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Old 02-14-2008, 02:36 AM
jco jco started this thread
 
Location: Austin
2,120 posts, read 5,867,761 times
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We're living in an apartment for the first time while we look for a house. Somehow along the way, my son has learned that we will come and get him when he fusses because we don't want the neighbors to hear him crying. Now he wakes up about two hours after we put him down and won't go back to sleep unless he's rocked or comes to bed with us. We don't want him in bed with us; he wakes us up several times a night, and we've gone three nights without much sleep. He's almost two and shouldn't need to be rocked throughout the night.

How on earth do you get a toddler to sleep through the night when you can't let him cry or fuss? All our neighbors don't have kids and don't understand!
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Old 02-14-2008, 04:56 AM
 
Location: UK
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I really feel for you.
We live in an apartment and I had the same worry when my last child was born 10 months ago. Here in Spain new constructions have very thin walls. Thankfully though people tend to be very patient with children and I was able to regulate the baby sleep pattern quite easily.
In your case it does not help that your neighbours have not children of their own.

Nevertheless it is important for your well being as well as for your child that you can sort out this situation.
Children are a great blessing but they have the ability to understand immediately our weaknesses and use them in their favour.
Probably just a couple of evening when you let your son cry without going to him would be enough to reestablish his routine.

I wonder if you could go around your neighbours explaining the situation and asking them to bare the noise for a few evenings. Buy and give them ear plugs to show that you sympatize with them. Maybe you can will need some yourself too. It is hard to listen to your child cry and not go to him but sometimes we need to do hard things for their long term good.

After all everybody is going to benefit if your son stops the regular evening crying, including the neighbours.

GOOD LUCK

Last edited by hutch5; 02-14-2008 at 05:09 AM..
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Old 02-15-2008, 05:18 AM
 
Location: Happy in Utah
1,224 posts, read 2,944,919 times
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Iwas stressed out for the first year when we moved to an apartmenat in NY. I never slept, finally my mother said let him cry what are they going to do throw you out because the child is crying.People really do not care about your child crying. Thankfully we are now in Utah where almost everyone is very tolerant of kids not saying they were not in NY its just eaiser hear. Good Luck and really do not stress about the situation.
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Old 02-15-2008, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Texas
690 posts, read 2,357,249 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jco View Post
All our neighbors don't have kids and don't understand!
I really don't get people like that. My boss has no children either and doesn't really understand kid issues that come up with me and my coworkers sometimes. I've actually said to him - Dude, you were a child once yourself - don't you remember, even slightly, that things DO happen? Kids get sick. They cry. They have issues! They're KIDS! (I feel like adding "jackass!" onto that, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea. LOL!)
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Richmond, VA
2,301 posts, read 1,198,798 times
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We had the same situation, but we just let them cry it out. It takes 4-14 days to start a new habit and I figured it was better to have them cry it out for a week rather than them fuss for a little bit everyday. Let him cry it out. If you feel the need you can talk to your immediate neighbors and warn them that the next few nights may be trying...and then they can decide if they want to go buy ear plugs or not.
Good luck. I was so happy when we get into our new home. Those 7 months in the apartment were so trying...(oh, and here is the other way I looked at it...no one had a problem being VERY noisy when my kids were napping...So, I learned not to have a problem when y children needed to cry it out)
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Arizona
667 posts, read 2,099,991 times
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Have you tried a noisemaker? My son slept with one on until about a year ago, he's almost 5 now.
It was a Revlon Light & Sound ball. There were the different noises to choose from, Waterfall, Rain, Beach, Heartbeat, Crickets, etc. Plus this one changed colors, too, so it doubled as a mild nightlight.
That really worked with keeping him down & we moved a few times while he was a little toddler.
Now he MUST have the fan on. Just for the noise, not the breeze! I must admit, I cannot sleep in dead silence, either, we use a fan, too!
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 11,132,389 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by collected_eve View Post
Have you tried a noisemaker? My son slept with one on until about a year ago, he's almost 5 now.
It was a Revlon Light & Sound ball. There were the different noises to choose from, Waterfall, Rain, Beach, Heartbeat, Crickets, etc. Plus this one changed colors, too, so it doubled as a mild nightlight.
That really worked with keeping him down & we moved a few times while he was a little toddler.
Now he MUST have the fan on. Just for the noise, not the breeze! I must admit, I cannot sleep in dead silence, either, we use a fan, too!
I was going to suggest the noise maker as well. I'm 27 and have slept with one my entire life (as has my entire family). Chances are if your neighbors could hear your son, your son can hear those neighbors! I have this one
Sleep Mate 580 by Marpac Sound Screen - All Marpac White Noise Machines Sound Screen Sleep Mate Marsona - SM580
It doesn't make the fancy noises, but it does have a fan-like sound.
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Old 02-15-2008, 02:29 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,253,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jco View Post
We're living in an apartment for the first time while we look for a house. Somehow along the way, my son has learned that we will come and get him when he fusses because we don't want the neighbors to hear him crying. Now he wakes up about two hours after we put him down and won't go back to sleep unless he's rocked or comes to bed with us. We don't want him in bed with us; he wakes us up several times a night, and we've gone three nights without much sleep. He's almost two and shouldn't need to be rocked throughout the night.

How on earth do you get a toddler to sleep through the night when you can't let him cry or fuss? All our neighbors don't have kids and don't understand!
What is wrong with still rocking him to sleep? If that works & allows your son & you to get some sleep, why not stick with it? You are not starting any bad habits or teaching him any bad habits. If anything, you are comforting him while he adjusts to living in a new environment.

He is also at the age where letting him cry it out may be necessary. Going to him every time he cries only teaches him that crying gets mommy & daddy back in the room.

How long have you been in an apt? Let him get adjusted. This may take up to 3-4 weeks. When we moved into our home this past fall from an apt, it took my som a good 3 weeks to fall asleep & sleep through the night. He needed to get use to the home & feel safe.

My husband was deployed to Iraq & I was teaching & we were living in an apt with an infant (those next to us & below us did not have kids). I had to get some sleep & could not run to him every time he cried. I worried b/c of neighbors but there is only so much practicality to this when living in an apt. Apt living comes with noises. Have you tried explaining your situation to neighbors? You are not being rude but you are raising a child!

We are strong oppponents of having our children sleep with us. But I stopped rocking my 2 1/2 yr old b/c we had our second child. No issues; he falls asleep unassisted & sleeps through the night.
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Old 02-15-2008, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,455,862 times
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We just went through this last week. Our daughter is 22 months old. She was sick for about a week...so she would wake in middle of the night and vomit...and I would get her, clean her and semi clean up her room and just bring her in bed with me...When they are sick, everyone is just lacking sleep and I do what I have too so my family still can function...andway, after the sickness passed she fell into the habit of waking and me coming in to get her...Well, I had to break that habit.

The first night, she woke up and yelled for me for 2 hours. Not crying just yelling mom. My husband got up and held her on the couch and they both slept there. BIG MISTAKE. The next night we developed a plan of action. We decided that when she wakes we would wait 5 mins and go in and soothe her. We vowed not to pick her up and rock her. Just go in and comfort quickly and leave...and of course after that she cried. The I waited 10 mins. went in and did the same thing. She is in a toddler bed so she can (and did) get out of bed. When she did that, I went in and took her hand and took her too her bed. Picked her up and told her it was bed time and put her back in bed...

Point is...let them cry for a few, go in and soothe. Don't pick them up. Wait a bit longer and go in and soothe....

It took us a good 4 days to break her of that habbit...and it is not easy. She is not totally back to normal yet...

She now wakes at about 11 each night...She grumbles for about 4 mins...but if she were to go for 5, I would go in and comfort and walk out...wait 10 mins go in and comfort and walk out. wait 15 mins go in and comfort...then wait 15 mins each time after that....
Your neighbors are just going to have to deal...
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Old 04-24-2008, 11:37 PM
jco jco started this thread
 
Location: Austin
2,120 posts, read 5,867,761 times
Reputation: 1389
Thanks for all the advice! As an update, we didn't stop getting him in the apartment, which we ended up in for over two months. My son had a seizure from high fever one night, and he slept with us for several nights until his fever was gone. From then on we spent literally hours putting him to bed. We're in our new house now, and my son absolutely refuses to sleep. He cried it out one night, and it took nearly three hours. I've tried to go in, comfort, and leave, but that's just a dance that goes on all night for him. Also, he's dropped his nap. The lack of sleep has made him (and me) a complete zombie. We took him to the doctor, and there's nothing wrong. He's cutting some teeth, but medicine and teething tablets don't work for him. Any additional advice?
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