SAHM putting their kids in daycare/preschools

[NYMD67]

Originally Posted by KristyLiz

So true! Being pregnant 3 times does not make me more of a parent, it just makes me a parent with saggy boobs

Thanks that is funny, however, I can't say that mine have held up to well with age!

[NYMD67]

Originally Posted by NEOhioBound

I never said that. Don't put words into my mouth. What I was saying is that HE has no right to tell me how I should feel for my son. Women do go through hormone changes due to pregnancy and it can effect how they feel abut being a mother. Plain and simple

I know that I don't know you and I really can't relate to what type of hormonal issues that a pregnant person goes through.( I can talk about hormonal issues that a person trying to get pregnant goes through if you would like to go that route....) I can relate as a woman though and truthfully, I think that you are quite defensive to everyone on this board.

Just leave the poor man alone,he is raising his children in the way that he and his wife feel is right for their family. What is wrong with that exactly , I don't know....
My goodness! I am in my 40's and think that some of these comments sound like they are coming from children....

[NEOhioBound]

hmm, that is the point. He can raise HIS children they way HE wants and I can raise my child the way I want

Originally Posted by NYMD67

Just leave the poor man alone,he is raising his children in the way that he and his wife feel is right for their family. What is wrong with that exactly , I don't know....

[orrmobl]

Originally Posted by movingtohouston

I don't seem to understand your arguement. You are giving neohio a hard time for doing the exact same thing your wife is doing, but she is in the wrong and its alright for your wife. Great for you for loving your children enough to stay home with them and being at their beck and call 24/7.

I have 3 very active boys ages 12, 11 and 3. One has adhd, and let me tell you staying home with them all day, I need a break, I desparately need me time alone away from them but I don't have access to any babysitters, I have no family here to call upon. Consider yourself fortunate that you have help when you need it. I don't, if I could afford it I would definately consider a drop in program every once in awhile and by your arguements that makes me and people like me horrible. If you can't understand or at least have some empathy of where we(Moms or Dads like me) are coming from this debate will go on forever.

I love the "beck and call" stuff...as if children are such a great imposition...Why on earth did you bother to have them if they are such a burden to you? And substitute "husband" for "children" and see how well it rolls off the tongue and how willingly you will outsource the things you do for him...

The hard time is and has always been about both parents working when there isn't a financial need or placing kids in daycare while the parent is home doing other "better" things.

So in this case, I am analagous to neohio and my wife is analagous to her husband...get it?

And whoever said I have all this great help when I need it...I certainly do not. My mom helped for one week and maybe a month of saturday nights with the first, less than a week with the second, and stayed a week with the third though it was more to visit than help with the kids...and that was it...we've never had steady anybody to watch our kids and we've managed just fine.

We average a babysitter once every 4 months and just hired one for the first time a few weeks ago. So don't act like I'm not practicing what I preach because I am.

As far as staying home all day with your kids, aren't the older two in school? If so, I'm not really feeling sympathetic as to how hard your day is compared to mine and a lot of other SAHPs. And I would think once the oldest is 13 you could leave him and the next younger one home for a few hours so you could get out.

[orrmobl]

Originally Posted by NEOhioBound

I never said that. Don't put words into my mouth. What I was saying is that HE has no right to tell me how I should feel for my son. Women do go through hormone changes due to pregnancy and it can effect how they feel abut being a mother. Plain and simple

It's called postpartum depression and you should get checked out for it. I'm not in any way making a joke. You and your family will be much happier if you do find out you have it and take medication to combat it. Trust me, you will thoroughly enjoy what you may currently think is a take it or leave it situation...

[NEOhioBound]

yeah, because my doctor never thought about doing the test for it.. for all 3 of my checkups over the past 9 months

Originally Posted by orrmobl

It's called postpartum depression and you should get checked out for it. I'm not in any way making a joke. You and your family will be much happier if you do find out you have it and take medication to combat it. Trust me, you will thoroughly enjoy what you may currently think is a take it or leave it situation...

[L.K.]

Originally Posted by orrmobl

I was just pointing out the impossibility of your husband spending THAT much time with the kids, thus necessitating time spent with them on his day off...

My wife has a pretty cush job, standard 8.5 hours with good pay. She gets home around 6 and the kids go to bed at 9. She's also home all weekend, one day of which we usually devote to a family outing.

Conversely, my friend puts her kids to bed at 7 and then she and her husband have a nice dinner together...and I think she is all wrong. I think you have the kids to be part of the family and that includes dinner time. Her husband spends 2 hours getting ready every morning so he doesn't come home until late and whines that he wants things back the way they used to be. And I think he's a selfish ass.

My kids are on the late schedule so my wife can see them for more than 15 minutes at the end of the day...

As I said before, my wife was in a bad way with our first. So, for all intents and puposes, he's "mine". And to say that I couldn't possibly bond with him in a meaningful way is naive at best. I've bonded with all my kids, the last 2after my wife returned to work, and I don't think they treat us any differently. If anything, they prefer me because I'm home with them every day. But, as I said before, my wife and I are equally capable of caring for the kids, and, as a result, there is no favoritism on their part and no lack of confidence in being alone with them on either of our parts.

In fact, my wife prefers to be home with them while I do the grocery shopping, etc. Yes, it some times gets old having to run everything around here, but I fully realize she does way more than a typical Dad would and am grateful for it.

And I agree about needing time alone, but that time does come as the kids age. Its the putting babies in daycare for a little "me time" that I disagree with...

OK,I'm getting it more!Maybe I'm alittle slow! I agree that putting babies and toddlers in childcare should only be done out of neccesity.Some do not have a choice.
Also,I did not mean that you were not able to bond with your children.My only point was the actual time that I was physically with my kids when breast feeding.PERIOD.No big knock to any non-breast feeders,fathers or adoptive parents.
My husband and I did spend all our time with our kids when they were little.They are older now,11,8 and 4 and some breaks away benefit everyone.

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by mommiewrites

This is going to be a little bit of a rant, so excuse me if you will- and it is NOT directed at those who have to work and need daycare (because that's a whole different situation), but rather those who are stay at home moms putting their kids in these types of places.

WHY? Let your kids be kids. Stop worrying about your kiddos 'intellectual' abilities. They learn through good, old fashioned play. You want to stay home with them, then STAY HOME WITH THEM. don't send them to a daycare for the day (or half day). Whats the point of you staying home?

Social Interaction- join a playgroup go to the park or the mall - one of our malls has a baby/toddler play area and theres ALWAYS kids in there!! My best friend has kids right around my sons age, and we get together about once a week and let them have fun! We talk in grown up words and they push cars around the floor. Its a win win situation! lol

Sorry- its just once of my pet peeves. Yes, moms need a break sometimes, I'll be the first in line to admit that, but thats where friends come in and your playtimes. Sometimes I watch my friends kids(3) so she can run errands or have her haircut and sometimes she watches mine so I can do the same!

I have a 22 month old, and I can't IMAGINE sending him to a daycare for ANY reason!

Well, let me answer your questions. I really don't care that SAH parents (mom or dad) drop their kids off at pre-school, daycare, whatever. If they do so, then obviously, there is a reason. Maybe they're lazy, maybe they're crazy, bored, need a break, whatever. All I know is that the kids are probably better off there than at home. You don't know what each parent goes through; some are pulling their hair out. If it helps them get a break, retain their sanity, or whatever else, I have no problem with that. I'd rather see them in daycare than at home unattended, or in a bad situation for whatever reason.

If Rusty Yates would have sent his kids to daycare instead of leaving them with his crazy wife, the five kids would still be alive today. There are legitimate reasons why kids are in daycare.

Good for you that you can't see sending your 22 month old to daycare. Then you've made the right decision for you. Don't worry what everyone else does.