in peoples lives.

then he can have nice things,,,,use his brain not his back..
and I will pay 15k a yr ..
an opportunity I never had,,,

well, I leveraged/remortgaged my house, max'd 2 credit cards....but in 2 months he will graduate as a dr. of pharmacy in the top 5% of his class.. 6 yrs of college


yes, im very proud of him.. he does like what he is doing

At the same time, you definitely got lucky that he ended up enjoying the pharmacist degree. He very well could have not liked it, and resented you for pushing him in that direction.

[ABQConvict]

Underemployment is the rule for many, if not most, these days. So many university graduates are working in completely unrelated fields to their studies or even making much less than their educational attainment might indicate and this has been common for at least a couple of decades if not more.

Instead of basing your respect for your children on their source of income, maybe take pride in their character, interests and hobbies, and how they treat other people. A much better indication of how you raised them.

[stan4]

Is it honest?
Do they like it?
Do they make enough $ to do whatever they want?

Then I'm fine.

[riaelise]

Sorry, I must disagree. I would feel proud if my children end up being decent human beings, who are also self sufficient, honest, empathetic, possess morals, have a hard work ethic. I feel people judge success by the figures in a paycheck and that's misplaced. Neither my husband nor I have college degrees but we can be considered successful because we are hard workers, good at what we do, and have "put in the work" to obtain the requisite experience that leads to making more money. I'm not trying to sound cliché here, but I really want my girls to be good people and not have to rely on others to meet their needs. No matter what they do, I want them to work hard. If it means $16 per hour or $160,000 per year, it doesn't matter.

[Shooting Stars]

Originally Posted by stan4

Is it honest?
Do they like it?
Do they make enough $ to do whatever they want?

Then I'm fine.

Short and sweet!!!

[Girl]

As long as my kids are employed and able to move out of the house and support themselves fully and responsibly, I don't care what they choose to do for a living, or that they go to college.

Okay, well, I don't want them in the sex trade, but other than that, they can do whatever they want!

Right now my son is leaning towards joining the Air Force after high school in order to get assistance paying for a college degree while serving his country. My daughter wants to be an artist, but since that generally doesn't pay well, I'm encouraging her to think about careers that will enable her to have time to do art in the off-hours. She has thought about healthcare in some capacity - something that only requires a 2-year degree though.

[2blessed2stress]

Originally Posted by bg7

I agree. And "pride" is simply a parental narcissism. Who cares whether you are "proud" or not, besides you...

This. I was thinking this but couldn't quite find the words.

As a parent, as long as they are fully functioning adults and are generally god people, I will feel confident that I've done my job.

[pkbab5]

I will be happy with my kids if they are happy.


I will be proud of my kids if they fulfill (or surpass) their potential, or at least give their best attempt to do so, whatever that may be for each kid.


If my kid could have done great things, but becomes a slacker, I'm not sure I could honestly call myself proud. I'd still love them with my whole heart though.