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When you become a parent to your own child you'll realise it's not that you're creating the sort of person you want, you're unwrapping the person you've got.
If you want to get to know this child, see her more often than every two weeks, and don't oressure her when you're with her. Let her come to you. One trick is to sit down on the floor and read a children's book to yourself, out loud, but not too loud. Often a cautious child will inch closer to look.
Different personalities have different advantages. This isn't a child who'll be climbing into the gorilla enclosure, although she might drive her parents crazy with clinginess.
Kids go through stages where they're shy and fearful of strangers, or where they cling to one parent and ignore the other parent. Some toddlers also take a while to become comfortable in different surroundings. You may not be visiting with her long enough for her to feel comfortable exploring her surroundings. Depending on where you're visiting with her, it may not be childproofed and her parents may be hanging onto her so she doesn't get into things she shouldn't.
My nephew is about to turn one and he's very shy around me and doesn't want me to hold him. He likes his cousins and our pets and even my husband (who doesn't want to hold anyone else's baby, ever). I think he doesn't like me right now because I look and sound too much like his mommy and it confuses him.
As someone who was both a shy person in childhood and rearing a child who was shy, It takes a bit of prodding to overcome the social interaction dimension.
Its how the person is approached, leading them to water so to speak instead of throwing the water on their heads. I've seen the "forced" to be social aspect by some relatives and it rarely gets met with welcoming actions. I guided and learned to respect the persons space..
Part is the phase for the child to trust the environment and its part the environment warning the child. They are intuitive in nature and sometimes that needs to be respected.
19 month olds very commonly have high amounts of separation anxiety and stranger anxiety. Clingy toddlers are normal. A shy 19 month old who is grumpy with strangers is not something that sends up my "worry" flag. Especially if they are active and playful at home and with other kids.
At this age, things that send up worry flags are things like not talking at all or very few words, trouble with motor skills, or trouble with making eye contact or relating to caregivers (such as mom or dad). If you see any of those sorts of things, it might be worth bringing it up to mom and seeing what she says. They screen for those at well visits with the pediatrician too. But shyness and grumpiness? Nah, that's fine.
Ok, thanks. I'm not a parent. I don't know what's normal and at what age.
Ok, thanks. I'm not a parent. I don't know what's normal and at what age.
I am sure your concern is appreciated, but as all the posters have said the poor girl is not even 2. She is her own person and may not fit into normal. She probably isn't grumpy, just uncomfortable.
It is very hard even as a parent to have a child you don't fully understand. My son is this child. He is very introverted and doesn't like talking to strangers. Everyone else in our family is outgoing loves meeting new people, doing new things. He is completely the opposite. As a parent I have to understand him and let him be who he is and celebrate that!
Okay, it's not a bad thing to be shy. I can be pretty shy. What is concerning is how she seemed grumpy the entire time. I couldn't tell if it was because she is shy or if she doesn't like us. My mom is convinced she doesn't like her and is worried that she's not laughing and smiling like most toddlers. I think my mom is just concerned my niece will grow up to be rude and closed off. Every time I see my niece she seems unhappy but maybe she's just shy. I can't tell ya know?
My son is shy around people he doesn't see very often (like weekly). What may help for you is facetime. His aunt (who lives 1/2 way around the country) facetimes him once a week and talks to him on the phone every few days. He's not remotely shy around her (but is around other adults, even the grandparents he sees once or twice a month).
My 19 month old niece is terribly shy. My brother says she's loud and runs around the house when she's at home and she'll play with other kids. But when she's around other adults, she gets painfully shy. We had breakfast with her the other day and she wouldn't even look at us (everyone but my brother). I sat with her in the backseat to play with her but she just looked bored and grumpy the entire time. My mom sees her about every two weeks and she's still closed off to my family. When we're around she'll cling onto my brother and he can't even put her down. I hung out with them the whole day and I didn't see her smile or make a peep the entire time unless I wasn't around to see or hear it while my brother played with her. I asked what would happen if my brother put her down and let her cry. I don't know if that might be a bad thing since you don't want your kid to not trust you to be there for them at a young age. From what I hear she's very stubborn and has a bad temper.
My mom thinks my brother and his gf doesn't take my niece out enough and doesn't interact or read to her. I hear my niece's mom puts Sesame Street on the entire day and leaves her alone with the TV. She doesn't read to her, sing to her, play with her, take her to story time or the park.
I'm not the parent so there isn't much I can do. I'm wondering if my niece will grow out of this extreme shyness? I'm a bit worried about her if she doesn't grow out of it. Maybe she'll grow out of it when she's in school (dear God I hope the mom doesn't decide to home school her) and interact with teachers. The only thing I can do is try and understand her situation. Any insight is welcomed.
19 months is still a baby. Just leave her alone - she needs her parents; she doesn't need to interact with strangers or people she hardly knows. Let the parents raise their own children. In time she will probably become much less "shy." And do her and her parents a favor and don't use that word - it labels kids, and kids change a lot and often and don't need labels to hold them back.
Kids go through stages where they're shy and fearful of strangers, or where they cling to one parent and ignore the other parent. Some toddlers also take a while to become comfortable in different surroundings. You may not be visiting with her long enough for her to feel comfortable exploring her surroundings. Depending on where you're visiting with her, it may not be childproofed and her parents may be hanging onto her so she doesn't get into things she shouldn't.
My nephew is about to turn one and he's very shy around me and doesn't want me to hold him. He likes his cousins and our pets and even my husband (who doesn't want to hold anyone else's baby, ever). I think he doesn't like me right now because I look and sound too much like his mommy and it confuses him.
I noticed that with my sister's children, too.
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