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View Poll Results: Do Family Law Courts in your state recognize Parental Alienation?
Malicious Parent Syndrome 0 0%
Borderline Personality Disorder 0 0%
Narcissistic Co-Parent 0 0%
Hostile Aggressive Parenting 0 0%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 0. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-05-2016, 05:35 PM
 
6 posts, read 4,772 times
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Parental Alienation Visitation Non-custodial Parent-fake-letter-parental-alientation-mother.jpg
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Old 07-05-2016, 05:49 PM
 
6 posts, read 4,772 times
Reputation: 21
I don't know how many teens speak in the manner that "the fake letter" was authored, but compared to my kids college essay and his "tweets" I can tell you he didn't write it AND, I have NEVER heard the word "whilst" come out of his mouth, not ever! After 13 years post-divorce with my co-parent / the custodial, we are still going to court -- will this ever end? Lastly, my son sadly told me this recently: "She [mother] doesn't care about the money, she doesn't care about me [minor child], she just wants to hurt you [her ex-husband/child's father]!"
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Old 07-05-2016, 06:03 PM
 
13,235 posts, read 21,020,973 times
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What do you think posters here can help you with? It seems to me, even with no experience in the subject, that a child who has graduated high school and preparing for college is fully capable of deciding who he wants to spend time with. A parent's influence only extends so far.
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Old 07-05-2016, 06:38 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,218 posts, read 20,854,432 times
Reputation: 26635
He might have used a form letter that he obtained online.

Here it's pretty common for the judge to take into consideration the child's wishes once the child is a teenager. Since your son has graduated from high school, he is for all practical purposes an adult and should be allowed to decide who he spends the summer with.

You'll do better in the end if you act gracious and supportive of his choices. Recognize that he's basically an adult and can make his own choices, tell him you want him to do what's best for him, and you'll support whatever choice he makes.

And whatever he's told you about his mother, please consider that you've got some pretty harsh opinions of her and most kids will try to please the parent they're with, so if you were saying a lot of negative things about her, he might have ended up agreeing with you or trying to say what you wanted to hear. My husband used to have problems like that with his parents...she would say bad things about his dad, and his dad would tell him some really outrageous lies...for example, that she was saving all the child support so that she could go on a really nice vacation once my husband grew up and moved out (when they were so poor that she used to try to heat the house by turning on the oven and opening the door because she couldn't afford to get the furnace fixed). My husband would always try to say the right things to keep both parents happy, but it never worked. Is it possible that your son is telling you what you want to hear?

By this age, he's already formed his opinion of you. No amount of court-ordered visitation is going to make him want to spend time with you if he doesn't want to. Backing off enough that he can make decisions for himself might make him want to see you.
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Old 07-06-2016, 02:33 PM
 
6 posts, read 4,772 times
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Thank you to everyone who leaves a comment. It is a very difficult situation to have been living in for myself & for my son. He's a really good kid & I'm doing my best to always "be there" for him no matter the differences my ex-wife & I have. Although I would like to be given equal rights, just once, when it comes to being the non-custodial parent. Rarely seeing your child/children, an ex that doesn't co-parent, paying for everything & then still not being able to see them is not the pattern of parenting I want my grandkids to have to experience. God Bless
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Old 07-06-2016, 04:26 PM
 
6,805 posts, read 3,637,005 times
Reputation: 8513
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunflowerCanary View Post
I don't know how many teens speak in the manner that "the fake letter" was authored, but compared to my kids college essay and his "tweets" I can tell you he didn't write it AND, I have NEVER heard the word "whilst" come out of his mouth, not ever! After 13 years post-divorce with my co-parent / the custodial, we are still going to court -- will this ever end? Lastly, my son sadly told me this recently: "She [mother] doesn't care about the money, she doesn't care about me [minor child], she just wants to hurt you [her ex-husband/child's father]!"
This is confusing. Does your son tell you the document is wrong? Is he saying to you that he does want to stay with you, despite what the document says?

Are you saying the document is wrong and that he never discussed his desire not to spend the summer with you?
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Old 07-06-2016, 04:33 PM
 
6,805 posts, read 3,637,005 times
Reputation: 8513
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunflowerCanary View Post
Thank you to everyone who leaves a comment. It is a very difficult situation to have been living in for myself & for my son. He's a really good kid & I'm doing my best to always "be there" for him no matter the differences my ex-wife & I have. Although I would like to be given equal rights, just once, when it comes to being the non-custodial parent. Rarely seeing your child/children, an ex that doesn't co-parent, paying for everything & then still not being able to see them is not the pattern of parenting I want my grandkids to have to experience. God Bless
The document says you didn't exercise your visitation rights over Christmas break. Is this true?
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Old 07-06-2016, 10:07 PM
 
6 posts, read 4,772 times
Reputation: 21
The "fake" letter was generated by my ex-wife & her sister, then submitted to the Judge as an exhibit for a court appearance, but the letter is all one falsehood after another. Parents that want to be with their kids, especially the non-custodial ones like myself, go through a lot of hell when co-parenting with one's ex is near impossible. The story in the "fake" letter is just that, a story for the Judge, in an attempt to re-write history to favor mother's desires. My agreement with my ex (& our son) was that we were to NEVER put him in the middle of our disputes. I ran for a government seat once & it was absolutely incredible how quick people were to bash me after my ex gave numerous negative interviews to the media. She could of just said nothing that would harm my possible future employment, but she felt it was okay to broadcast our divorce issues & brought our son's name up. I would like to believe that World Peace is a possibility, but so far I can't get peace from my ex 'cause I still care about my son & want to see him.
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Old 07-06-2016, 10:14 PM
 
6 posts, read 4,772 times
Reputation: 21
Dear Mattie, never underestimate the POWER of someone who is motivated to cause harm. Don't be too surprised that many people are not able to stand up to a parent. Some do, but some do not & even after that parent passes away, the adult-child can still hold fear from an unhealthy relationship that they could do little to nothing about when they were small & dependent. I'd like to believe that all people are good, but reality proves that is just not the case.
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Old 07-06-2016, 10:45 PM
 
13,235 posts, read 21,020,973 times
Reputation: 35777
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunflowerCanary View Post
Dear Mattie, never underestimate the POWER of someone who is motivated to cause harm. Don't be too surprised that many people are not able to stand up to a parent. Some do, but some do not & even after that parent passes away, the adult-child can still hold fear from an unhealthy relationship that they could do little to nothing about when they were small & dependent. I'd like to believe that all people are good, but reality proves that is just not the case.
Fortunately then, your son will be independent of his mother shortly. It sounds as though you have been able to maintain contact at any rate, and can move on to an adult relationship with your child.

We are only privy to your viewpoint here, and there are three sides. I'm not casting blame, it's a known fact that nobody wins when a divorce involves children, unless all parties keep the child's best interests in mind for all interactions.
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