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Hi OP! I feel your pain... I hope you get alot of helpful feedback here; unfortunatley I can't offer any because I had to stop working 10 years ago to care for my autistic son.
The first clue when he was in daycare #1 was "Ummm, is he deaf?"
The second clue when he was in daycare #2 was "Ummm, is he deaf?"
I now exist at 200% below poverty level & mentioned the childcare situation on the Retirement sub-forum because, well, I'm 48, "the husband" is 60 & ... retirement???
Everbody told me I need to find childcare so I can go back to work.
In February we participated in a massive interview with a social services agency as my son had just been approved for a state waiver for support services.
During the last home visit the caseworker sat quietly flipping through our paperwork.."So, as it stands right now, since you became the primary caregiver: ADL support is...you?"
"Yes."
"Safety support is...you?"
"Yes."
"Physical support is...you"
"Yes".
And on. And on....
I had to laugh when she ended up "bribing" me with butt wipes in exchange for my promise to look into respite care!
"If I can get you wipes delivered to your front door will you at least tour ___ Place? Because I don't know as how what you are doing is humanly possible!"
Nobody gets this. My son started middle school last year; new school, new teachers & we were STILL having issues with getting him "settled in" in May. I was called to the school EVERY week all year long.
I made many trips on my own to the school when he didn't even know I was there so I could observe & possibly identify some unknown "triggers".
Some weeks they HAD to call me up to 3 times a week as his meltdowns made it unsafe to ride the transportation "support" (short bus!) home.
Ooh! Thought of something else. JerZ, you should be able to claim some of your childcare costs on your taxes. I think it's $3,500 a year? Something like that. Your out-of-pocket costs will be higher than that, but when we stopped using daycare we definitely felt the hit in our tax return.
The school districts in my area provide free child care to all children with moderate and severe special needs, during school hours, on days that the school has shortened days due to curriculum development. The care is provided by the handicapped children's aides that know and work with the students everyday and it is held right in the classroom or a therapy room. This service is provided to school age children (to age 21) in those programs. This does not cover things like snow days, but those pesky 1/2 or 3/4 days held every two weeks or once a month that really goof up a working parents schedule. BTW, the special needs teachers are required to make lesson plans for the aides to follow with appropriate social or leisure time activities.
There is a state program that provides a certain amount of paid child care, in the home or in the community, to special needs children and adults per week. It is designed for lower income families. Quite a few of the handicapped children's aides do extra child care either for students that they know through their school or classroom or former students.
I'm going to check out respite care, Julia. Any time I've applied for anything, we haven't qualified due to our income, but who knows...maybe something has changed...also, I never specifically looked into daycare. I am going to call the Regional Center and find out.
My husband and I are both full time employed, and we have two young kids in daycare. Because we are both active duty military, we don't really have to worry about it. If the kids are sick, one of us just tells our boss we need to go home, and we just go home for however long is needed. It hasn't ever been an issue.
I was a little frustrating when my husband was in Iraq for half a year, and I had to miss a lot of work, but coworkers would pitch in and everything would get handled easily.
For now, we usually trade. He stays home when they're sick, and then I stay home the next time.
Because they are young, they are in the same daycare, so it's easier. But, when they get older and start school, most schools have before and after care, so I'm sure we'll use that. See if your kids' schools have it.
We also are just very lucky with a lot of job flexibility. I can leave work, pick up my kids, and take them back to my office to hang out if I need to get another hour of work done. I actually have a few toys and coloring books at my office for this reason.
Generally, one of us takes the kids to school, and one of us picks them up so each of us have a chance to have a partially stable work schedule.
What if you used a nanny or sitter to help with school pick-up, and then stay home with the kids until a parent got home?
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