SAHM putting their kids in daycare/preschools (method, 5 yr old, high school)

[5FLgirls]

As soon as my children wake up in the morning, they turn the TV on. If it's on infomercials, they give me a second by second description of the sale item and tell me we should purchase it (they're watching this while I'm getting dressed, dressing my younger children, making breakfast and lunch..). I usually put the TV to noggin before I go to bed!

My two older girls love to watch TV. My husband can't stand it and doesn't like the girls to watch it. My two older girls go to school every day and usually have activities after school until 5:30PM. I try not to be the TV police because I feel that they could use a few minutes of down time vegging in front of it. On the other hand, my two year old has to have the TV on. I just tried an experiment. Our TV is currently on. My two year old and 13 month old are playing on the other side of the room together--not watching TV. I turned the TV off. My daughter stopped playing, walked over to the TV, turned it back on and walked back to playing with her little sister. I guess she wanted the background noise. Some moms would fault me for that but I don't see it as the TV babysitting my kids!

I try to do an activity with my two little ones every day--be it a music class, My Gym, art activities or just playing outside. Every afternoon, we pick up my two older girls from school and are either sitting around (in the car, outside or in a facility) while the older ones have gymnastics, dance, art, or horseback riding. It isn't too fun for my two little ones. Their play is restricted or they have to be quiet. Today my 2 yo said, "No ballet. I no get dressed." and is still wearing her pajamas playing by herself or with her sister. This afternoon I have a babysitter coming so that they can just sit at home and play--it is nice to just do nothing sometimes.

My 2 yo will be attending preschool next year (when she's three) three days a week. I started my other girls at 2 but since my last two are so close in age and so attached to me, I've kept her home. She doesn't interact well with other kids (including her siblings). She can't understand that hitting and pushing is not acceptable behavior, no matter how many times we explain it to her. She's very smart and I think school is going to be fabulous for her--not as a babysitter but as a learning tool.

[sskkc]

If it's on infomercials, they give me a second by second description of the sale item and tell me we should purchase it

My kids keep telling me how I need some purse they saw on TV... The Braxton Organizer or something. So funny! They're sure it will make my life soooo much easier.

We have 2 hard and fast rules about technology... 30 minutes a day on the computer and the TV doesn't get turned on before school on school days or until after homework is done afterschool. As they get older, I'm sure we'll have to expand it. We started this rule my son's first day of kindergarten. It's second nature to both... occasionally, they ask on days where school is delayed 2 hours. They learned quick and young that to ask is to lose TV privileges for the remainder of the day. Not that they watch much during the week. Most of their watching is on non school nights (DVDs/movies) and the weekends.

[NYMD67]

Actually, I should have made my posts a little more clear. By no means am I saying that I think that mom's who do have the tv on all day are "bad mothers", I know plenty who have their tv on all day (usually on CNN or MSNBC-I am showing my age...) because they like the background noise.
I also have a very dear sister(who I love very much) that also has the television on most of the day. Her son also seems to just like the background noise because he doesn't pay much attention to what is actually on the tv.
I also don't want to be deceiving about who I am as a mom. I do have the tv on in the mornings-as I think I did say... & my children also love to watch The Berenstain Bears which is on SPROUT in the evenings-right before bed.
My children have dvd's that they do watch once in awhile... they are normal kids who do enjoy those things.
I just take offense when someone implies that the television is used as a babysitter in most SAHM's homes,because I just don't feel that is the case at all.

[orrmobl]

Now wait a minute. I'm a stay at home Dad and I don't really have playgroup options, not that I would really embrace them as I found the Moms in my friend's group unwelcoming, not to mention catty, lazy, and not all too bright. They all sat around and chit chatted and ignored their kids while I chased mine and kept an eye on theirs to make sure the inadequately baby proofed house didn't get anyone.

Maybe I just have an unrealistic expectation of parents. I want to be the best parent I can be and that means attending to my children's needs, keeping them safe, and keeping up to date on my industry, which is currently Child Care.

My 4 year old son goes to the best preschool we could afford to the tune of $535 for 3 half days a week, no meals included.

Do you think I sent him because I wanted a break? No way! I would have him here with me and his younger brother, 2 and a half, and sister, 4 months. But the fact is he needed to socialize more with kids other than family, and a little more experience with a school setting will help him prepare for kindergarten.

And the lessons he learns are better than something I could put together, what with 2 other babies to care for. I simply reinforce and expand things he learns, Spanish words and reading for example.

But the picking him up with 2 babies in tow is a royal pain...so, no there really is no "break" I'm getting...I actually find the whole process a hassle but it's what we think is best for him developmentally, plain and simple...

[therewego]

Originally Posted by orrmobl

Now wait a minute. I'm a stay at home Dad and I don't really have playgroup options, not that I would really embrace them as I found the Moms in my friend's group unwelcoming, not to mention catty, lazy, and not all too bright. They all sat around and chit chatted and ignored their kids while I chased mine and kept an eye on theirs to make sure the inadequately baby proofed house didn't get anyone.
**you sound like me when I am at the playground w/my kids. I am the one watching my kids and the other kids that are being mean to them or running w/sticks while the other moms sat around. It is very annoying....

Maybe I just have an unrealistic expectation of parents. I want to be the best parent I can be and that means attending to my children's needs, keeping them safe, and keeping up to date on my industry, which is currently Child Care.

My 4 year old son goes to the best preschool we could afford to the tune of $535 for 3 half days a week, no meals included.

Do you think I sent him because I wanted a break? No way! I would have him here with me and his younger brother, 2 and a half, and sister, 4 months. But the fact is he needed to socialize more with kids other than family, and a little more experience with a school setting will help him prepare for kindergarten.
Exactly, I send mine so they can socialize w/others and learn things like how to write their name; I tried and teaching was not my calling or my kids tend to listen to the teacher.

And the lessons he learns are better than something I could put together, what with 2 other babies to care for. I simply reinforce and expand things he learns, Spanish words and reading for example.

But the picking him up with 2 babies in tow is a royal pain...so, no there really is no "break" I'm getting...I actually find the whole process a hassle but it's what we think is best for him developmentally, plain and simple...

GOod for you staying home w/them. MY hubby says he'd trade places w/me if he could. You and I are very lucky....

[nic529]

LOL - my husband calls me a million times when he's home with mine!

No one is wrong for putting their kids in preschool! Preschool Rocks!

[therewego]

Originally Posted by orrmobl

Now wait a minute. I'm a stay at home Dad and I don't really have playgroup options, not that I would really embrace them as I found the Moms in my friend's group unwelcoming, not to mention catty, lazy, and not all too bright. They all sat around and chit chatted and ignored their kids while I chased mine and kept an eye on theirs to make sure the inadequately baby proofed house didn't get anyone.

Maybe I just have an unrealistic expectation of parents. I want to be the best parent I can be and that means attending to my children's needs, keeping them safe, and keeping up to date on my industry, which is currently Child Care.

My 4 year old son goes to the best preschool we could afford to the tune of $535 for 3 half days a week, no meals included.

Do you think I sent him because I wanted a break? No way! I would have him here with me and his younger brother, 2 and a half, and sister, 4 months. But the fact is he needed to socialize more with kids other than family, and a little more experience with a school setting will help him prepare for kindergarten.

And the lessons he learns are better than something I could put together, what with 2 other babies to care for. I simply reinforce and expand things he learns, Spanish words and reading for example.

But the picking him up with 2 babies in tow is a royal pain...so, no there really is no "break" I'm getting...I actually find the whole process a hassle but it's what we think is best for him developmentally, plain and simple...

Also, forgot to mention that I agree w/the catty comment about other moms. I have had trouble making friends with other moms due to their judgmental opinions, being envious/jealous, etc. It has come to the point that I don't even try anymore. I would probably welcome a playdate with a stay at home dad over a SAHM.

[soontob]

My kids keep telling me how I need some purse they saw on TV... The Braxton Organizer or something.

I just had to comment. My four year old has said the exact same thing to me, more than once. LOL

[5FLgirls]

Originally Posted by orrmobl

Now wait a minute. I'm a stay at home Dad and I don't really have playgroup options, not that I would really embrace them as I found the Moms in my friend's group unwelcoming, not to mention catty, lazy, and not all too bright. They all sat around and chit chatted and ignored their kids while I chased mine and kept an eye on theirs to make sure the inadequately baby proofed house didn't get anyone.

Maybe I just have an unrealistic expectation of parents. I want to be the best parent I can be and that means attending to my children's needs, keeping them safe, and keeping up to date on my industry, which is currently Child Care.

My 4 year old son goes to the best preschool we could afford to the tune of $535 for 3 half days a week, no meals included.

Do you think I sent him because I wanted a break? No way! I would have him here with me and his younger brother, 2 and a half, and sister, 4 months. But the fact is he needed to socialize more with kids other than family, and a little more experience with a school setting will help him prepare for kindergarten.

And the lessons he learns are better than something I could put together, what with 2 other babies to care for. I simply reinforce and expand things he learns, Spanish words and reading for example.

But the picking him up with 2 babies in tow is a royal pain...so, no there really is no "break" I'm getting...I actually find the whole process a hassle but it's what we think is best for him developmentally, plain and simple...

As another mom commented--good for you for staying home. It's a hard job. I can personally say that my husband wouldn't trade jobs with me in a million years! He stayed home with us for 6 months and said he prefers working. You hit the nail on the head about playgroups altogether -- and some people wonder why I don't want to join a Mom's Group.

My last comment is regarding picking your child up from preschool with the other two in tow--I FEEL YOU!! I have to pick my two older girls up from school. It's an open campus so I have to park my car, walk around the building and through the campus to my one daughter's classroom, physically sign her out and then walk to my other daughter's room and wait for her to be dismissed. There's a 15 minute window between both dismissals (preschool and elementary school). This is a lot easier said than done, as I'm sure you can imagine. I'm picking them up with a cranky 2.5 yo who refuses to nap and 13mo who I've had to wake up to take. My 2.5 yo wants to stay in my preschooler's classroom and I usually have to remove her kicking and screaming and then she lays on the ground crying. Let's put it this way--everyone at this school knows my 2yo and our family now. (and for those who want to comment about sticking her in a stroller--that's hit or miss when she knows how to unbuckle herself!)

[paper doll]

Like I said, it's the area, it's the peers, it's a lot of things. I only know one SAHM who has an associate's degree. The rest have barely finished high school. So again, even when considering the education levels, I still feel like the black sheep. I took up arts and crafts so that I could entertain the kids with and teach them something. Neither one of my parents ever took arts and crafts for my sake and I don't know any other parents, not even my DH who really couldn't be a better father, who has resolved to try to learn something new for their children. I study history, ergo our 5 yr old can talk up a storm about the civil rights movement of the 60s, Greek mythology, world lit, and some surrealist painters. I don't know any other parents who do this. I'm considered weird for teaching them things like these, things that are way out of their grasp (but in fact really aren't).

orrmobl, therewego and 5FLgirls echo mine and my DH's experience with our children and other parents around us. It really is not my imagination or isolated experiences. Consider yourselves lucky to be in such good company with other active moms.