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Old 02-14-2008, 09:10 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,208,907 times
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My youngest is 3, and in a 2 day program. Her teacher is not very warm and fuzzy. I mean we get there, and it's down to business and no, good morning, you look nice, etc. Today I witnessed that the teacher has favorites in the class. It bothered me. After they ate their special valentine's day lunch, teacher asked kids to sit on the floor in a circle and the ones that sat best got to get up and put in the val cards in the boxes for their friends. My child was one of the first to sit down and be still. The teacher made my child wait through 6 kids that weren't even sitting down, then my child got up, because the others weren't sitting down either. I told her to sit down and wait her turn, then after 2 more she was able to pass out her cards. My child got the message that it does not pay to follow directions...I got really upset about this because I know she got the wrong message. I told her after class that I was very proud of how she followed directions and how she behaved. Should I say something to the teacher?
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Old 02-15-2008, 06:53 AM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 3,452,143 times
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Unfortunately, that is life. Although most teachers can disguise it better than that, they all have kids that tug at their hearts a little more. My son has friends I like better than others. I don't mistreat the others but there are some that I just don't gel with. In this case, I would be afraid of making her mad and having her take it out on the child (which would not be good for her b/c you would be ready to kill her) so I would talk to the director. And don't take offense, but it could also be a personality conflict with you. Are you constantly complaining about stuff? If so, daycare teachers get tired of hearing it. They have other children that require the same time and energy as your child and there is only so much attention they can give to each child. You could have witnessed a bad day. I know my son was blessed to go to a great daycare and I was very careful not to complain about the stupid things (dirty clothes, a little dirt on his face, etc) b/c I know I couldn't do that job. I have to work and I had to rely on someone else to take of my child. Those people didn't come close to matching what I make salary wise. That's a stressful job for so little pay. Talk to the director and hopefully he/she should be able to help you.
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Old 02-15-2008, 10:32 AM
 
833 posts, read 4,369,988 times
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What a frustrating situation for you! I had a similar situation with a preschool that my 4 year old son was attending. He had two teachers that looked like the last place they wanted to be was at that school. Very distant, rarely a 'hello' in the morning at drop off time. I also witnessed some very callous behavior on their part that I won't go into here...
at any rate, I had gotten so frustrated at the the teachers' lack of enthusiasm, inconsistent teaching, and 'cold' attitudes etc. that I took my concerns to the director. She was very understanding, took my concerns very seriously, and spoke with the teachers 'anonymously' for me and trained them about developmentally appropriate behavior. Shouldn't they already know this??? They work at a preschool for goodness sake! Anyway, we have since moved out of state and have enrolled my 4 year old in a fabulous program where the teachers fall head over heels in welcoming my son into class everyday.
I wish you good luck with this. It's very difficult when you are teaching your child at home good manners, patience, appropriate behavior, then their teachers at school unknowingly undo it.
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Old 02-15-2008, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Richmond, VA
2,301 posts, read 1,188,872 times
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I probably wouldn't bring it up b/c that is how life works and that is a great lesson to learn. BUT, at that age following instructions are important and follow-through it important to. So, if you want to bring it up I would turn it into a favor so it is not accusing...
good luck. being a parent is hard. mine are 15 months old and I am NOT looking forward to the day I am in situations like this...It is easy to have an opinion on the outside looking in, but when it is your own child!
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Old 02-15-2008, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 11,119,300 times
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I would explain to your daughter that it is great that she sits and follows the rules even if her teacher takes a minute to get to her. That is a good lesson.
As for favorites, it may or may not be that. You can also consider that your eyes were on your daughter only and hers were on however many kids were in the class. She may not have seen/beeing looking at your daughter right away. Just something to consider. Also, when I worked at a daycare (with a BS, just over the summer) I made $5.75 an hour to care for 10 children for 8 hours a day. Not to get on a soap box, but we do pay even nail technicians more than daycare providers. We should still expect them to care for our children, but it is a very high stress job with very little pay and we can't expect them to be perfect every time.
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Old 02-15-2008, 02:30 PM
 
4,541 posts, read 9,495,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jessiegirl_98 View Post
I would explain to your daughter that it is great that she sits and follows the rules even if her teacher takes a minute to get to her. That is a good lesson.
As for favorites, it may or may not be that. You can also consider that your eyes were on your daughter only and hers were on however many kids were in the class. She may not have seen/beeing looking at your daughter right away. Just something to consider.
I totally agree here. As your child goes through her school career you are going to come across teachers YOU do not like, SHE does not like - the lesson to learn is that life is that way and you teach them how to be respectful and deal with people you don't always "get on" with. Someday she'll have bosses like that too.
Were you just in the classroom because it was a special day? Keep in mind, if that's the case, that you saw 1 day. She may have been off, stressed, who knows. I'm assuming you aren't in there every day - if so, that may be the problem.
I've got a teenager. We've been through good teachers and bad, warm and fuzzy and cold. It's hard when they've had teachers they've loved and then teachers they just don't gel with, but it makes for a great life lesson talk.
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Old 02-16-2008, 07:19 AM
 
1,035 posts, read 3,954,483 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by therewego View Post
After they ate their special valentine's day lunch, teacher asked kids to sit on the floor in a circle and the ones that sat best got to get up and put in the val cards in the boxes for their friends.
In addition to all these great responses, I'd like to add something. (I was a 2's & 3's MDO teacher). The-quietest-gets-to-go-next method doesn't work in this situation. It isn't reasonable to expect that age to sit for that long (maybe long enough to let kids line up one at a time or to get a treat). She should've had an activity going and pulled kids away one at a time to put the cards in the boxes. The teacher was seeing her plan unravel before YOUR very eyes! Someone said she probably needs more training and I bet this is the case.
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Old 02-16-2008, 05:11 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,208,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texastea View Post
In addition to all these great responses, I'd like to add something. (I was a 2's & 3's MDO teacher). The-quietest-gets-to-go-next method doesn't work in this situation. It isn't reasonable to expect that age to sit for that long (maybe long enough to let kids line up one at a time or to get a treat). She should've had an activity going and pulled kids away one at a time to put the cards in the boxes. The teacher was seeing her plan unravel before YOUR very eyes! Someone said she probably needs more training and I bet this is the case.
You make a good point...the other children are not ready to sit like that and the teacher probably expected too much from them. My child is a bit more mature than the other kids and the teacher has suggested to me that in next year's class she be placed in an older 4's class because she does have good attention span and can follow directions well. I will not be mentioning anything to the teacher about this. And, to address other posters, no, I don't complain all the time to her about things. If those people don't want to be doing that job they should not be doing it. I don't want to feel sorry for their situation just because it is a lot of work, I am paying for this service. And, yes, I specifically told my child after class that I was very proud of the way she was patient and waited her turn.
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Old 02-16-2008, 10:06 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,240,900 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by therewego View Post
My youngest is 3, and in a 2 day program. Her teacher is not very warm and fuzzy. I mean we get there, and it's down to business and no, good morning, you look nice, etc. Today I witnessed that the teacher has favorites in the class. It bothered me. After they ate their special valentine's day lunch, teacher asked kids to sit on the floor in a circle and the ones that sat best got to get up and put in the val cards in the boxes for their friends. My child was one of the first to sit down and be still. The teacher made my child wait through 6 kids that weren't even sitting down, then my child got up, because the others weren't sitting down either. I told her to sit down and wait her turn, then after 2 more she was able to pass out her cards. My child got the message that it does not pay to follow directions...I got really upset about this because I know she got the wrong message. I told her after class that I was very proud of how she followed directions and how she behaved. Should I say something to the teacher?
I'm a 7-12 grade teacher. Couldn't pay me enough to teach anything under fourth grade; very, very challenging. I always find it interesting to hear parents talk about teachers. I will leave it at that.

I am not saying you do not have a reason to be upset, but do wonder some things that have been posted already: How many time have you been in the classroom during teaching time? Why do you assume the teacher has favorites...is it just based on this experience? You went on a holiday...let me tell you..those are the worst days to be a teacher...the kids are hyper & the schedule & routine has been changed; therefore,they are all excited that something different is going on.

You do seem bothered by this teacher & her general demeanor. There is nothing wrong with telling her that you wish she'd show a softer side.

Some people teach who are not meant to & others are struggling with issues at home or with administration that unfortunately do carry over into the classroom. These are the teachers that need to be talked to.

That's great that you pay for your child's education, but teachers are people & they are not perfect. If you got a cold meal at a restaurant, would you not mention it to your waiter/waitress & expect them to take care of the situation?

I've never known a teacher to ask someone to feel sorry for them. 99% of them are underpaid & overworked & love their job. Teachers don't go into the profession for the pay or the compassion they get from administration and/or parents. Give me a class of 30 6th graders any day over 30 adults!!

Have you ever been a teacher? Do you smile & say hi to her when you drop off your child?

I don't see why you wouldn't mention the situation to the teacher b/c you are holding it against her & the next time she does something that upsets you, then it is going to seem very extreme.

Talk to your child's teacher. On the good days & bad days.
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Old 02-16-2008, 10:59 PM
 
Location: Denver
1,082 posts, read 4,213,046 times
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First of all, is this a choice placement or not?
Second, put it in terms of behaviors of your child--I notice my child responded to this situation this way.
Don't waste your breath pointing out favoritism; the worst offenders will deny it or not see it in themselves.
If the teacher's behavior really upsets the child, then be very firm about saying what needs to happen and why: you have to intervene and prevent this kids from doing this to my child. I actually had to tell a third grade teacher to prevent the other girls from harassing my daughter bec she was coming home from school in tears every day. Go figure, why wouldn't a teacher see this?
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