Does it seem to you that a lot of parents use their kids going to preschool as a status symbol? (smart, son)
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To whoever posted this question to my reputation page, I can't respond via DM, etc...because you posted the comment anonymously:
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most of my friends in NJ are SAHM's, not sure why you think it's especially hard make enough money in NJ so your wife can be home with the kids???
There's an awful lot of variables in there including where you live in the state, what you do for a living, etc...but at least in our case it's not possible. I make $70K a year-that's not enough to support a family of four in NJ, even with no daycare/preschool costs. At least in our situation, we currently spend about $15K per year on daycare and preschool, so I would need at least a $30K bump in gross salary in order to make up the difference if my wife stopped working. $100K/year jobs don't just grow on trees around here. That's not a good or bad thing, it's just the way things are.
Last edited by Badfish740; 05-02-2016 at 08:35 AM..
I got one of those anonymous comments on my reputation page too:
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just to give you an idea about other areas - I live in Houston, most preschools here teach a foreign language and learn basic sign language while singing. So your NYC experience isn't particularly unique.
I never said it was unique, it was just my experience. I am much happier living in Florida where the cheaper COL has enabled me to keep my daughter home with me. I agree with Badfish 740, it depends on many factors, but its financially difficult to be a SAHM, especially in areas where the COL is high like NYC area/NJ/CT. Again, not trying to brag or start a debate, just relaying my own personal experience on the matter. Every situation is unique and parents have to do what's best for their family.
I never said it was unique, it was just my experience. I am much happier living in Florida where the cheaper COL has enabled me to keep my daughter home with me. I agree with Badfish 740, it depends on many factors, but its financially difficult to be a SAHM, especially in areas where the COL is high like NYC area/NJ/CT. Again, not trying to brag or start a debate, just relaying my own personal experience on the matter. Every situation is unique and parents have to do what's best for their family.
Exactly, my point was simply that someone with a chip on their shoulder could argue it either way, because ultimately their goal is to get under the other person's skin. I consider my kids (and my wife) incredibly lucky because arguably get the best of both worlds, being in school 9 months of the year and being home with mom for the summer.
Around here it's the opposite. The school where my daughter goes has some very affluent families, and they all pride themselves on NOT having to send their children to preschool, because their husbands make so much money that they can stay home with their children and teach their kids their letters while the maid cleans, the cook cooks, and then the nanny takes over while mommy goes to the gym.
They think preschool is for kids with moms who are so ugly they can't land a real man, so they have to work. It's like a reverse status symbol.
Around here it's the opposite. The school where my daughter goes has some very affluent families, and they all pride themselves on NOT having to send their children to preschool, because their husbands make so much money that they can stay home with their children and teach their kids their letters while the maid cleans, the cook cooks, and then the nanny takes over while mommy goes to the gym. Preschool is for kids with moms who are so ugly they can't land a real man, so they have to work. It's like a reverse status symbol.
That sounds awfully extreme and not really representative of what I'm talking about. One of the stay-at-home-moms my wife knows has a husband who is an engineer so his salary allows her to stay home-no nannies, cooks, or maids.
That sounds awfully extreme and not really representative of what I'm talking about. One of the stay-at-home-moms my wife knows has a husband who is an engineer so his salary allows her to stay home-no nannies, cooks, or maids.
I was responding to the OP, not to your post. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I didn't mean to imply that your wife's friend was like that. Just some of the moms I know.
It's that way in our city. There seems to be a "my child is more smart/social than yours because MY child goes to preschool and yours doesn't" type of mentality, plus there is the status symbol of parents who brag about paying tuition.
When our son was 2-1/2, the school psychologist indicated that he was almost kindergarten level academically. I take him out at least 5x/week to places where he is exposed to hours of socialization with other kids (parks, library, Lego kids club, indoor play areas, etc). I plan to enroll him in Pre-K early next year.
Never heard of this. It's a mini-status thing in my area as to where your kid goes to pre-K (and I'm sure K-12 as well).
In my experience, kids go to preschool at four. It's just what they do. We don't have a large variety of preschool options so it's not a competition.
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