Problem with my 16yo daughter, turning 17 in 2 wks. (average, support, toddler)
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Please.... I was a trouble teen as well...my behavior changed when I turned like 15. it got better by 18. My teachers thought too I might use drugs. But why expecting such bad things??? I never ever used drugs in my life, tried weed-yes but didn't like it. Drugs dont just change the behavior, but also the look, the clothes and the people you hanging out with. Even when you just used 'harmless' drugs like weed.
PLEASE.....
Changes in behavior is one of the 1st signs of drug abuse....It is a proven fact they have studied it over years of gathering data!
Is it the only reason that teens behave like this NO it is not. But it can be!
Also Pot is not a Harmless drug.
MYTH: You can't get addicted to marijuana.
FACT: Don’t be fooled by popular beliefs. Kids can get hooked on pot. Research shows that marijuana use can lead to addiction. Each year, more kids enter treatment with a primary diagnosis of marijuana dependence than for all other illicit drugs combined.
I have two teenagers, whew, the rages they can go into! Hormones, hormones, hormones. Hopefully (for all of us with teens!) it is a passing phase. I hope your daughter changed her mind and went on vacation with you. If not, hopefully she will have cooled down by the time you return.
I would also think about the possibility of her using drugs. sudden changes in grades and attitude signs..... They have home drug tests or have the dr do one on her when she goes to the dr.
I've been through the teenage years with my own kids and I've also been through drug situations. This does not sound like a drug situation to me, but rather a rebellion "power struggle" thing. I would not do the drug test at this time. If you are ever faced with a situation where your kids are on drugs, you will know it, and this isn't it. Good luck and God bless.
Changes in behavior is one of the 1st signs of drug abuse....It is a proven fact they have studied it over years of gathering data!
Is it the only reason that teens behave like this NO it is not. But it can be!
Also Pot is not a Harmless drug.
MYTH: You can't get addicted to marijuana. FACT: Don’t be fooled by popular beliefs. Kids can get hooked on pot. Research shows that marijuana use can lead to addiction. Each year, more kids enter treatment with a primary diagnosis of marijuana dependence than for all other illicit drugs combined.
Sorry but changes of the behavior and interest are totally normal in puberty and a part of their progress. You can see the difference between drug abusers and teens goin through some emotions. And yes weed can make you an addict, a mental one. Weed is not a physical addiction.
This woman knows her daughter very well. She did not fly off the handle at the mention that drugs could be a cause for this behavior....she did say however, that she knows that is not a factor right now. She has obviously considered this already. People who are trying to shove the "drugs" theory need to stop. She doesn't sound like a "not my daughter" type of mother. Sounds to me like the kid is being a normal teenage daughter who's pissed off about one thing or another - and mom is trying to give her a little space to deal with it - since she really doesn't have a good support system with the father. I think if she were to confront this kid about drugs now - she'd end up in an even bigger fight - and then she would lose some integrity with her daughter. And then where would she be? She's already got the ex who steps on her toes all the time - she needs to save some face with this kid right now or she'll only push her away - and THEN she just may end up dealing with a drug problem.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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Originally Posted by nic529
This woman knows her daughter very well. She did not fly off the handle at the mention that drugs could be a cause for this behavior....she did say however, that she knows that is not a factor right now. She has obviously considered this already. People who are trying to shove the "drugs" theory need to stop. She doesn't sound like a "not my daughter" type of mother. Sounds to me like the kid is being a normal teenage daughter who's pissed off about one thing or another - and mom is trying to give her a little space to deal with it - since she really doesn't have a good support system with the father. I think if she were to confront this kid about drugs now - she'd end up in an even bigger fight - and then she would lose some integrity with her daughter. And then where would she be? She's already got the ex who steps on her toes all the time - she needs to save some face with this kid right now or she'll only push her away - and THEN she just may end up dealing with a drug problem.
Hi gang and fellow parents. I am back from an unbelievably great time on the Gulf. Daughter did not come and we have not been in communication since Friday. My parents were VERY supportive and we actually had a better time than we would of with a moody teenager under foot. My daughter missed out on an incredible experience. I am sooo very happy for my parents and their beautiful retirement. My dad has cancer, but is still kicking, although he is in more pain than he would admit. I really concentrated on my roll as their daughter, they are 69 and 66 years old; I loved helping them, going for walks with them and just listening to them and how they treat each other.
This is sort of off topic, but this entire trip was four separate flights for me, with short lay-overs and when I finally landed at home I came to the conclusion that THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH JOY IN THE WORLD. I am not one of these crazy smiley people that talks to EVERYONE, but if you sit down next to me at the gate I will tell you what a beautiful child your granddaughter is. Or I will let you in front of me because you are a cute couple, or I will help you get your bag in the over head and smile a little joke......what did I get? Crickets. It was like the entire world was in a coma.
And that is where I will remain with my daughter, she KNOWS I am a joyous person and I will be patient and wait for her.
And no, it's not drugs. My vigilant monitoring of this kid is the equivalent of GPS with audio. It's not drugs. I'm going hormones and possibly insecurity and depression, but not drugs. She is upset about her weight and her boyfriend status and not being asked to the prom and is taking it out on everyone...including her best friend.
I want to thank everyone for participating in my thread. This is EXACTLY what is great about large forums like this.
This could very well be a simple case of teenage rebeiliousness. It may have nothing at all to do with drugs.
However, I must politely disagree with some of the opinions posted that testing your children for drugs is not worth the loss of trust it engenders.
Simply put, kids LIE about drug use. It is a proven fact that kids are EXTREMELY GOOD at hiding drug use from their parents up until the formation of an active addiction (addiction is what causes the warning signs most parents are told to look for...).
Sitting your kids down to talk about drug use is a very good thing. However, don't ever make the mistake of assuming that your child is going to tell you they are using drugs. I don't care how much you love your kids or how much they love you, history proves that the odds of them coming clean to you about drug use are slim to none. Why? Because the vast majority of children (even those who become rebellious) do not want to dissappoint their parents. History also proves that the parents of teens who develop an active addiction had no forewarning and no knowledge of drug use until the child was an addict.
Folks, I know what I'm talking about here. PLEASE believe that. Don't fool yourself and get caught up in the nightmare of having a child become an addict. Carol O'Connor (best known as Archie Bunker) put it best - "get between your kids and drugs ANY WAY YOU CAN".
Moderator cut: advertising not allowed
Please DO NOT think for an instant that I am using this thread solely to promote my company. My main reason for replying to this thread was the whole "don't test your child because you lose their trust" issue. And I can't state it strongly enough; if you are a parent and you believe in this statement you HAVE NEVER dealt with the absolute nightmare of a child becoming an addict. I am NOT saying you are a bad parent or a bad person, only that this one viewpoint is WRONG. Please, if you disregard everything else I've said here, please, I BEG YOU consider this viewpoint very carefully. The stakes are simply too high.
MainStreet - I don't know if drugs have anything to do with your child's current situation. I honestly don't. I would, however, caution you to be very wary about fooling yourself into believing your child can't possibly be using drugs. The problem is that teens who don't fit into the social group they want to fit into often turn to drugs, either as a way to fit in, or as a way to cope. Moderator cut: advertising
After replying to this thread, my mind wandered to this story. I am the cop in this story and I thought this post might help protect me against any replies accusing me of hyjacking this thread for my own means. If you would like a small look into my reasons for forming the Child Drug Watch company, this is one which sticks out. Not the only one by a longshot, but still one that sticks with me to this very day. This story is true. The facts contained in it are true except that Steve's name was changed.
Steve’s Story
I’d like to tell you about someone I once met. His name is Steve - an 18 year old kid who had just travelled to NY from Michigan, where he grew up. He’s a likeable kid; kind, sincere, and caring. I talked with him for quite some time. Just a little time with Steve and you realize that he’s the type of person who sees other people as people – and not just as a means to an end as so many others do nowadays.
Steve grew up in the Michigan area, the son of a local general-practice doctor. While not ultra-rich, Steve’s family was at least two, if not three steps up the ladder from most, and his family never had to worry about their having an honest shot at life.
Steve is a bright kid – he scored well above average on the IQ test that no one wants to tell you is really an IQ test. He was a fast learner and had an appreciation for the classics and the arts, as well as a love of science. While his father’s path was medicine, Steve always believed his road would lead him into science and exploration. His grades were never a problem, and his social life was full and happy.
That’s the time, at age 11, that Steve started experimenting with pot. It wasn’t that Steve really needed anything to give him a lift – it was more because some of his friend’s were doing it. Harmless. Unfortunately, Steve loved the feeling marijuana gave him. Unfortunately, that feeling was not enough. He used pot occasionally with friends for a time, and then a little more frequently after a year. By the time he was 13 he was using pot regularly. You see, Steve was smart - even at age 13. His parents never had a single suspicion. Using pot for Steve didn’t mean getting stoned out of his mind all day, every day. He enjoyed it at the times he knew he could keep it from being discovered by his family – even his brother and sisters.
See, Steve wasn’t the stereotypical stoner-surfer boy we often see in movies – he was a pretty normal kid with normal interests. To meet him, it wouldn’t occur to you that he was a heavy, if responsible, marijuana user. Yes, responsible. Steve will tell you himself that he was very responsible with pot. He will also tell you that this responsibility stemmed from never allowing his family to discover this one small facet of his life.
It wasn’t until a little after Steve’s thirteenth birthday that things got a little less responsible. That was when he truly started to discover girls. That was when Steve tried ecstasy. Steve would be the first to tell you that if you can get a hold of pot, you can get a hold of X. And X is known as the sex drug. After his experience with pot, Steve had no problem trying ecstasy. It heightens the senses, and makes touching so much more intimate that it is almost divine. That’s when the bottom started falling out.
It wasn’t long after that that Steve was using ecstasy and other types of amphetamines on a regular basis, in addition to pot. By age 14 Steve had used pot, ecstasy, amphetamines, alcohol, and had graduated onto cocaine. From there, it was back and forth between them, and then onto crystal meth – which was making a good stride in his area. By age 15 he’d had his first couple snorts of heroin, and was still switching back and forth from cocaine - when he could afford it, meth, ecstasy – and as always - pot. Before he’d reached his seventeenth birthday Steve was shooting heroin, using meth, cocaine, and whatever pills he came across. He also knew he was an addict.
When Steve reached 16 his family began to realize that the excuses just didn’t make sense anymore, and the pieces of the puzzle started coming together. Age 17 brought criminal charges, a couple of them serious. Shortly after he turned 18 his family cut him loose. Not out of a want to abandon him; they simply couldn’t deal with the failed therapy after failed therapy and came to the conclusion that they were hurting him more than helping him by allowing him to continue to stay – and thereby allowing him to sell off whatever in the house he could get his hands on to support his habit.
At age 18 Steve hit the streets where he began doing anything to survive, and also anything to support his habit. It wasn’t long before Steve was selling his body, and committing more crimes. The latter bothers Steve much more than the first – selling his body only hurt himself, while the crimes hurt others.
At age 18, after a little more trouble, Steve decided to move to New York with a friend. That’s when I met Steve. He’d only been here for four days. He was still the same happy-go-lucky kid I imagine his parents enjoyed while he was growing up. Without looking at the track marks on his arms you’d think he was the average high-schooler, ready to take on college – ready to put his ambitions to the test – ready to announce his presence to the world.
That’s the day I met Steve. That’s the day Steve went to a rave and did some heroin with his new-found friends. That’s the day Steve couldn’t wait for another shot and broke into a local business to steal anything he could find to sell for more drugs. That’s the day I arrested Steve for burglary.
Steve had a simple request of me - Use his story. You see, Steve’s path is now set. Too many arrests, too many convictions - too many of them serious. Steve’s path is now laid out before him, it’s a path into state prison – and he knows it.
I like to think back now and again and hope that when Steve gets out he’ll have been away from the drugs long enough to kick them out of his life forever. Unfortunately, I also know that this is a fool’s hope. I’ve seen too many - just like Steve. Too many lives and families ruined. Too many fighting a battle against themselves. Too many that don’t stand a chance.
The true hope is in Steve’s message; his request.
Do something with his story.
Steve, I’m trying…
(A name in this story has been changed to protect a decent, if mislead, person).
Last edited by vvincelli; 02-20-2008 at 12:26 AM..
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I was a trouble teen as well...my behavior changed when I turned like 15. it got better by 18. My teachers thought too I might use drugs. But why expecting such bad things??? I never ever used drugs in my life, tried weed-yes but didn't like it.
Drugs dont just change the behavior, but also the look, the clothes and the people you hanging out with. Even when you just used 'harmless' drugs like weed.
