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Old 04-11-2016, 05:54 PM
 
Location: So Ca
26,658 posts, read 26,627,701 times
Reputation: 24712

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
I'm 41 and have 17 + 18 year olds. I could definitely handle a baby right now, no problem. But then I think about handling an 18 year old at 58 and shudder a bit.
Yes. Baby and toddlerhood is the easy part. Having a teenager in your 60s or 70s, I can't even imagine! Just thinking about the emotional energy it takes to raise teens is exhausting.
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Old 04-11-2016, 05:54 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,682,573 times
Reputation: 20851
Quote:
Originally Posted by Senah View Post
The risk of birth defects goes up percentage wise, yet. Less women over 40 have children than women in their 20s and thirties. However, it is worth noting that most children with down syndrome for example, are born to women under 35.

So, making this choice depending on what might or might not happen, or a numbers game, isn't necessarily a wise decision. Also, most women in America who find out their child has Down syndrome have chosen to continue with the pregnancy. Other birth defects can be more difficult to manage. And I think the risk of miscarriage in your state is not accurate.
The mayo clinic puts it at 40% at 40 and 50% at 45. So yes, I was wrong, it is higher.

Miscarriage Risk factors - Mayo Clinic
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Old 04-11-2016, 06:03 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,682,573 times
Reputation: 20851
Looking up that miscarriage info I found that the average age of menopause in the US is 51 with a normal range off 55 at the high end. All this supposition that the only way 50 yos could start a family is with IVF, egg donors, or surrogacy is just not true. So sure the pregnancy will be much higher risk but considering that 55 is a normal onset for menopause, 50 might not be that crazy an age to still get pregnant.
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Old 04-11-2016, 06:46 PM
 
19,965 posts, read 30,111,427 times
Reputation: 40023
im 51 and have a 23 yr old son who will graduate next month as a pharmacist , im very proud of him.... from a long line of dr's (that's a joke,,more like farmers fishermen and butchers )

yesterday we went to planet fitness and i can still keep up with him,,,not cardio but weights i can still bench 325lbs..
although im feeling more aches and pains than i use to..
we love to play golf together,,,he is very good (5 handi-cap) and im a hacker,,,but like to play)


i think overall, the kids can be much better off with older parents,,,they are much more mature and have more patience.
i also would think young kids would be great for older parents to keep them young,,,,
i wished i had 12 kids...... i loved being a dad ...still do
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Old 04-11-2016, 06:49 PM
 
4,862 posts, read 7,945,756 times
Reputation: 5763
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbsteel View Post
I don't think its the norm, but I see a trend to older parents. I've met a lot of dads with young kids my age. In many cases, unlike me, its not the first kid though.... its the last


I'm 50, in pretty decent shape, my wife is 43, and we have 6 year old. Its my second marriage, and we got married later, so its just how it worked out.


When I walk in the school with other dads, I don't feel old at all. I could probably run rings around a lot of them. Sure, when he is a senior, I will be in my 60s, but there are a few things I can control so I at least don't act like the old guy in the room.


He's an only child. the only thing I think about is him being alone when we are gone, but we will do the best we can till then.
Get a 30 year term policy and a trust. Give the kid money at say 20, 25 and 30 if you kick the bucket. Teach him money management and survival skills while your alive. In short enjoy life and prepare.
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Old 04-11-2016, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Montana
387 posts, read 552,060 times
Reputation: 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
The mayo clinic puts it at 40% at 40 and 50% at 45. So yes, I was wrong, it is higher.

Miscarriage Risk factors - Mayo Clinic
That's miscarriage - not Down Syndrome. Just clarifying because the response post seems misleading with my part pasted in.

Many women have risks for miscarriage - if they want to continue with the attempts at pregnancy it is really their business.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
The risks of autism and other birth problems just keep going up and up with age but it's her choice. *shrug*

Just think long and hard about it when you are 67 they're still in highschool and neither of you might still be around. At some point, you have to ask if the risks are fair to the kid.
The link to autism and age is interesting. You also have a slightly higher risk if you are too young and get pregnant, or if there is a gap between partners in age, even in your 20 and 30s. They also ask in the study about the access to prenatal care and what effect that has, while reminding readers of the study that autism is still a very rare disease across the world (even though the media paints it as being very prevalent).

It is just amazing how concerned people are about everyone else's healthcare decisions these days. I say this as a medical provider. The moral hegemony is incredible.
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Old 04-12-2016, 07:58 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,355,889 times
Reputation: 41482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
Just think long and hard about it when you are 67 they're still in highschool and neither of you might still be around. At some point, you have to ask if the risks are fair to the kid.

Exactly. There is a poster here on CD who is in their late 60s raising twins and they are now 14. They are moving into a retirement community with those teenagers.
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Old 04-12-2016, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,164 posts, read 27,162,102 times
Reputation: 10428
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
The risks of autism and other birth problems just keep going up and up with age but it's her choice. *shrug*

Just think long and hard about it when you are 67 they're still in highschool and neither of you might still be around. At some point, you have to ask if the risks are fair to the kid.
I have an uncle who became a father (not his first) at age 54, and that kid has autism. Now he's 70 with all the issues his son has, plus raising a now 5 year old grandson from a daughter from a previous marriage. Not a well thought out plan...
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Old 04-12-2016, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,352 posts, read 2,816,019 times
Reputation: 10348
Same thing happened to my dad..second marriage and had two kids at 57 and one at 60.. his wife was 45 with that last kid...We thought he was nuts..the youngest boy has autism and he was a HANDFUL to raise..my father developed Dementia and went down hill FAST. ..GUESS who wasn't there to help when they put him in a nursing home and threw him away...? He was too old and sick. .(plus his wife had her own minor in comparison health issues by then..). for them to be bothered with...Made me sick...still does...When he passed away they never even came to the hospital....

I think JJ is out of her mind. ..I dreamed I was pregnant the other night and thank GOD I woke up... what a nightmare...
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Old 04-13-2016, 11:45 AM
 
78,013 posts, read 60,221,209 times
Reputation: 49404
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
im 51 and have a 23 yr old son who will graduate next month as a pharmacist , im very proud of him.... from a long line of dr's (that's a joke,,more like farmers fishermen and butchers )

yesterday we went to planet fitness and i can still keep up with him,,,not cardio but weights i can still bench 325lbs..
although im feeling more aches and pains than i use to..
we love to play golf together,,,he is very good (5 handi-cap) and im a hacker,,,but like to play)


i think overall, the kids can be much better off with older parents,,,they are much more mature and have more patience.
i also would think young kids would be great for older parents to keep them young,,,,
i wished i had 12 kids...... i loved being a dad ...still do
But you were 28 when he was born, you aren't an *older parent*.

About 7 in 20 males age 51 make it to 74.

I think anyone that is 50ish and isn't contemplating that they might not be alive to see their kids 25th birthday is being a little naïve and may also not understand the impact on the survivor to raise the kids alone. (I'm a widower, I learned the lesson the hard way in my 30's)

A lot of people around age 50 are still "bullet proof" as they usually haven't had mortality run roughshod through their peer-group yet.
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