Daughter is complaining about job after one day! (girls, boyfriend, university)

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe

The good news is, she went back to the job. And she has friends to talk to about this stuff. So, Mom, I think you can safely leave her alone to work it out. At least for now. Believe it or not, she'll probably get decent advice from her friends. They're probably sick of her bumming cigarettes LOL.

And good for you that she believes you meant it when you said you weren't going to support her.

Good points.

[convextech]

Originally Posted by Twilightnight

My 19 year old daughter got a job as an over night stocker at a wal mart neighborhood market. She works from 10 PM to 7 AM. She doesn't have a car or her license mainly because she has said she is too nervous to drive. Fortunately her job is only about a 10 minute walk and I know she does a lot more walking at the mall.

Anyway after her first night she came home crying complaining that she hates the walk

Your daughter thinks she is a special snowflake, but she didn't get there by herself.


I would never have allowed my daughter to choose not to get her drivers license. I would not be driving her around after age 16 and she would have had a paying job a long time ago too.


It's time for some tough love and driving lessons.

[mainebrokerman]

at that age I was a clean up/clerk kid in a meatroom,,,,
a tough job,,,, I was full of **** n vinegar...more than brains,,,these guys were tough ,,,got in my face and hollered at me,,,,, I was a wise asss kid....sarcastic and rebellious,,, this was like boot camp...
I needed this,,,they were like job coaches


I think every teenager needs to get/develop some guts n grit ...they need to learn the real world- working for a living,,,

I cleaned up equipment... blood on the floor and lifted 100lbs or more,,,and complaining was not an option..all be very fast and efficient,,,learning how to grind burger and all


teenagers have no idea how good they have it,,,,, many grow up in a very soft world of flowers and unicorns...


when my son started working and then complaining I let him know how lucky he truly was



my grandmother use to tell us kids,,,when she was growing up she would kill and dress the chicken,,,she would clean the fish,,,and also help cut up deer and package,,,they didn't have the luxury of being "squeamish"

how many of us have been without shelter? have been hungry?? have had to fight for our lives??
yes, we are lucky,,,most of us haven't...



fathers and dads get criticized by wives, girlfriends and mothers because most guys have to get thick skin ,
guys will "ride" other guys at work,,, whats acceptable and what isn't (complaining and whining) you cant do this with girls,,,its now called harassment,,,unless its another women doing it

schools don't teach work ethic,,,,,thats the parents job.. and if parents ont or cant,,,then its good to have entry level jobs be tough on kids,,, it builds character,,
we don't feel reward/accomplishment from easy,,,


the other way to look at this - tell your daughter this is the real world,,,,, and what you can look forward to,,,unless you go to college or go in the service

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by jmarchand1981

That type of job is brutal.i worked at target for three days about 13 years ago doing the same overnight thing. Brutal brutal work. I was in my early 20's at the time and in better shape and it was still taxing.

Fine...I'm sure it's hard. That's why it should motivate her to either get training or go to college or look for some other job she can do.

She sounds spoiled and a dose of the real world will do her good. And as for smoking, yeah, $10 an hour buys a couple packs of cheap smokes. The OP needs to make sure that her pay goes for ALL of her expenses and is not just for smokes and entertainment - she's not 16 she's an adult and has to start paying her way if she's not at least going to school.

[TheShadow]

This too shall pass. She will get past her first yucky days on the job. You just have to let her work through it. Offer emotional support, but only if she seems really down in front of you. Don't let on that you are reading all her FB stuff. She's on her way to becoming an adult and that means you should let her try to work things out on her own. Sounds like she is about 3 years behind the curve. This might be just her personality, or you guys may have pampered her a bit too long as so many parents do today. She needs the chance to see that not driving is cruddy enough to push her past her fears of driving. She needs to see that manual labor is probably not the kind of job she wants and she needs more skills to move up. Hopefully she will put 2 and 2 together and read the proverbial handwriting on the wall. "Summer vacation" is over and it's time to get down to the business of being an adult, and making adult decisions. Be strong, if she quits she must get another job or start some sort of job related schooling.

[mainebrokerman]

Originally Posted by TheShadow

This too shall pass. She will get past her first yucky days on the job. You just have to let her work through it. Offer emotional support, but only if she seems really down in front of you. Don't let on that you are reading all her FB stuff. She's on her way to becoming an adult and that means you should let her try to work things out on her own. Sounds like she is about 3 years behind the curve. This might be just her personality, or you guys may have pampered her a bit too long as so many parents do today. She needs the chance to see that not driving is cruddy enough to push her past her fears of driving. She needs to see that manual labor is probably not the kind of job she wants and she needs more skills to move up. Hopefully she will put 2 and 2 together and read the proverbial handwriting on the wall. "Summer vacation" is over and it's time to get down to the business of being an adult, and making adult decisions. Be strong, if she quits she must get another job or start some sort of job related schooling.

good post!!


I use to try to teach my son about focusing and "switching gears" when needed
this is why school sports are good for kids...it teaches focus, it teaches teamwork and it teaches hard work,,,because if you are slacking- someone else has to play harder or you are pulling down the whole team

[seain dublin]

Originally Posted by Twilightnight

For the record she has graduated high school but hasn't shown interest in college despite my pleas. She got this job only after I had a talk with her telling her I would not support her anymore. She also smokes which I did not buy but she has friends that take her places and gets her cigarettes.

This job is part time and she gets $9.50 an hour.

Well working a job like this may show some interest in college. It could be a real eye opener.

Originally Posted by oberon_1

Did you ever talk to your daughter ASKING her what she wants to do instead of college?
Did she tell you in detail what her plans are?
Maybe if she went to work at a place she wants to, her reaction would have been different.
What I am basically saying is make her responsible for what she does. Part of the complaint is because she feels this job was forced on her, by you.

Well you see when you're 19, you don't go to college, and you have no work experience(you know getting a retail job at the local mall like I did at 16), don't bother to learn to drive, your choices get more limited.

Originally Posted by Senah

The one thing I think might be worth talking to her about (which could be awkward) is that she really needs to be careful with posting work things on FaceBook. Many people these days, especially with the liberal privacy settings young people use, have gotten into trouble and even lost their jobs through posts their colleagues or managers read on FB. It is very unprofessional to vent in a public forum (which is what FB is, regardless of how young people see it today) about how you hate your job. Many employers see it as denigrating their brand, and also feel that if you hate it so much, fine, they can fire you and find someone else who needs and wants that job.

I think that is a good lesson to impart to most young people in today's world. Fair or not, you are building a public image through your Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook posts and pictures, and you need to do so responsibly, as we are seeing now that many times things from 5-10 years ago are coming back to haunt people. I would encourage her to vent over the phone to friends/family or to you, because fair enough we've all been there. But FB isn't the place to do it.

Excellent comments, many young people(and now some older ones who aren't too bright) think they have to post all their business, every slight, what they had for lunch is world news....it isn't.

I have to tell you though I talked to a young person just about what you said in your last paragraph, they couldn't get the difference between venting on the phone or in person as being any different than posting on FB, which is scary.

[Caltovegas]

She doesn't want to go to school? Fine so tell her for the next 45 years there is a good chance what she is doing now is the type of jobs she will be doing. She should consider the Air Force or Navy. Long term thinking retirement or shorter term thinking lifestyle are real considerations.

She can complain all she wants but she is where she is By her choice. Freedom is the realization the world in the big picture doesn't care. Hustle. Grant Cardone TV | Whatever it Takes

[Vision67]

When I was 9 years old I asked my dad for an allowance. He said no. "If you want money, go work for it. Get a job."

So I found a paper route and got up every morning at 5 to deliver 60 papers before school started. I thought he was just a mean old dad. I was continuously employed from that time until I retired at 66.

Now I understand his wisdom. Life is tough. You need to step up to the plate and learn to hustle. But once you've done that you become confident in yourself. Becoming unemployed is just an opportunity to find something better.

Thanks dad.

Perhaps if you teach your kids this they will someday appreciate you too.

[MetroWord]

I've been working since I was 16. At 19, I was going to college and grinding steel at a steel dump yard and dragging 100+ pound steel pieces across the yard in 90-100 degree heat under the sun.

Kids these days...