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Old 04-29-2016, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,037,824 times
Reputation: 51113

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Goochgirl, I know that your father is dead, but do you have any relatives anywhere? Perhaps, an aunt or a sister or a cousin or a good friend who live in another city? Can you visit them for a while to give you time to "get your head" straight?

I wish you well.
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Old 04-29-2016, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,037,824 times
Reputation: 51113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
There are shelters for women with children. Get to one. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
If you don't know the number for local resources, call the national domestic abuse hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

They should be able to refer you to local resources.

Here are the state hotlines.

Domestic Violence - State Hotlines - Feminist Majority Foundation

You can call the one for your state.

Use the phone rather than email if you think he knows how to access your email.
Good ideas.
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Old 04-30-2016, 10:20 PM
 
325 posts, read 227,715 times
Reputation: 226
I do have a mom but all she cares about is her boyfriends other than that no. Also I don't park my kids in front of TV all day I play outside with them or they are beside me constantly. I tried really hard not to fight today but he got mad blamed getting in fight on me like usual I just can't take my life anymore I wish I would've died instead of my dad anyway try again tomorrow
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Old 05-01-2016, 07:18 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,086,827 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by goochgirl View Post
I do have a mom but all she cares about is her boyfriends other than that no. Also I don't park my kids in front of TV all day I play outside with them or they are beside me constantly. I tried really hard not to fight today but he got mad blamed getting in fight on me like usual I just can't take my life anymore I wish I would've died instead of my dad anyway try again tomorrow
I know it seems impossible at the moment, but no one can change this but you. You need to change things for your children. So, what's your plan? Your kids are old enough to be in school, so you ought to be able to get a job and start saving money to move out.
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Old 05-01-2016, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Gorgeous South Florida
499 posts, read 583,421 times
Reputation: 749
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I know it seems impossible at the moment, but no one can change this but you. You need to change things for your children. So, what's your plan? Your kids are old enough to be in school, so you ought to be able to get a job and start saving money to move out.
Exactly! I know you say that your kids are always with you, but at 6 and 8 - aren't they in school all day or do you homeschool? If they're in school, you need to go and get a job ASAP. It will get you out of house, improve your confidence level and self-esteem, and help you save up some money to move out. YOU CAN DO THIS and you deserve a better!
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Old 05-01-2016, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,037,824 times
Reputation: 51113
Quote:
Originally Posted by goochgirl View Post
I do have a mom but all she cares about is her boyfriends other than that no. Also I don't park my kids in front of TV all day I play outside with them or they are beside me constantly. I tried really hard not to fight today but he got mad blamed getting in fight on me like usual I just can't take my life anymore I wish I would've died instead of my dad anyway try again tomorrow
I know that you are devastated over the death of your father, but it will get better.

Please get counseling for your grief and for everything else going on in your life. Contact one, or some, of the hotlines or other services that people have suggested to you.

As, others have mentioned, going back to work could help in many ways. It would get you out of the house and away from your controlling BF, help you rebuild your poor self-esteem, and help you earn money.

But isn't the apartment lease in your name and aren't you paying all or most of the bills already? And, isn't it your car, too? So, it isn't a typical situation where the GF/wife is at home without any assets and she has to save money so that she can move out to her own apartment. You can insist that your BF move out and have the locks changed to prevent him from returning. Counselors from a battered women's shelter can give you more information on what you can do to keep safe.

Please do not allow your BF access to the money that you earn from your new job. Perhaps, it can be direct deposited in an account in your name only at a different bank. Since, your BF does not have a car there is no way that he can even drive over to the bank to attempt to get the money. Heck, do not even tell him the name of the bank.

Frankly, your BF should never of had access to the money that you inherited from your dad. If there is any inherited money left, please put it your name in that far away bank, too.

I really wish you luck and I want you to be safe.
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Old 05-05-2016, 02:12 AM
 
Location: United States
421 posts, read 326,943 times
Reputation: 280
Quote:
Originally Posted by goochgirl View Post
The have a really nice size bedroom. They have really nice seperate beds, dressers etc. and I did make it where she has a half and he has a half of room, tv on center wall. My bf is the one who wants to have us sleep in liv rm. It is a lot cooler down there. Plus right now I have no privacy anyway. When I go to bathroom kids will walk in, same w/ my bedrm. It doesn't matter if I am getting dressed. We are always telling them not to come in unless they are told they can. So if we sleep downstairs they will both sleep in bed rooms upstairs so I may have more privacy. Our bedroom door doesn't lock and when you close it there is still a small gap. It doesn't shut all way. We want landlord to fix it. I don't believe in punishing them for things except if they get hurt or are hurting each other, I do tell him I don;t want to hear the tattling for small things like that.
Hi a lock on your bedroom door is important imo for privacy and private times if the kids need you they can knock on the door. your Landlord should give you a doorknob with a lock on the inside only. It's nice your son wants to play with his sister so much but he needs to be taught that sometimes if she wants to play by herself it's okay and he can do something by himself like coloring , Legos , watching a different tv play outside etc .Just some suggestions for you If they still sell Parenting magazine or have a website check them out for help.your bf should not be doing different parenting then you whoever does the parenting of the kids in the situation it needs to be final and then next time him or you can do the parenting etc. You both need to except whatever parenting decisions was done at that time. Him or you need to not get involved in the others parenting unless there was something bad done like abuse etc .
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