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Old 04-25-2008, 09:05 AM
3,084 posts, read 6,467,409 times
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Originally Posted by jco View Post
Thanks for all the advice! As an update, we didn't stop getting him in the apartment, which we ended up in for over two months. My son had a seizure from high fever one night, and he slept with us for several nights until his fever was gone. From then on we spent literally hours putting him to bed. We're in our new house now, and my son absolutely refuses to sleep. He cried it out one night, and it took nearly three hours. I've tried to go in, comfort, and leave, but that's just a dance that goes on all night for him. Also, he's dropped his nap. The lack of sleep has made him (and me) a complete zombie. We took him to the doctor, and there's nothing wrong. He's cutting some teeth, but medicine and teething tablets don't work for him. Any additional advice?
There's more than one thing to consider here, but it really boils down to one thing: self soothing.

All children need to feel safe and secure and they all need to be able to soothe themselves and comfort themselves when 'stuff' happens. Often times it is the parents that are doing the soothing when there are unusual needs such as high fevers, illness, scary sounds or dreams, as it well should be.

However once that intitial problem is solved, they should be able to work it out themselves for normal things. For some it's a breast/bottle/pacifier/thumb process. For others it's a 'lovey' like a blanket/pillow/stuffed animal/toy/clothing, etc. Then there's the external things like noise makers/night lights/ceiling fans/radio/TV.

Each child will usually prefer something that gives them great comfort from either the texture, the smell or the sound. So try to replace you being there with one of these things of choice. For instance if he really seems to like a certain teddy bear, carry it around with you where ever you go for a while and hand it to him whenever he starts to get upset or tired. be sure to hold onto it yourself some too so it absorbs your scent.

Then, at night when he gets upset or restless, place it so he can cuddle it close and sit beside him while he does. Maybe tell him that teddy needs to be cuddled, letting him be the one to soothe teddy, which it turn soothes him. Each time he awakens, help him find teddy and cuddle. Soon enough he will be able to do this on his own, whether it's a teddy bear, his blanket or even music he can turn on himself.

Another thing to considerr, is that all kids go through phases of needing less/more sleep. This may be his phase of needing less sleep, so he is waking up and simply doesn't feel sleepy, especially if he's cut out his nap. Many parents tend to think if their child has stopped napping they will sleep longer at night, and that's not the case at first for most of them.

Instead they sleep for several hours and then wake up, feeling as if it was just an extra long nap. Then they want to be awake for awhile before they need to go back to sleep. During this time it's best for parents to just relax and go with the flow, understanding it's a phase only. During this phase it may work better to keep them up later and expect them to be up earlier than usual for a while until their body adjusts to sleeping only once, but for a much longer time period. Or you can just accept the changes, expect it and not let it stress you out since it will be over shortly.

It's more about learning what works for your child instead of what 'you' need and accepting that you will be sacrificing sleep to get there, just as you did when they were babies.
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Old 04-25-2008, 10:52 AM
Location: Hillsborough
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My daughter is 23 months old. She still wakes every night around 1am and I go in and bring her into bed with me. This is not a problem for me now, so I don't worry about it yet.

When I decide to try to get her to stay in her bed all night though, here is what I will do: I will sleep on the floor in her room for a little while. Then when she wakes up, she will see that I am right there, and I will soothe her back to sleep in her own bed, and go back to sleep on the floor so she will know I'm right there. I anticipate that this will break the cycle of her waking in the night fairly untraumatically. Once she is not waking at night, I will move back into my bed. It may take a little longer, and be a little less comfortable (I think I will put a twin mattress on the floor though), but I do NOT believe in letting her "cry-it-out".
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Old 04-25-2008, 11:18 AM
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,899,868 times
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My daughter's BOTH still do not sleep through the nights.... my almost 6 year old has been a terrible sleeper from the beginning and her sister is following right in her footsteps.
We have tried EVERYTHING and I have read every book,tried every method,listened to suggestions.... . and of course tried what we thought was best for us and nothing has worked.

We have a bedtime routine that we pretty much stick to for fear of inconsistency making things worse... there isn't a lot of stress going on for them,etc...
They just apparently don't require much sleep..
In the meantime, both my husband & I are completely sleep deprived and keep thinking that this has to end-eventually ?? ....

Good Luck, I hope that your sleepless nights end soon.
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Old 04-25-2008, 09:58 PM
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Have you tried a box fan on low for some "white" noise? Maybe that would help.
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Old 04-26-2008, 07:21 AM
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,576 posts, read 42,741,316 times
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You must let him know you mean it, and this means it will involve some crying. You go through your bath, story, or whatever you routine is, and put him to bed. When he cries you go in an comfort him, but do not pick him up. Tell him good night again and leave the room. Subsequent times, do not speak, just give him a pat, pat and leave. He will no doubt scream bloody murder, but eventually will give up. As soon as you give in, you will be doomed to start over.
I'd slip a note under the doors of all my neighbors apologizing profusely for the fact that, for the next few nights your child will be adjusting to his new surroundings in a loud way, you're very very sorry for the inconvenience, but it can't be helped.
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Old 04-26-2008, 12:53 PM
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When I worked at a day care i worked with the toddlers and the way we soothed them to sleep was by burning a CD that was filled with calming songs such as Rock-A-Bye baby, some christian songs and others and playing them on a CD player. After a while they calm down and fall asleep and you can sneek in and turn it off after they are asleep. It actually works pretty well.
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Old 04-26-2008, 06:54 PM
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I think a few of my kiddos went through a little phase of sleeping in our room, on the floor (on a crib mattress) around the age of your boy. It didn't last long and we all got our sleep. After a while, they just started staying in their bed all night. All of my kids are good sleepers now.

Your son has been through two moves, and he's teething too. If it was me, and none of us were getting sleep, I'd just let him sleep in my room (bed or floor) for awhile till things settle down. IMO, the stress isn't worth it at the moment.
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Old 04-29-2008, 10:42 PM
Location: home
180 posts, read 550,155 times
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Originally Posted by jco View Post
We're living in an apartment for the first time while we look for a house. Somehow along the way, my son has learned that we will come and get him when he fusses because we don't want the neighbors to hear him crying. Now he wakes up about two hours after we put him down and won't go back to sleep unless he's rocked or comes to bed with us. We don't want him in bed with us; he wakes us up several times a night, and we've gone three nights without much sleep. He's almost two and shouldn't need to be rocked throughout the night.

How on earth do you get a toddler to sleep through the night when you can't let him cry or fuss? All our neighbors don't have kids and don't understand!
my husband and i recently moved into an apartment to save money we have two kids and since we have moved ( about 3 months ago) my toddler doesnt want to sleep in her own bed, or room for that matter. she knows that we dont like for her to " throw her raging fits" so we do whatever is necessary to calm her and yes most of the time we go and get her. does your child seem afraid of the noises coming from the other tenants? my toddler is terified by every noice she hears even if its just walking from the apartment above us.
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Old 04-30-2008, 07:24 AM
11,290 posts, read 16,814,885 times
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Regimented sleep training worked for us. You check on them in time intervals.

We were in an apartment and I bought some acoustic foam and mounted it on homosote board to deaden the sound to one neighbor. They never complained but then again they did move out before we did.
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