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I'm at the end of my rope. He calls her a c..nt, talks back constantly. He already has been removed from public school for exposing him self, swearing at teachers students and hitting. He has no diagnosed disabilities. He doesn't have any fear of punishment. He has to be watched while handling small animals and dogs. He abuses animals tried to choke a guinea pig and purposely hurt it and constantly feels the need to hurt things. He has never been hit or abused. He accepts no redirection from us or his teachers. He has to have the last word no matter what. I've raised my god son/nephew due to his mother being absent and helped with my cousins children for a few years after he passed and they had some issues of their own. I've never had a child be so disrespectful and have no remorse for his actions like this and have had to stop him from coming to my house because of fear what he will do or lie and say. And refuse to be alone with him ever he can not be trusted. He has told school and child protective services lies on countless occasions lies to get his way and try to get his mother and I in trouble for taking his tablet away and said we hit him . He is extremely manipulative. He also said daddy touched my peanut to avoid going there for split custody which has been forever. Upon investigating the department of child services specialist decided it was a lie. I don't know what to do and it's tearing us apart. My girlfriend constantly makes excuses and doesn't punish and still gives him chance after chance. Shes leaving me no options and I see myself losing it I'm not perfect and at the end of my rope. I am an extremely laid back individual who is always calm and believe in structure, unconditional love and understanding but I'm losing it. Help
This behavior did not develop in a vacuum. This child has been abused. Get out now. But before you do try to convince mom to request he be tested by the school. This is a dire situation. I've been in special education for almost 40 years. Good luck.
Sounds like mom's main focus should be trying to help her deeply disturbed son, not maintaining a relationship with a boyfriend. Since she doesn't have enough sense to make that decision on her own, make it for her. Leave the relationship and let her focus on her son.
I don't get these type of situations at all. Who would willingly sign up for that kind of drama? He's not your kid. He's his parents' problem. Let them handle it.
This is a heartbreaking situation. This child is very likely a sociopath or psychopath and requires professional intervention to help determine if the cause is nature, nurture or both. My hunch is that this boy is or was severely abused.
Is your girlfriend interested in getting him evaluated by a child psychologist?
Well if your girlfriend "constantly makes excuses" and "doesn't punish", you have your answer. She has raised a little brat who is well on his way to outright criminal behavior. Does his father discipline him and is that why he doesn't want to go there? The three of them need help getting on the same page to help their son before it's too late. I don't blame you for doubting you have a place in it all.
His father is a dead beat.I've been buying his school cloths, shoes ,haircut s you name it for 3 years . I can not watch a kid go without out. His father has 50/50 custody and has him 3 days a week mon., tue,wed. He's where he gets those colorful words I mean everyone might slip time to time with a swear but his father says absolutely vial things in front of him and spends most of his money on remote control cares at 33yrs old. The only thing I'll say in his defense is about the peanut touching stuff because he has said about everyone who has made him mad including us. He definitely hits him also to each their own but he definitely should not be doing it. Especially when it is out of anger. My mother was a social worker for the department of mental health and child and family before that. She was a good parent and always made sure I was held accountable for my actions. My girlfriend has been there for me during some big loses in my life the past couple of years and I'm just trying to help but she thinks she knows her son better. And thinks I'm treating him unfairly when I tell her she is never going to have a normal life and that he is going to be in juvenile programs until jail. I know. I had bad attendance my freshman year of high school and was forced to go alternative school for a year before could go back to normal school and the kids were him in a few years. I
His school thinks his father is awesome even though he has never showed up for one meeting or iep plan and thinks we are the problem because the boy complains about me putting him in time out and taking toys away when I was allowed to do so. I know he makes me sound horrible at his school. I'm the only one who was consistently punishing him I think so I'm the enemy.
It doesn't sound like the girl friend or the dad are good parents at all. YOU can not fix this kid. He is not yours and you have no power over him. Personally I would break up and move on. Cut your losses before they get bigger.
Now I feel bad in trying to get advice I haven't said one nice thing. He is good sometimes for short spurts and I've bonded with him and he used to listen to me. I've taught him how to play soccer. Every time I cut the grass I let him steer the tractor for awhile and he listened good and paid attention or I wouldn't let him. During the short periods of this he really used to appreciate me and tell me he loved me. And my girlfriend would even get lil jealous when he had nightmare he would leave his bedroom at my house and come to ours and twirl her hair til he fell asleep and even started todo it to me. I always include him we go to the beach almost everyday in the summer on hikes and walks. We've spent alot of time together. But when it's time to leave or stop any of the fun stuff a tantrum ensues and he trys to run into traffic starts swearing. He's been punished and doesn't not care about losing any of those things. He was doing better for awhile when I came into the picture even went months without a swearing which was incredible and she still doesn't trust me or my methods because of her past relationships I think. Now I can't even tell him not to swear without her jumping down my throat all moma bear.
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