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The problem is also that depression is often associated with deeper psychological issues, any of which may have not yet been diagnosed. You simply can't take a chance when it comes to your child.
Had this conversation with my wife (and a few friends) recently. I dont think I am out of bounds in saying "ABSOLUTELY NO WAY!!!".
Two ladies I know offered their services to us but both are open about their battle with depression and having been prescribed anti depression meds. Both seem to be nice, but I cannot ever see under any circumstances to hire, even for a few hours someone who takes anti depression (prozac, zoloft, celexa, ritalin, etc.) pills.
Would any of you hire someone like this to care for your child(ren) 10 years old and under?
Yes, it wouldn't matter to me. Plenty of people are depressed.
Yes as a nanny, yes I would. I had an au pair for several years so am speaking from actual experience (though her mental status was never discussed and I had no reason to think she had issues).
I'd far rather a person whose integrity made them state they have depression than a depressed person who hid the fact. Revealing this was a choice, they could easily have hidden it. That says something about their openness and veracity.
Why would anyone be obligated to share their medical history????
As someone who came from a family with depression running through it, I would urge you to be very careful as to what you say as a depressive parent out loud in front of your children. The nurture aspect of depression - what we learn from what are parents say or do - is very underestimated in my opinion (but I'm not the only one to have this opinion - its just difficult to quantify so it is often glossed over). Genetic predisposition or not - what the depressive parent articulates and does can be very damaging, especially when children's nervous systems are growing and they are modeling parental behaviors, such as parental "solutions" to problems. The good news is - no one actually knows what is going on inside your head! They can only estimate that from what you say and what you do.. To use some extreme examples which probably don't apply to you but which get the concept across - your child never needs to hear that a possible solution to the way someone is feeling is "to kill themselves." They do not need to see that their parent is stuck indoors, alone or asleep in their bedroom, during the daytime for days or weeks on end. They do not need to hear the pessimistic opinion on what to do, or absolute negative statements regarding the future, or that there is "no point" to doing a, b or c. A child going through the modeling phase of development seeing and hearing these things will tend to swallow them - they can easily become part of the child and often will be. Its far, far, far easier to have your psychology develop in the right direction when young than it is to try to later "fix" it using years of therapy (which, in essence, tries to retrain your central nervous system).
The proactive depressed parent (slightly oxymoronic, I know) can help reduce all of the nurture aspects of depressive behavior on their children. This can be huge, since a genetic predisposition is just that - its not a life sentence its just a predisposition.
Well that was just weird. The nurture aspect of depression is to give voice to negative thoughts?
How on earth you found that weird I have no idea. Here it is in more simplistic terms - the two aspects to developing depressive behavior are the inherent genetic component (nature) and what you copy, as your grow, from those you whom model and learn behavior & thinking from in your family (nurture). The latter component (the nurture) from a depressive parent may be hard to distinguish from the nature. Oh that depressed father? Yes he had a depressed son - its genetic. Except..... it may not be. A child may have been inadvertently trained (their CNS, more specifically) to react in a "depressive" type manner from early on. Its been learned at the point where the nervous system is learning default behaviors and thinking. Setting them up for problems later in life. BUT, if parental depressive behavior is present when the child is growing, it can be reduced by redirecting that parental behavior (and "behavior" includes both physical actions and verbal actions). What you say - especially if it is a default thing that you say again and again - has a big impact on the growing child. Words do shape our thinking. And while the nature (the predisposition) can't be changed (at least not yet), the nurture aspect can definitely be diminished, if the "aware" depressed or depressive-tendency parent is careful with it. And what parent would want not want to reduce the chances of their child having depression later on?
I can't make it any simpler than that - sorry. We are talking about the trajectory the child takes, and that it can be shaped, its not predestined. Its entirely relevant here because we are talking about children in the care of depressed adults. Those raised by outwardly depressed adults, including adults who articulate out loud their depressive thoughts and worldviews, know what that means.
Why would anyone be obligated to share their medical history????
They don't have an obligation to that was exactly my point; (how did you not get that?).
That one would volunteer data that could possibly cost them the position, gives me the impression that they are forthcoming and honest.
Were I depressed I certainly wouldn't share the fact; I'm too self serving to say anything that may alter the other's perception of me; but the person in question cared more about honesty than self protection. Admirable trait.
How on earth you found that weird I have no idea. Here it is in more simplistic terms - the two aspects to developing depressive behavior are the inherent genetic component (nature) and what you copy, as your grow, from those you whom model and learn behavior & thinking from in your family (nurture). The latter component (the nurture) from a depressive parent may be hard to distinguish from the nature. Oh that depressed father? Yes he had a depressed son - its genetic. Except..... it may not be. A child may have been inadvertently trained (their CNS, more specifically) to react in a "depressive" type manner from early on. Its been learned at the point where the nervous system is learning default behaviors and thinking. Setting them up for problems later in life. BUT, if parental depressive behavior is present when the child is growing, it can be reduced by redirecting that parental behavior (and "behavior" includes both physical actions and verbal actions). What you say - especially if it is a default thing that you say again and again - has a big impact on the growing child. Words do shape our thinking. And while the nature (the predisposition) can't be changed (at least not yet), the nurture aspect can definitely be diminished, if the "aware" depressed or depressive-tendency parent is careful with it. And what parent would want not want to reduce the chances of their child having depression later on?
I can't make it any simpler than that - sorry. We are talking about the trajectory the child takes, and that it can be shaped, its not predestined. Its entirely relevant here because we are talking about children in the care of depressed adults. Those raised by outwardly depressed adults, including adults who articulate out loud their depressive thoughts and worldviews, know what that means.
So simple, it is a simplistic treatise of depression over the entire course of one's life.
how would I know. As long as they were goo with the children, their medical background isn't my business
Actually a persons medical background is your business if they are watching your child. What if they have severe diabetes and go into a diabetic coma when watching them? I can give a thousand examples, but someone who is taking depression meds or anti-anxiety meds obviously are taking them because they can't handle stress or daily life to some extent. If they need medicine to cope, I don't want them watching my children! What if they forget to take their meds or need a different dosage and does something irrational? I totally get there's many different reason why someone might be taking these types of meds. Heck it could be just because they are stressed over work, but these types of meds can also make someone very sleepy and could make them fall asleep when they should be watching my child. To me, it's just not worth risking my child's life over. My child's safety comes before hurt feelings of a babysitter! There are certain things I need to know and I don't think that's unreasonable.
Like I said above, there are many reasons to know someone's medical background if they are watching your child. Heck, my own mother had a severe heart attack a few years back and I tell my 12 year old what to do if something happens to grandma if I'm gone. Not any different!
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