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Old 03-27-2016, 11:47 PM
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 133,147 times
Reputation: 209


I don't exactly know how to describe this problem. I have wanted to seek professional help on this subject but not sure what type of dr. to go to. Anyway my daughter is 8yrs old. She is like any other normal child. She gets pretty much all A's and B's in school, she has a lot of friends, there's nothing abnormal about her. But if you ask her a question she has trouble answering. Especially if she thinks she is going to get in trouble. Her replies will be either "I don't know" or she will sit there an like stutter or something she will begin by saying the word because or the word I but then like stutter an say I I I but nothing else. Then if you are just having a normal conversation with her and say something like "so what did you do in school today?" She will say I don't know or I forget or say I uh uh uh an not be able to spit it out. Now lately there's even been times where she will go to tell me something an she will be like uh mommy to tell me w/e it is then say uh I forget what I was going to tell you! You can see she did actually forget in one sec what she was going to say b/c she will struggle to try to remember. Then there's times she can tell you all sorts of things without a problem. So it's really hard for me to know what's causing it. But 90 percent of the time if you ask her something she has so much trouble communicating her words back, anyone have any experience with this? She doesn't like actually stutter she just idk can't spit out her thoughts or w/e.
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Old 03-28-2016, 02:02 AM
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,866 posts, read 18,930,000 times
Reputation: 25123
Start with the pediatrician, who will be able to tell you if it's something to be worried about or just a normal phase that kids go through.

We all forget what we're about to say sometimes, I wouldn't worry about that particular issue.

Does she have the same problem at school or talking to friends, or is it just at home?
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Old 03-28-2016, 02:11 AM
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 133,147 times
Reputation: 209
I don't know if it happens at school an I don't allow going to friends houses yet, I still thinks she's too young. But the not spitting it out will be like me saying " so why did you or didn't you do such an such" an she will say " i uh uh uh I uh I " an will not continue. and sometimes its so bad you just get so frustrated that she will not just say something anything. Their dad gets super frustrated an after a moment of this just says nevermind an asks our son who will say something. All we want is to be able to askher something an her respond even if it isn't the right response it would be better than nothing. I will try to probe her an say was it b/c of this or that an it is still i don't know or the uh uh uh. It is frustrating. I truly hope it doesn't happen at school.
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Old 03-28-2016, 05:41 AM
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,160 posts, read 37,787,675 times
Reputation: 73915
She may have problems with expressive communication.


I have a son who is like this. He has always had trouble answering direct questions. He hates listing things out, like if you ask, "Who all was there?" when he gets home from something. He is very intelligent. Deans list at college. Still has trouble expressing his feelings. He feels things and he knows the answer to stuff, is a brilliant writer, but verbal communication can be a challenge, unless he is really motivated to talk about a subject.

Go to her pediatrician and see if the doc thinks she needs a recommendation for a speech therapist.

I know you have a LOT of other stuff going on with your kids, so maybe a psychologist for family sessions.
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Old 03-28-2016, 07:36 AM
Location: Dallas TX
14,327 posts, read 20,579,417 times
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Talk to her teacher and see if it happens at school. You need to have a better grasp if this is just at home or if it is other places. Do you go on playdates with her? Is it only around you?
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Old 03-28-2016, 08:05 AM
Location: Wisconsin
16,499 posts, read 15,961,355 times
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Talk to her teacher. If it was a problem at school they probably would have already told you about the problem.

I suspect that it is a small problem that only happens at home due the tension & stress in that environment. Does she do this with other family members or when she is out in the community with you?

But, to be sure, discuss it with the teacher and pediatrician. If they also are concerned she could be evaluated by a speech therapist (for free through the school system).

As you probably already know, her dad getting angry and frustrated with her is making it much, much worse. If he just stops doing that her repeating words may completely or almost completely disappear.

BTW, even many adults have difficulty admitting that they make a mistake or did something wrong when put under extreme pressure by their superiors. Picture yourself facing two giants (to an 8 year old parents can look like giants) at work demanding, ordering, forcing you to tell the truth about a stupid mistake that you make on the job. Even an adult may say "I um, I um, I um" or say "I don't know" or not admit the error to avoid being chastised or punished or fired.

And, your little girl is just an 8 year old child with a lot less maturity and life skills. Think about this.

Last edited by germaine2626; 03-28-2016 at 08:15 AM..
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Old 03-28-2016, 05:33 PM
Location: Central IL
13,433 posts, read 7,159,129 times
Reputation: 31181
Does she stutter in her own conversations or only when answering a direct question put to her? Only direct questions under stressful situations? Important things to observe and then talk with your doctor. Don't mess around...but be clear you can communicate the circumstances - that will help explain the possible causes.
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Old 03-29-2016, 06:31 AM
Location: detroit mi
667 posts, read 425,386 times
Reputation: 1579
My son is knda like this. He is a talker but when he is trying to explain something he trys to go to fast and doesn't organize what he wants to say. He will skip parts so it dont make sense. I will tell him stop, think about what you want to say then tell me. This helps alot because it makes him think about what he is going to say and slows him down. My wife will do it sometimes too when trying to tell a story so thats probably where he gets it.

There probably isn't much you can do about it but talking to a doctor wouldn't hurt.
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Old 03-29-2016, 07:05 AM
Location: Austin
7,083 posts, read 16,915,573 times
Reputation: 9502
My 8 year old has been so annoying with this type of behavior lately. Constantly saying "I don't remember" what happens at school. How do you not know what you just did 5 minutes before I picked you up. She's in GT, and I'll ask if they're building something new or programming, and the answer is always "I don't remember".

Then, when she's telling a story, it's full of "um's" throughout. I'll stop her and ask her to try again, gather her thoughts, and remove the ums. That's actually been helping, instead of letting her continue with the ums. My 5 year old has noticed also, and he'll tell her to stop saying "um" all the time.

Instead of asking open ended questions, I'll try to say specifically, "What did you do in math today?" Or "What was your favorite thing for the entire day?" You would think a favorite would be memorable, but it rarely is.
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Old 03-29-2016, 06:03 PM
Location: ohio
289 posts, read 133,147 times
Reputation: 209
This happens everywhere like when talking to grandma, or telling me a story, or w/e too. Not just in stressful situations, but I do agree that her dad doesn't help when he questions her about w/e issue. I try to be more empthatic towards it an try to be patient an like encourage her while she is speaking but I don't want to answer for her and then her maybe just go with what I said. Like I sometimes know what she's trying to say an other time I can't get it an I can't get her to just spit it out. I have been thinking about finding a psychiatrist at least for me an her due to loss of my dad, b/c it affects us the most an I asked her what she thought about it she said she thinks it's a good idea. I do ask a lot of yes no questions or try to give choices so it is easier for her but there's times her dad wants exact answers an I can't help that. Yea my 6 yr old will try to answer for her when this happens too. It is always I don't know, maybe it's that age or something.
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