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Old 02-18-2008, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,444,336 times
Reputation: 1500

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So if she termed herself as a 'homemaker' instead of SAHM would that make the situation acceptable?

I know what your saying. I have a friend who has 2 kids and both are in daycare fulltime. Her husband is a physician and she just does whatever she wants. She deems herself as a homemaker not a SAHM.

 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,444,336 times
Reputation: 1500
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommiewrites View Post
what bothers me most is parents putting their kids in daycare when there is no reason for it.

I know a lady who put her 4 year old twins in daycare (full day) because she was 'tired of dealing with them'.

ALL mother's work (okay, not all, some don't deserve the title- but I'm pretty sure most of the ones on here do! )

Well, If she is 'tired of dealing with them' ...maybe it is SAFER to have them somewhere else...Obviously she needs some kind of mental break and is not getting it... I don't believe in just sucking it up and dealing with it because it is 'mother's work'....Tell that to Andrea Yates.

I don't judge anyone for their parenting choices...What works for some may not work for others.
 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 932,204 times
Reputation: 326
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Danielle* View Post
So if she termed herself as a 'homemaker' instead of SAHM would that make the situation acceptable?

I know what your saying. I have a friend who has 2 kids and both are in daycare fulltime. Her husband is a physician and she just does whatever she wants. She deems herself as a homemaker not a SAHM.
see...why have kids if you want strangers to rear them? thats great her hubby makes enough that she doesnt have to work, but they decided to have kids and shes letting daycare raise them.

am i the only one who sees that as a problem? She doesnt have to work- so its not as if the kids are there because she has to put food on the table- they are there because she doesnt want to deal with them.
 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:35 AM
 
Location: bumcrack Nebraska
438 posts, read 1,360,424 times
Reputation: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoaminRed View Post
Different parenting styles for different people. Unless the child is being ill-treated, it's nobody's business whether or not the mom or dad needs a few hours break and chooses to allow the kid to socialize with their peers during that time.
Thank you for saying that.
 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Chicago's burbs
1,013 posts, read 4,062,066 times
Reputation: 905
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Danielle* View Post
So if she termed herself as a 'homemaker' instead of SAHM would that make the situation acceptable?

I know what your saying. I have a friend who has 2 kids and both are in daycare fulltime. Her husband is a physician and she just does whatever she wants. She deems herself as a homemaker not a SAHM.
Yes, I guess the term homemaker would make more sense in that situation. But I still don't understand it, mainly because I enjoy spending time with my child, and wouldn't want to put him in full time day care if I didn't have to. I cherish the fact that I get to be with him all day. But to each their own, I guess.
 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,696,279 times
Reputation: 1368
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommiewrites View Post
see...why have kids if you want strangers to rear them? thats great her hubby makes enough that she doesnt have to work, but they decided to have kids and shes letting daycare raise them.

am i the only one who sees that as a problem? She doesnt have to work- so its not as if the kids are there because she has to put food on the table- they are there because she doesnt want to deal with them.
Honestly...why is this an issue for you? Has she come up to you and said "I don't want to deal with my kids, that's why they're here"? If not, then how can you suppose that you know what's going on in their lives that they need/want things this way? And really, let's get right down to it...if she's just doing it because she doesn't want to deal with the kids, then they're better off in the daycare anyway, and all the "real" stay-at-home moms can go on feeling superior that they're doing it oh so much better.
 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,444,336 times
Reputation: 1500
I don't know what their personal reasons are for putting their kids in daycare. It takes 2 to decide if they want a family. It is not just the woman making the decision...Maybe her husband wanted the kids and she is just not as maternal as she thought she would be. I mean...why should she care for her kids at home if does not want to? Where do you draw the line in what you want as a person?

She is a fantastic mom. Her kids are well behaved, smart and healthy. What would they be with a unhappy mother raising them day in and day out?

Some people just don't have that maternal feeling or desire to be at home raising their kids. That does not make them bad parents or wrong in their decision.
 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 932,204 times
Reputation: 326
I don't claim to be any better than any other parent out there. we all do our best, even when its in different ways. i make mistakes, as do you, and every one else on here...

but why label yourself a sahm if youre sending your kids to daycare 40+ hours a week?
 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,286,927 times
Reputation: 2657
I stayed at home with my son until he went to kindergarten - he went to preschool. Lots and lots of people send their kids to preschool or daycare. While I as at home with my kids, I watched kids in my own house - and let me tell you - I don't think for one minute that because their moms had to work or chose to work that I was raising them. That is a notion that needs to be addressed. Kids know who their moms and dads are - and that is who they care about. They will always follow the examples of their parents vs. provider (in most cases anyway) - And in a "daycare" situation - there are usually many different people there - its not a replacement - kids know that. I loved all those kids I watched - I miss them all still. I sent my son to preschool because IMO, as his mother, that is what I thought was good for him. There is nothing wrong with wanting your children in preschool. I think for you to judge people (mothers) on this decision merely shows your ignorance about the real world. If you don't want to send your kids to preschool or daycare then don't - but just because there are people out there that do doesn't mean we love our kids any less.
 
Old 02-18-2008, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,444,336 times
Reputation: 1500
Me, make mistakes? Never....

Just kidding...


Labeling is labeling...Call yourself what you want...I really could care less to get all caught up in the definition of a SAHM...It just seems petty to me. As long as kids are healthy, thriving and cared for...that is what matters in the grand scheme. Not that someone calls themself a SAHM and isn't...by your opinion.
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