Sending a kid to college? Be sure to MAKE them read this.

[jayrandom]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

whatever the reason it is definitely RAPE when somebody forces themselves on a person who has not given consent.

I totally agree. Rape isn't about the motives of the rapist but their actions and the consent of the attacked.

[Katarina Witt]

Originally Posted by strawflower

Here's my list I shared with my daughters -
Never leave your drink unattended.
Never drink anything unless you know exactly where it came from (i.e. unopened can/bottle).
Never go to a party or bar alone.
Never leave a friend behind.
Make sure you know where your friends are at all times (so that you don't get left behind).
Know where you are, know how to get home.
Make sure your cell is fully charged before you go out.
Always have your credit/debit card on you so you can get an Uber or cab if necessary. And always have some emergency cash in case the Uber or cab doesn't accept cards.
Don't go off alone with a boy, even if you're in the same house/area as the party.
Know your limit when drinking and how different types of alcohol affect you.
Don't drink on an empty stomach.

I think those are wonderful policies, but you can follow them all to a "T" and still get raped. I don't like promoting the idea that a woman got raped because her cell wasn't charged, for example. "Dates" (do kids date anymore?) involve going off alone with a boy (guy).

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by somebodynew

There was a side conversation on another board about not having to teach sons not to be rapists. But... who are these kids who are doing this with amazing regularity? They seem like normal kids on the outside. Is drinking too much the cause of what would otherwise be decent judgement? Not recognizing that the woman you are dragging behind the dumpster is out cold? But... does drinking allow you to do what you would not otherwise do? Like want to have sex with an unconscious person? When they wake up the next morning and realize that they dumped a woman behind a dumpster, what do they feel? I am guessing not, yah I scored last night. I'm guessing shame? I have a hard time reading the reports, so I don't know.

Obviously no shame....he allowed every sorry excuse to be used in his defense. Alcohol is not an excuse for doing something like this. Since when are people off the hook for manslaughter or vehicular homicide if they are drunk?

[trishguard]

Originally Posted by DubbleT

It's reprehensible this young woman was raped, but I'm also troubled by the fact that few people seem to see a huge problem with the fact that she drank so much that she put herself into a vulnerable position. And no, I'm not saying she 'asked for it' but she's lucky she's not dead, so many tragic things can happen to girls and guys when they are that drunk. I'm also disturbed that she blames it on "not factoring in that my tolerance had significantly lowered since college". It's not a case of maybe having one too many.
She didn't deserve to get raped but I think it's a bit of a double standard when a victim tries to use the defense of " I was too drunk to know what was going on" while crying foul when the perpetrator tries to use the same excuse

The victim shouldn't have to defend anything since she didn't harm anyone.