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Old 03-02-2008, 03:48 PM
 
6,764 posts, read 19,306,641 times
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I didn't read all these posts but as a former daycare/preschool teacher AND a mom I would like to chime in.

First off, daycare/preschool teachers make HORRIBLE money. Please understand most of them are caring people, mainly (like myself at the time) education majors trying to break into the field 'somehow' or former moms looking to make a salary. Yes, you get some nasty people who don't care (like in every profession) and greedy, greedy owners of some daycares.

You can say, "too bad" about the salary but it's also a stressful job. At most jobs (with adults) you can ignore an annoying co-worker or tell him or her to SHUT UP. A good daycare worker (or someone who is professional) must have ENDLESS patience. It's not just about 'playing toys' with cuddly little kids.

In addition, most preschools/daycares are overcrowded (greedy owners..) and understaffed. So, yes, little Kevin or little Isabella might not get 100% attention and fawning like at home, but the social aspects and the learning to 'break away' from Mom and Dad have merits. Just keep your eyes open where and when you place your child.

 
Old 03-03-2008, 12:49 AM
 
Location: Nor Cal
324 posts, read 1,550,486 times
Reputation: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYSinger View Post
I just checked out this site. It doesn't just bash putting your child in daycare, I believe it will scare you into keeping them out. After teaching preschool for many years I can tell you that much of what these caregivers are saying is true, they don't care about your kids, and yes they let them sit in poop all day until you are about to pick them up, then whomever draws the short straw has to change the kid.

Many teachers/caregivers are burnt out and don't have the patience to deal with kids. They paint a rosey picture for you but try stopping by unannounced often and see what you find...
 
Old 03-03-2008, 09:20 AM
 
1,067 posts, read 5,037,698 times
Reputation: 543
I teach and aid in a preschool and nothing that is expressed above has happened where I work.

I have pulled my son out of a bad preschool due to safety and vowed never to put him in a situation like that again. The teachers were very good but the leadership was terrible due to no policies when it came to children who were a constant problem. No bite policies, not choking policies.. There should be zero tolerance.
This was a church school.. I then put my son in a recommended school and it was wonderful which had zero tolerance for that and he was in a safe school.. lots of the reasons why we had issue prior is because we were new to town and we did not know anyone well enough to get a good recommendation.. then I found a support group of moms who were helpful in giving me information in which led to his placement at the new preschool, even his current school.

When my son started Kindergarten, one of the reasons I started subing was to see the enviroment my son is in, to make sure all was well. I have been impressed by the structure, the policies and how they care for each child.... They soon offered me an aid position which was fine because I get to see my son quite often and get a discount on his tution.

I help change diapers in the infant room and 2's and there is a routine of how they do it. The 1's are changed 3 times a day in 5 hours and if anyone has went number 2, they are changed immediatly. The 2's room are all almost all 3 year olds now and I also assist in getting them to the potty. There are children in there who aren't trained completely and they get changed immediatly.

What I have found that the 2's class is ran and set up like the older classes. They have tables with chairs, cubby's for their back packs, lunches and coats.. They do art projects as well as bible stories, circle time where they learn about shapes, days of the week, numbers, letters , what the weather is like today... They also have lunch in the cafateria, have play time outside and gym with a real gym teacher.

For a class of kids who are 3 or turning soon, they are pretty good and I have not seen any sort of abuse.

I am not one to say that it couldn't happen anywhere because it could, there are very bad people out there who care to profit but that is not always the case... I feel that it is important to be knowledgable about where you put them & I also feel it is due to who is in charge.. just like the situation my son was in prior.

Being in the school and seeing how it is run, it is leadership what is important because without it, there could be all sorts of issues. That is why it is important to ask where is a good place to send them...

The nature of the op though wasn't about what you brought up, but you did bring up good points...and something for people to consider when choosing pre school. It isn't all bad... I can testify to that...

Last edited by stargazer; 03-03-2008 at 09:36 AM..
 
Old 03-03-2008, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Sugar Grove, IL
3,131 posts, read 10,281,145 times
Reputation: 1604
when my children were young, they went to in-home daycare. the provider was a personal friend, so i had no worries. even after i stopped working at my part-time job, i continued to send my son a couple of half-days each week so that he could be with his friends. this worked out great until he was able to attend the local pre-school. there is nothing wrong with having your kids go to daycare, even if you don't work. it does give them time for socialization. just like anything else, you need to be sure of where you are placing your children. if you are happy and they are happy, that's what matters. if someone can afford to do this, why should anyone else care?
 
Old 03-03-2008, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Hartford County, CT
98 posts, read 340,301 times
Reputation: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsySoul22 View Post
I didn't read all these posts but as a former daycare/preschool teacher AND a mom I would like to chime in.

First off, daycare/preschool teachers make HORRIBLE money. Please understand most of them are caring people, mainly (like myself at the time) education majors trying to break into the field 'somehow' or former moms looking to make a salary. Yes, you get some nasty people who don't care (like in every profession) and greedy, greedy owners of some daycares.

You can say, "too bad" about the salary but it's also a stressful job. At most jobs (with adults) you can ignore an annoying co-worker or tell him or her to SHUT UP. A good daycare worker (or someone who is professional) must have ENDLESS patience. It's not just about 'playing toys' with cuddly little kids.

In addition, most preschools/daycares are overcrowded (greedy owners..) and understaffed. So, yes, little Kevin or little Isabella might not get 100% attention and fawning like at home, but the social aspects and the learning to 'break away' from Mom and Dad have merits. Just keep your eyes open where and when you place your child.
Ditto!

I hate to get all preachy but I have personally seen children who were very closed-in and a doormat to their siblings until they got to go to day care -- they literally bloomed. Sometimes it is the best thing that can happen to a child. I would never keep my kid at home. I would be very careful to pick the right day care facility and keep my eye on it at all times (my own kindergarten experience was just awful, but my parents had no choices back then), but keeping your eye on the day care facility is not the same as keeping your eye on your kid all day. The only mothers who think that keeping children at home is the best solution are usually the mothers who plant the child in front of the TV with DVDs all day. I know. And having the TV babysit your children once in a while is not horrible, but at the same time it is not better than day cares.

It is tiring to take care of children. Day cares have activities planned out for them. Kids learn to tell the time, they learn discipline in society, they learn to interact with each other, etc.. I find it selfish when a mother assumes that children are being intellectually stimulated at home. Pray tell, how?! With all my book readings, acrylic painting sessions, wide array of games and expensive arts and crafts activities, I find that I personally can't keep up with the children. How, then, do the other parents do it when they're not even half as active as I am? Far be it for me to criticize my parents' parenting skills because I see how hard it is, but as a child I knew I was expected not to "bother" my parents and often turned inwards for entertainment, and that meant TV and sometimes siblings that I was lucky enough to be in the same age group with. Not all children get siblings that belong to the same age group.

I see children who stay at home with their parents or grandparents and these children are sometimes not as well adjusted as they would have been if they were among their peers more often. They think the world revolves around them and they don't need to be spoiled rotten to have that mentality. Just as stay at home moms are often isolated, it is no different for the children.

There was a reason for Darwin's theory about thriving through competition... just as long as the day care is nothing like my kindergarten where the bigger fish ate the smaller one. Do not underestimate the day cares. It is better than keeping them at home.
 
Old 03-03-2008, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,903,683 times
Reputation: 1896
Quote:
Originally Posted by paper doll View Post
Ditto!

I hate to get all preachy but I have personally seen children who were very closed-in and a doormat to their siblings until they got to go to day care -- they literally bloomed. Sometimes it is the best thing that can happen to a child. I would never keep my kid at home. I would be very careful to pick the right day care facility and keep my eye on it at all times (my own kindergarten experience was just awful, but my parents had no choices back then), but keeping your eye on the day care facility is not the same as keeping your eye on your kid all day. The only mothers who think that keeping children at home is the best solution are usually the mothers who plant the child in front of the TV with DVDs all day. I know. And having the TV babysit your children once in a while is not horrible, but at the same time it is not better than day cares.

It is tiring to take care of children. Day cares have activities planned out for them. Kids learn to tell the time, they learn discipline in society, they learn to interact with each other, etc.. I find it selfish when a mother assumes that children are being intellectually stimulated at home. Pray tell, how?! With all my book readings, acrylic painting sessions, wide array of games and expensive arts and crafts activities, I find that I personally can't keep up with the children. How, then, do the other parents do it when they're not even half as active as I am? Far be it for me to criticize my parents' parenting skills because I see how hard it is, but as a child I knew I was expected not to "bother" my parents and often turned inwards for entertainment, and that meant TV and sometimes siblings that I was lucky enough to be in the same age group with. Not all children get siblings that belong to the same age group.

I see children who stay at home with their parents or grandparents and these children are sometimes not as well adjusted as they would have been if they were among their peers more often. They think the world revolves around them and they don't need to be spoiled rotten to have that mentality. Just as stay at home moms are often isolated, it is no different for the children.

There was a reason for Darwin's theory about thriving through competition... just as long as the day care is nothing like my kindergarten where the bigger fish ate the smaller one. Do not underestimate the day cares. It is better than keeping them at home.

I have to say that as a SAHM that I take offense to part of this and agree with most of it.
I do not and will not ever use my television as a babysitter. That is one of the things I struggled with when trying to decide if having my children home was better or worse for them because of the reputation that most SAHM's seem to have amongst the other population.
With that said however, I do agree that probably putting our children in a learning center atmosphere (as long as that is what it really is and they aren't just "playing" all day) is probably a very good thing.
It is difficult to come up with activities all day/every day to keep their little minds & hands busy.
I did put my older daughter who is now in elementary school in pre-school and will also do so for my other daughter who is at home now but will be 3 by the fall next year.
I do it so they do have that social interaction with other children but also so that there is some respite at home. (they are in for 2 mornings a week,until the pre-k program...)
My child is no longer napping-yes at 2 1/2 rarely,rarely naps!
I am an older mom (in my 40's) and find it difficult to keep up with her 5 days a week from 6am until bedtime.
My husband travels frequently so many weeks there is no respite in the evenings.

I still feel that with the challenges there are, that me being home with my children is more beneficial than putting them in a program on a FT basis as some of the previous posts have said they do. They are able to keep a clean house,cook dinner,etc... that is so nice-but for me, it just doesn't make sense, as tempting as it is on some days!
 
Old 03-03-2008, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Hartford County, CT
98 posts, read 340,301 times
Reputation: 40
NYMD and all the other moms,

Though I stand behind everything I've said so far, you'll have to forgive my choice of words or at best, take them with a grain of salt. They can sting when you're a mom and you're doing all that you can the best way you can, and I definitely relate to that goal. I've had a hard weekend. My history paper's due tonight. I haven't even started reading the material. There is no clean plate in my kitchen. The laundry is folded and waiting for me to disperse them in all the right drawers. And food is out of the question.

Writing in this thread was my first break since last Friday afternoon. Strangely, I feel rested My husband called from work a few minutes ago and when I told him that I'm not feeling better than I did last night, he said, "Mondays always suck." I couldn't relate to that because I get more rest during the week than I do on weekends.
 
Old 03-04-2008, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Chicago
5,412 posts, read 8,294,782 times
Reputation: 6352
Quote:
Originally Posted by paper doll View Post
NYMD and all the other moms,

Though I stand behind everything I've said so far, you'll have to forgive my choice of words or at best, take them with a grain of salt. They can sting when you're a mom and you're doing all that you can the best way you can, and I definitely relate to that goal. I've had a hard weekend. My history paper's due tonight. I haven't even started reading the material. There is no clean plate in my kitchen. The laundry is folded and waiting for me to disperse them in all the right drawers. And food is out of the question.

Writing in this thread was my first break since last Friday afternoon. Strangely, I feel rested My husband called from work a few minutes ago and when I told him that I'm not feeling better than I did last night, he said, "Mondays always suck." I couldn't relate to that because I get more rest during the week than I do on weekends.
Thanks for your explanation about your previous post. I didn't agree with much of it - especially the part about "The only mothers who think that keeping children at home is the best solution are usually the mothers who plant the child in front of the TV with DVDs all day. I know." That shocks me that you think that. What kind of moms do you know? I was lucky enough to stay home with my kids until they started Kindergarten and we NEVER watched TV. They are very well adjusted and doing excellent in school.

I have nothing against day care and think there are many excellent facilities out there. I'm just surprised about how many people seem to think that SAHM just - well - "stay at home" or "use the TV as a babysitter." I was outside the home every day with my kids - attending playgroups, going to parks and children's museums, volunteering, taking classes (art, music, pottery, Spanish, cooking, etc.), and playing sports (soccer, gymnastics, dance, swimming, iceskating, etc.). I did these things with lots of SAHM and doubt that many of them "used the TV as a babysitter." Our rec room was set up like a Montessori preschool with different stations (art, math, reading, drama, music, puzzles, etc.) and the kids spent lots of time doing activities there as well as outside in our backyard just climbing trees, planting gardens, doing science experiments, etc.

I was just really surprised by your assertion about SAHM. I just don't know any moms like that. Most of the moms in my neighborhood are well educated and wouldn't dream of "planting their kids in front of the TV all day." Am I just living in Mayberry?
 
Old 03-04-2008, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Hartford County, CT
98 posts, read 340,301 times
Reputation: 40
I actually know SAHMs who will admit that TVs babysit their children and most of the time I don't criticize that. First of all, it's their kids and I have no say in their parenting techniques, so I respect my distance on this topic. Secondly, it IS hard to raise children and I recognize the fact that TVs, though not exactly a nice option, can help out a lot from time to time... like when I need my peace and quiet to study and research for papers. TV watching doesn't make one a horrible parent.

But at the same time, I'm the active type, the energizer bunny that doesn't stop until midnight. Active moms like you, from what I've personally seen, are rare. I'm so glad you take them to museums and you take time out of your day to volunteer. You're basically leading the life I would if I didn't have FT school and work to handle. You also have a support group in the same mindset as you about raising their children. I don't have that and a lot of moms are in my shoes -- doing a lot and not having a peer who is just as active as I am. It's also still fairly cold outside, so besides all this, I'm experiencing the hibernation effects: there aren't a lot of activities available until spring comes. I can see it in the kids -- when the weather's warmer, they know they won't be staying at home so the most asked question in our household is, "Where will we be going today?"

From what I've seen, their own friends are not as active as they are because their parents are not taking them places. It convinces me that it's really not just my imagination. Kudos to all the active moms, but know that not all moms are like you guys.
 
Old 03-04-2008, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,903,683 times
Reputation: 1896
I also agree, I do not know ANY mom's who are SAHM's that plant their children in front of the television. I am not sure what type of mom's you know either,but at least it sounds as though you aren't the same as your friends.
It is absolutely horrible that people think that is what we do when we are at home.
I just got home, haven't been here since 8:30am after dropping my oldest off at school.
We went to our gym class,went to a playdate at the park and had lunch.
That is typical of our days, we do, especially during those colder days, stay in the house but the tv is on in the morning and that is pretty much it!
We read,we play games,blocks,anything that keeps her busy and stimulated.
SO, again, I do not know many people who would agree with the tv thing either.
All of my friends (including myself) are all college educated women who made the decision to stay home because it is what suited us best, certainly not because we thought this would be a great "vacation" and that we could just slack off and watch tv all day with our kids.
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