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Old 03-31-2016, 12:38 PM
 
Location: FLG/PHX/MKE
7,289 posts, read 12,872,496 times
Reputation: 11529

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
...Don't dads realize that every time they give their boys a sly "atta boy"
...teaching them it's OK to treat girls as nothing more than a blow up doll?
...my little girl already has to deal with harassment from boys
...some day she is going to have to work with these same boys who will still treat her as less than.
...That she will receive more unsolicited d*** pics than she could imagine.
...That she will never be able to fully enjoy the college experience because being assaulted is always in the back of her mind.

...Why do men think this is OK?
Gotta love the last one.

Were you asking a parenting question, or was this just a (barely) veiled anti-male rant?

Tell your daughter that she shouldn't send pics to anyone. If you've spoken about men to your daughter like you speak of them here, she probably already hates them already, so it might not be necessary.

 
Old 03-31-2016, 12:49 PM
 
Location: detroit mi
667 posts, read 424,420 times
Reputation: 1579
When I was in school there were plenty of inappropriate things I asked girls to do with zero influence from my father. Most of the time the girls were willing. I suppose if the girls wouldn't do what we asked, then we would have probably stopped asking but since they didn't mind, neither did we.

Its amazing the things you will hear kids talk about when they think no one is listening. Just the other day my son that is in 6th grade was being told about two girls one cup by a class mate. Trust me, at that age these kids do not need perental influence to be thinking about girls and what they are all about, it comes naturally through puberty.
 
Old 03-31-2016, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,059 posts, read 37,695,377 times
Reputation: 73696
If, as you say, THAT many boys are asking, or apparently pestering, their classmates for nude pix, then there is a culture problem at the school.

Go to the principal, if you have evidence, and discuss it. There should be schoolwide action taken.

If you are teaching your daughter about her own self-worth, you know that is an ongoing process that you should continue. But the requests should be reported.
 
Old 03-31-2016, 01:33 PM
 
12,915 posts, read 19,792,997 times
Reputation: 33935
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
Not necessarily on this issue, but I have seen plenty of guys (presumably Dads) at soccer games, birthday parties, movies, grocery stores, wherever who point out when girls/women are "hot" and things like that. Even if they think it is innocent bonding or whatever, it's really just teaching boys that it's perfectly acceptable to objectify women/girls.
You need to find a more mature group of people to hang around with. I don't know a single father who behaves that way. On the other hand, I do know parents who allow their daughters to wear makeup and clothing that belies their young age.
 
Old 03-31-2016, 01:43 PM
 
2,038 posts, read 1,477,213 times
Reputation: 3312
A high school teenage girl was recently arrested for taking pics of other girls in the bathroom without their consent...when are you going to demand that mothers stop giving the "atta girl" to these disrespectul girls.
 
Old 03-31-2016, 01:46 PM
 
1,587 posts, read 1,996,045 times
Reputation: 869
Ha! I wouldn't blame this on just the boys. Girls are the ones that are very proactive (initiators) in texting boys - we have been at a couple middle schools and seen the same in both; and I've heard about this trend in other places too.

I'd only blame your daughter if she is hanging around the types of kids that talk about this. She has the power to make good choices and choose other friends. And, you don't need to give her a smart phone!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkbab5 View Post


Also, I bet you a substantial amount of money that it's the other GIRLS at the school that encourage their girl friends to send nude pics to the boys. Don't you remember middle school? Boys only cared about the latest music. Girls were the ones who were all into boys and which girls were doing what.

YEP, this is what is going on. Be more objective. Your daughter and/or her friends is/are not as innocent as you think.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Spot.on!

Girls are driving the "dating" trend in middle school. If parents make it clear that won't be allowed until high school, they would do both girls and boys a huge favor.
YES, exactly.....GIRLS are driving this. GIRLS mature first (puberty). Boys are usually just interested in sports and video games. It is GIRLS that chase the boys and are asking them to "date" and are being forward on Instagram and texting.

Last edited by snuffybear; 03-31-2016 at 01:55 PM..
 
Old 03-31-2016, 01:48 PM
 
1,587 posts, read 1,996,045 times
Reputation: 869
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
Not necessarily on this issue, but I have seen plenty of guys (presumably Dads) at soccer games, birthday parties, movies, grocery stores, wherever who point out when girls/women are "hot" and things like that. Even if they think it is innocent bonding or whatever, it's really just teaching boys that it's perfectly acceptable to objectify women/girls.
Yep and I see girls doing the SAME thing.

Look thru your child's Instagram .... you will see it....or if your child doesn't have an account, just look at a bunch that are public.

You only really have control over your own child....stop blaming others. SHE is choosing friends. You can also choose to homeschool or send your child to an all girls school, or a more academically oriented school.
 
Old 03-31-2016, 02:23 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,572 posts, read 21,756,199 times
Reputation: 44352
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
So apparently it's become common for boys at my dds middle school to ask girls to send them nude pictures. <snip> Where do they get the idea that this is remotely OK? I have raised my girls to be strong and independent. They are raised to know that they are NOT put on this planet to entertain or cater to men in any way.

But who the hell is raising these boys, and there are a lot of them? Don't dads realize that every time they give their boys a sly "atta boy" they are teaching them that girls are less than? That they are teaching them it's OK to treat girls as nothing more than a blow up doll?

It just makes me so angry that my little girl (because they really are still just little kids), already has to deal with harassment from boys, when all she's doing is trying to get an education. I wish I could tell her it gets better, but the sad truth is that some day she is going to have to work with these same boys who will still treat her as less than. That she will receive more unsolicited<snip> pics than she could imagine. That she will never be able to fully enjoy the college experience because being assaulted is always in the back of her mind.

Why do men think this is OK?

Girls aren't angels either.
 
Old 03-31-2016, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Illinois
4,754 posts, read 4,092,415 times
Reputation: 12890
Wow, all this "the girls should do this, the girls should do that." Yes they should stand up for themselves, and report these boys, and everything else. But - and I know this is a CRAZY idea - parents need to sit their boys down and tell them are not to EVER send or ask for nude pics EVER. Not now, not when they're 18, not when they're 40.

Changing men's culture needs to start with the men. Men don't want women changing their culture, so they are responsible for doing it themselves, and it starts with how boys are being raised up.
 
Old 03-31-2016, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,459 posts, read 21,202,746 times
Reputation: 17675
Sometimes it just makes good sense to close a thread sooner than later.
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