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Old 03-22-2016, 11:42 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,704,406 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
Just like my son's friend comes to get him to play after school and he has someone watching him.

The neighbor didn't say anything of the sort to the older girl. The neighbor has told me that it's OK for R to go over after homework is done The neighbor and I have talked and the situation handled.

When is it your turn to watch your kids?
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Old 03-22-2016, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Prosper
6,268 posts, read 12,128,624 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
I think 11/12 yrs old vs 6/7 yrs old is too big of a difference to expect kids to "work it out"
Agreed. I'd go confront the 11/12 yr old and ask her why she is doing this... and then tell her to knock it off and play nice, or else.
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Old 03-22-2016, 11:55 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,872,955 times
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Why are you allowing your child to go to a neighbors home who is obviously not a responsible adult? Why are you allowing children at your home who do not belong there because they are in theory the responsibility of someone else?
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Charlotte Area
3,170 posts, read 2,905,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
When is it your turn to watch your kids?
Ha. Good one.

My son's friend plays over here after school along with his little brother more often than not. I know N's parents fairly well as the boy's play together and do things together quite often.

I do not really know any of the girl's parents that go to the neighbors after school. I look it at it like this...I wouldn't want to go pick my kids up from their after school provider and have them tell them they aren't there but at a neighbor's house playing. A neighbor I don't know.

This doesn't happen everyday with the girl's either. They may play 2-3 times a week sometimes less sometimes more. Depends on homework and afterschool activities.

Last edited by Riley09swb; 03-22-2016 at 12:23 PM..
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Charlotte Area
3,170 posts, read 2,905,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Why are you allowing your child to go to a neighbors home who is obviously not a responsible adult? Why are you allowing children at your home who do not belong there because they are in theory the responsibility of someone else?
The neighbor knows that they are going to come and check to see R can come out and play. They then walk back to her backyard. I don't want them to play here because they are someone else's responsibility and like I said I don't really know the parents.

I can see them playing. They don't leave the playset. The back of my house is windows. I can go into any room and see them and I do check on them. The neighbor is clueless in that she isn't outside with them and so is clueless as to what happened.
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:26 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,704,406 times
Reputation: 40996
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
I do not really know any of the girl's parents that go to the neighbors after school. I look it at it like this...I wouldn't want to go pick my kids up from their after school provider and have them tell them they aren't there but at a neighbor's house playing. A neighbor I don't know.

Get to know these other parents. Invite the girls to your house.
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:36 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,866 posts, read 18,930,000 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
I don't need the neighbor to watch my daughter. She goes over there to play with the other kids if they are outside or they come get her to play over there with the neighbors permission. She isn't allowed to go in the house (my rule ) and if she needs anything she comes home.Just like my son's friend comes to get him to play after school and he has someone watching him.

The neighbor didn't say anything of the sort to the older girl. The neighbor has told me that it's OK for R to go over after homework is done The neighbor and I have talked and the situation handled.

I should also add that all these kids with the exception of the older girl (this year)go to school together and live in the same neighborhood and ride the bus together.

You're still taking advantage of your neighbor, even if she says she's fine with it. If all the kids were playing there because they were invited, rather than because the parents are paying for daycare, that would be different. But you're getting something for free that the other parents are having to pay for. It doesn't matter if the other girls know your daughter at school. If you're getting a free service, then you can't complain if it's not exactly to your liking.
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:39 PM
 
4,749 posts, read 6,160,212 times
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I'd talk to the girl and the lady. I'd go over there next time the girls come and ask her over and say, with Girl right there, "Mrs. ?, I just wanted to make sure it's ok for R to be here because Girl has been telling her to go home." Then, when Mrs. ? says it's fine, look at Girl and say, "OK, you heard Mrs. ?, so can you just leave R alone when she is here? I will be watching you from my house."
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Old 03-22-2016, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,333 posts, read 20,585,793 times
Reputation: 20249
Personally I don't think your daughter should go over to play either. The woman is running a daycare and taking care of several kids. Your daughter is one more in the mix even if you don't feel she is being taken care of. I would explain to your daughter she can invite any of the girls over for a playdate another time, but while they are at daycare they are off limits.
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Old 03-22-2016, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,501 posts, read 15,961,355 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
If you're not paying the neighbor to watch your daughter, your daughter shouldn't be there.

If you had a regular daycare next to your house, you wouldn't feel it was appropriate to send your child over there to play for free, and this is the same sort of situation.

Some states have regulations about how many children can be watched in a home setting, depending on the kind of license the daycare provider has. Your child might be one too many, and the daycare provider has mentioned that to the 11/12 year old, who doesn't realize it's not polite to repeat it to your daughter when she shows up.

So either pay the neighbor to watch your daughter (I wouldn't, it doesn't sound like she's doing a great job of minding all those children) or keep your daughter home.
Good points.

Even if you are watching out the window, IMHO, it is NOT appropriate for your daughter to go over there to play while the mother is running a home day care center. And, it sounds like she is doing a horrible job of watching the children if she is "clueless" about what the older child is saying to your daughter.

There are so many things that could go wrong, including your neighbor losing her license, if the state checks and there are too many children in her backyard.

What if your daughter or someone else gets injured? That could also cost the woman her license.

Keep your daughter home. Make arrangements for playdates on the weekend at your house, where you are supervising.
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