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So that's it, you get defensive because you couldn't stop your own daughters from doing it.
Not all teen girls wear clothes that expose their backsides you know. Perhaps too many do, but not all.
Yeah, this.
I don't pick kid's clothes once they want to pick them. Ive hated a lot of the fads my tweens/teens wore, but I didn't comment on that. But I do set up standards. Having your butt hang out of shorts is not a fad to be different then their parents. Lots of people dressed like that when I was a teen. I know adult women who do that now. You are shouting fire where there isn't any smoke...because you can't or choose not to set limits on your daughter's clothing. Best of luck to you.
Parents have been telling kids (mostly girls) they don't have self-respect when they don't present themselves the way the parents think they should. In the 1920's, it was the parents of the flapper girls. In the 50's it was the girls wearing skirts doing swing dancing and spinning the skirts up so their underwear showed. In the 60's it was mini-skirts. In the 70's it was string bikinis and long hair on the boys.
It has nothing to do with self-respect and everything to do with kids not wanting to be different from their peers and trying to fit in with them. Self-respect comes from inside, not from what someone wears.
These days, the girls wear shorts and swim suits that show their a$$es. My teen daughters do it also. So do my nieces. So do most of their friends. It's no different in terms of pushing the older generations' buttons than what every generation has always done.
this is true, there was much inequality back then. but since then, we have achieved equality. the issue now is it going above and beyond. if you libs wanna keep pursuing it, then we'll just have you deal with the equality you seek now and guys will wear tighty shorts that expose our bulge. how's that.
You CAN contol the $$, the shopping & patrol the doorway.
But...
What I hate the most is:
-Doing the laundry & wondering "What is THIS...& THIS?"
-Looking for that cute sweater you bought her so you can start the laundry...& it's literally NOWHERE to be found.
-Cleaning out the back of the car & finding a T-shirt, hoodie & flip-flops that you KNOW you didn't buy them.
-Tossing their room to find out what else has appeared/disappeared & finding YOUR deodorant, eyeliner & tank top, along with a pair of jeans, swimsuit & entire backpack that you know are not theirs.
I just can't co-sign with half the stuff I read here. I am the mother of 3 daughters. My oldest is 15. She wears what I tell her she can wear. Are there times she has come downstairs in something I found inappropriate. Yep! She went back up stairs and changed into what I thought was suitable. Did she get mad? yep! I don't care what other kids are wearing. If your butt cheeks are sticking out of your shorts its inappropriate. You don't go to school that way. Self respect is the same whether it is 1920 or 2020. At the same time, having respect for your parents is the same regardless of what year it is too. I tell my kids all the time that they have a right to not agree with me. They also have a right to verbalize RESPECTFULLY that they disagree with me. But they do not have a right to disobey me. When they get a job and have to dress appropriately they wont go stomping to their boss that they don't like the outfit. All of this is about preparing them for life we aren't being mean. Quite frankly its a disservice to our children to not correct it. My 11 year old did not like the dress she wore for her school pictures. We argued about it that morning and she changed. When I got her pics I saw that this little sneaky girl put the dress in her backpack and changed when she got to school. I found it hilarious that she did this but guess what? She had to take make up pictures in the dress I found more appropriate. She also had extra chores for two weeks. Its the principle! BTW, I am not a prude. I'm 37 and a single professional. I love to dress stylish and want my kids to dress stylish as well. They have many designer clothes. I just make sure that they fit!
This is probably hard to imagine, but a daughter that's too modest can be as much of an issue as one who's not modest enough. My younger daughter won't wear any skirt shorter than mid calf length, won't wear shorts unless they come down to her knees, won't consider a two piece swimsuit even if it's a tankini, won't take her shirt off at the doctor's office. I feel bad that she's so uncomfortable with her body.
Is she uncomfortable with her body, or is she just modest? Not everyone who covers her body is uncomfortable with her body.
I just can't co-sign with half the stuff I read here. I am the mother of 3 daughters. My oldest is 15. She wears what I tell her she can wear. Are there times she has come downstairs in something I found inappropriate. Yep! She went back up stairs and changed into what I thought was suitable. Did she get mad? yep! I don't care what other kids are wearing. If your butt cheeks are sticking out of your shorts its inappropriate. You don't go to school that way. Self respect is the same whether it is 1920 or 2020. At the same time, having respect for your parents is the same regardless of what year it is too. I tell my kids all the time that they have a right to not agree with me. They also have a right to verbalize RESPECTFULLY that they disagree with me. But they do not have a right to disobey me. When they get a job and have to dress appropriately they wont go stomping to their boss that they don't like the outfit. All of this is about preparing them for life we aren't being mean. Quite frankly its a disservice to our children to not correct it. My 11 year old did not like the dress she wore for her school pictures. We argued about it that morning and she changed. When I got her pics I saw that this little sneaky girl put the dress in her backpack and changed when she got to school. I found it hilarious that she did this but guess what? She had to take make up pictures in the dress I found more appropriate. She also had extra chores for two weeks. Its the principle! BTW, I am not a prude. I'm 37 and a single professional. I love to dress stylish and want my kids to dress stylish as well. They have many designer clothes. I just make sure that they fit!
Did your parents tell you what you could and could not wear? If so, did you ever sneak around wearing what they wouldn't allow you to wear?
Yes they told me what was ok and they stopped me when i pushed the envelope as all teenagers try to do in the begining. I learned quick. So No I didnt sneak around and I will tell you why..... My mother was apart of the school system So i wouldnt get away with it. I had my first job when I was 14.....I worked for my father! They allowed me to manage that money I earned and I started buying my own clothes. Guess what? I still knew better then to buy the wrong thing. My brother bought a rap a Big Baddy cane Tape one time with his money. My mom heard the lyrics walked into his room and proceeded to pull the tape apart and left the pile on his floor to clean up. Lol!!!! You know that old adage you teach people how to treat you? Same goes for parenting I developed a strong work ethic and respect for my parents.
I'm not disputing a parent's right to have standards, but the OP has not said what her standards are. She threw out shorts (which her daughter paid for)because they looked too short, not on her daughter, but in her room. She didn't see them on her, so hanging butt cheeks was not confirmed. She threw out her thong underwear, that she also paid for.
Is it really awful for a young girl to want to express her sense of style even in underclothing? School dress codes don't go that far, last I checked.
I'm not disputing a parent's right to have standards, but the OP has not said what her standards are. She threw out shorts (which her daughter paid for)because they looked too short, not on her daughter, but in her room. She didn't see them on her, so hanging butt cheeks was not confirmed. She threw out her thong underwear, that she also paid for.
Is it really awful for a young girl to want to express her sense of style even in underclothing? School dress codes don't go that far, last I checked.
I feel sorry for any teenager whose parent wants to impose a "cotton briefs only" edict. That takes controlling to a whole new level.
No, not a crime, but not a fight worth fighting IMO. I'm curious as to just what the clothing she wants to wear really looks like, because, frankly, I don't know anybody who willingly wears cotton briefs. A lacy bra? Why not? Again, not visible to anybody, but if it makes your daughter feel good, and gives her body image confidence, harmless and possibly even helpful.
You might be desiring a degree of conservatism beyond the norm OP.
I agree. Don't push the underwear issue. My mom found a thong in my laundry when I was in college and had a fit! I thought it was really silly. If it makes you feel any better, I hate them now and don't wear them but I wouldn't have known without trying.
You can't have arbitrary standards. Pick an acceptable short length and stick with it.
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