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Old 04-02-2016, 01:02 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 2,883,322 times
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Punishing does not help I am afraid. For me looks like this little child has behavioral disorder. He need professional help seek it asap. If he need always to hurt some one that mean it is very possible he will grow in to a serial killer or psychopath. Talk to behavioral therapist that is the best. If there is a luck he will be okay. But that will take him away to a separate correction school that is how it where I live. May be get information from GP he or she can guide you to the right place.
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Old 04-02-2016, 01:24 AM
 
2,635 posts, read 909,886 times
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Sociopath, with the classic sociopath mother-in-total-denial. His mother needs a to get a clue, so that others--animals and humans--do not get hurt.
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Old 04-02-2016, 03:46 AM
 
Location: Northern Maine
9,502 posts, read 14,300,543 times
Reputation: 8966
We had a 13 year old foster child come into our system. The state said he had to be "joined at the hip" with an adult at ll times, 24 hours a day. The foster parents could not be awake all night and he was transferred to another home. The kid killed a two year old.

There is evil in this world. Some people are born evil. It isn't your fault. Get this kid out of your home today and do not sleep until he is gone.
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Old 04-02-2016, 06:42 AM
 
1,504 posts, read 575,743 times
Reputation: 1361
Other people's problems are not your problems....all for the sake of what ? Sex? Recently I told my youngest son who has a problematic older girlfriend....... you can not give up your honor in the hope of securing continued sex. His reply was "If I attempt to hold my honor I will not get any sex...in other words he has to submit to abuse to get sex....I see a similarity here.
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Old 04-02-2016, 06:56 AM
 
770 posts, read 964,261 times
Reputation: 1365
Most likely this child cannot be helped. He is only going to get worse. You need to read up on sociopaths asap. This is not going to get better- no manner of parenting (reinforcement or punishment based) is going to fix this. While he needs serious serious help- you are not the one who has any ability to provide that for him.


You are not helping anyone in this situation. You are just additional fuel for his destructive behavior. You-as the punisher-are going to be the first target he either kills or sends to jail. Either way your life will be over. Those times when you love to be with him- chances are they are all an act. He's manipulating you. He may enjoy the time but doesn't care at all about you. That's why the tantrum when he leaves-he wants to continue with the fun activity- you're just a necessary participant. I repeat-read up on sociopaths -especially on their ability as master manipulators.


You need to end this now, cleanly and quickly. For some reason all I can picture is you dragging this on, break-up and make-up cycle and your gf ending up pregnant. Any child you had with this woman would suffer an awful life at the hands of their brother. They would be such a target for his aggression.


I beg you for your own health and safety leave. I know it seems as if you are abandoning the woman and child, but you're not helping this situation. They need to hit bottom so Mom finally seeks the help her son needs or CPS can no longer ignore the signs. While you are there picking up the pieces the full extent of his problem is being hidden. You leaving could lead to the child being forced to receive treatment- residential treatment. No amount of day treatment is going to be successful with mom undermining everything at home.
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Old 04-02-2016, 09:39 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,053 posts, read 8,208,313 times
Reputation: 9318
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jbones112 View Post
I'm at the end of my rope. He calls her a c..nt, talks back constantly. He already has been removed from public school for exposing him self, swearing at teachers students and hitting. He has no diagnosed disabilities. He doesn't have any fear of punishment. He has to be watched while handling small animals and dogs. He abuses animals tried to choke a guinea pig and purposely hurt it and constantly feels the need to hurt things. He has never been hit or abused. He accepts no redirection from us or his teachers. He has to have the last word no matter what. I've raised my god son/nephew due to his mother being absent and helped with my cousins children for a few years after he passed and they had some issues of their own. I've never had a child be so disrespectful and have no remorse for his actions like this and have had to stop him from coming to my house because of fear what he will do or lie and say. And refuse to be alone with him ever he can not be trusted. He has told school and child protective services lies on countless occasions lies to get his way and try to get his mother and I in trouble for taking his tablet away and said we hit him . He is extremely manipulative. He also said daddy touched my peanut to avoid going there for split custody which has been forever. Upon investigating the department of child services specialist decided it was a lie. I don't know what to do and it's tearing us apart. My girlfriend constantly makes excuses and doesn't punish and still gives him chance after chance. Shes leaving me no options and I see myself losing it I'm not perfect and at the end of my rope. I am an extremely laid back individual who is always calm and believe in structure, unconditional love and understanding but I'm losing it. Help
Sounds like he needs to be committed.
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Old 04-02-2016, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,229,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jbones112 View Post
Cps is involved and has been since day one. All the psychologist said was he was developmentally delayed and posibly ptsd. He sees an occupational therapist for weak hand/finger strength. Which is bull because I kno for a fact he is extremely lazy. Its a struggle to get him to put his socks on or do anything he doesn't feel like doing. When he was in public school the teachers called numerous times because his father wouldn't wash him or get him in the shower and would smell like bum on his days. We've picked him up from his father's mothers house at his bus stop and has smelt so bad I gagged. Cps is a joke and a dangerously flawed system.

Came on this thread to suggest involving CPS but then saw this post. That's a real shame that they are not helping - have you tried going further up the chain to supervisers/bosses? He clearly needs help. Make official complaints that CPS aren't doing anything, request different caseworkers, if that doesn't work is there any chance your girlfriend could move to a different area so a different system with different workers would be involved?
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Old 04-02-2016, 09:59 AM
 
887 posts, read 463,595 times
Reputation: 2999
If no one dated single moms, eventually they'd get the message (maybe) and then work on getting their stuff together. Maybe they'd even consider having stable, responsible relationships in the first place with equally stable, responsible partners.

Today however, we live in a society where decisions and choices do not matter because consequences do not matter. Why worry about the consequences of your choices when either the government (especially) or some other male sucker is likely to bail you out?

Unfortunately with the continuing "smash the patriarchy!!!" trend the USA is headed in, we're going to get more and more of this disastrous family break down. It's bad for men, it's bad for women, and it's horrendously bad for kids.
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Old 04-02-2016, 10:12 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,053 posts, read 8,208,313 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InchingWest View Post
If no one dated single moms, eventually they'd get the message (maybe) and then work on getting their stuff together. Maybe they'd even consider having stable, responsible relationships in the first place with equally stable, responsible partners.

Today however, we live in a society where decisions and choices do not matter because consequences do not matter. Why worry about the consequences of your choices when either the government (especially) or some other male sucker is likely to bail you out?

Unfortunately with the continuing "smash the patriarchy!!!" trend the USA is headed in, we're going to get more and more of this disastrous family break down. It's bad for men, it's bad for women, and it's horrendously bad for kids.

Cue the accusations of sexism in 3, 2, 1...
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Old 04-02-2016, 10:40 AM
 
15,294 posts, read 16,849,408 times
Reputation: 15020
Just went back and looked and the child is already in a school for kids with behavioral problems which means he has an educational dx even if he does not have a medical dx. It sounds as if CPS and the school probably have developed a behavioral plan for his mom to follow, but she is not willing to follow through on it.

I agree that the OP needs to get out of this situation or at least not be around the mom when she has her son with her.
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