SAHM putting their kids in daycare/preschools (4 yr old, hubby, learn)

[calif]

Wow I do believe I read all 12 pages! I also believe that the OP wanted some of these responses, she was looking for a debate or war. Anyway, enough of the trying to one up each other.

I may not put my children in preschool now that I'm a SAHM but I did teach preschool for many years and found that when a child calls you Mommy and hugs your leg and doesn't want to go home that maybe they are being left for too long. Children shouldn't be left for an unreasonable amount of time,(10hours) but what most women who stay at home on this board are saying is that they are bringing their kids to preschool for what the preschool was meant for...for the child to learn and socialize. I don't even think preschools/daycares should be open that long. For when a child is dropped off in pj's (homemade or not ) given breakfast, lunch and dinner at a center and brought home and put to bed that is sad. I'm sure there aren't many parents who actually do this but I've come across a few. I always thought to myself...did you really need the brand new car??? Maybe I judged a bit...

[mom2three]

Originally Posted by RoaminRed

Different parenting styles for different people. Unless the child is being ill-treated, it's nobody's business whether or not the mom or dad needs a few hours break and chooses to allow the kid to socialize with their peers during that time.

AMEN to that... I agree with you 100% RoaminRed. "Different strokes for different folks". NOBODY has the right to decide what is best for someone else's family ! Everybody is entilted to an opinion, but sometimes, people should to keep their opinions to themselves!!!

[mom2three]

Originally Posted by momlady530

I keep getting sucked into reading these posts because I think I'm going to find some wonderful solution to some problem I may be having with my children. Instead I see this is little more than a soapbox for some mothers to announce how wonderful they are. Great, you spend every waking moment with you child. Do you want a prize for that? Does it make you feel like a good person for saying that? Does it make you feel special to basically insult the vast majority of SAHMs who do put their kids in preschool for a grand whopping total of 7 hours a week? Seven out of 86 hours a week is a minuscule amount of time away from a child. Seven peaceful hour I personally spend either doing laundry, grocery shopping, or otherwise cleaning so I can spend the other 79 hours a week playing with my poor neglected child. How abusive of me.

Well Said!!!

[NEOhioBound]

I am a SAHM right now since I am moving in 2 months and DH is away at Fort Jackson for one month. I still continue to send my son to the daycare he attended while I was working. It gives me the opportunity to get my studying done as I am also a full time college student (albeit an online one at the moment) and it gives him the chance to interact with children his own age. I live in BFE South Dakota and they don't have play date groups here or Gymboree classes or anything of the like

What is it your business if I choose to help stimulate the economy by paying to have my child in daycare?

[5FLgirls]

momlady530 and mom2three: You go girls!!

Those SAHMs who don't need a break to do laundry, run errands, take a shower or go to the bathroom alone, clean the house or just answer the phone for five minutes must be saints and I am definitely a terrible mother. Just having a little help goes a long way towards making me a better parent.
My 2.5yo stays at home with me all the long day long () and it is obvious that between chores, errands, taking care of her 13mo sister and two older sisters, she is bored and needs something for herself. When we drop my four year old off at school, it take me 15 minutes to pry her kicking and screaming out of the classroom. But hey, I do my best just like every other mom does her best. So, I don't feel in the least bit like a bad mom or guilty because she's going to go to school from 8:15 - 2:45 three days a week in the fall.

[b75]

What I know about kindergarten today is that the curriculum is quite a bit accelerated from when I attended (although it was one of the few full day kindergartens in 1980!). Given that preschool could be helpful, although my mother never sent me. When I was under the age of 5 I was very very clingy to the point where my mother couldn't leave me anywhere. Some of my friends have children similar & they sent them to daycare to try & get their child to be more independent/used to mom not being there. My mother did the opposite & gave me what I asked for which was the attention & time. By Kindergarten I was fine with being gone all day; never got homesick at sleepaway camp or college & moved out of the house by 18. In fact I have generally been much more independent minded then most of my peers, am fine with periods of being single, not afraid to have a different POV from others etc. So I don't think it is necessary to separate a child from its mother just b/c they are clingy when they are young. In fact it might just be a good idea to give them what they are asking for and perhaps that will cause them to be confident enough to develop a strong sense of self. Who knows <shrug> I guess my point is if your child is young and clingy - don't worry there is a very good chance they will grow up to be a strong, independent minded person without you having to do anything to try and effect that.

[NYMD67]

I also belive that this is a personal decision that a family makes. I am a SAHM with 2 children, one in Kindergarten (full day) and a 2 year old. I will be enrolling my 2 yr old in preschool in Sept (as she will be 3 then) and doing it because she definitely needs the social interaction with other children her age,but also, I admit, I need a little break and the 2 mornings that she will be there will be just fine. I don't think there is anything wrong with woman just admitting they need a break!
I have a problem with the mom's who were working mom's and are now SAHM and SWORE they would NEVER ,EVER put their children in a preschool/daycare setting and are now doing it,and doing it on a full time basis! those are the mom's I question,what happened , why such the drastic change in heart?
I say it is because they realized that being a SAHM isn't just sitting around the house with playdates drinking coffee all day long..............

[wagapa]

You have your 22 month on your lap while you are browsing posts on City-Data? It's not the same as having an unaware infant in your lap..

Surely you could be spending better quality time with him/her. I don't think reading and responding to posts while he/she is in your care is THAT important.

If I ever dropped my child off at an in-home daycare I would surely hope that the caregiver didn't sit at the computer with my child on her lap.
But, of course, it's okay for you....

Maybe YOUR child is better off in daycare/preschool. At least there are other caregivers there to monitor.

Use your "Free Time" to browse the internet. Like when's she's sleeping, for example....or try preschool a few hours a week...looks like you need it...

Originally Posted by mommiewrites

thanks for your concern. My nine year old is doing math worksheets and my 22 month old is in my lap.

least i know what my kids are doing this moment.

apparently its ok to let strangers raise your kids while you do whatever it is a sahm mom with no kids at home does.

I'm out. this conversation has taken a total turn from what i intended it.

[southdown]

What about SAHM's who leave the kids in front of the TV all day?

Just because they are not in preschool and at home with mamma, it does not necessarily follow that the child is being stimulated, educated or even having any fun!

[Elmonellie]

Originally Posted by wagapa

You have your 22 month on your lap while you are browsing posts on City-Data? It's not the same as having an unaware infant in your lap..

Surely you could be spending better quality time with him/her. I don't think reading and responding to posts while he/she is in your care is THAT important.

If I ever dropped my child off at an in-home daycare I would surely hope that the caregiver didn't sit at the computer with my child on her lap.
But, of course, it's okay for you....

Maybe YOUR child is better off in daycare/preschool. At least there are other caregivers there to monitor.

Use your "Free Time" to browse the internet. Like when's she's sleeping, for example....or try preschool a few hours a week...looks like you need it...

Wow. Why do you care what this woman does with her little girl?

How bizarre you think your opinion matters to this woman.