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Old 03-07-2008, 10:19 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
421 posts, read 1,334,661 times
Reputation: 124

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"Yeah, people have that right now, its called life insurance and savings..."
orrmobl:
Not everyone has life insurance or savings. You can't assume everyone has that. Some jobs don't offer, some can't afford it and some can't even afford to save. You shouldn't generalize your comments because it can offend people.

 
Old 03-08-2008, 06:27 AM
 
2,154 posts, read 4,413,797 times
Reputation: 2165
You are so closed minded it isn't even funny. Maybe they feel sorry for your children because you don't allow them the freemdom away from you to learn to become independent without having mommy & daddy hover over them. Maybe these kids like going to daycare and being with friends.

Insurance and savings.. ummm and how on earth do you think insurance is paid for? How the hell do you think people save up money? Lets see.. by working. Unless you know of another way, but I highly doubt it.

And as far as saying feeling sorry for parents because they are missing out on the best experience of their lives. Well, that is your OPINION and you know what they say about opinions


Quote:
Originally Posted by orrmobl View Post
Yeah, people have that right now, its called life insurance and savings...




As far as affecting me personally...have you ever gone to pick up your kid from half day preschool and seen how attention starved some of the other kids are? I chat them up as best as I can but I can't help but feel guilty because my son gets to go home with me after 4 hours and only 3 days a week while some of them are there 50+ hours week in and week out...think about it...

And I'm definitely not jealous. I feel sorry for their children. And I feel sorry for the parents because they are missing out on some of the best experiences life has to offer, by choice.
 
Old 03-08-2008, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Back in MADISON Wi thank God!
1,047 posts, read 3,979,807 times
Reputation: 1419
I would just say that MOST of us don't REALLY know what it's like to have kids until we have them.I know I didn't! I wanted kids very badly,and feel blessed everyday that I have them.My 2 boys went to preschool because I worked.I stopped working when my daughter was born.Even though I stay home,when she was 3 1/2, she started preschool 3 half days a week.I believe it benefits her,and quite frankly,it's nice to have afew hours apart.Did I know this is how I would feel before I had kids? Of course not! I wanted kids so badly that I expected I would always want to be with them.But the fact is,for me, alittle break is nice.Why in the world would that bother someone? Sometimes my husband is home during the day and preschool gives us time to spend together,just the two of us ,when we're not too tired from a work day or a day spent with the kids running them through their activities and playgroups.I think that a husband/wife relationship is THE most important part of the whole picture.When that is not nurtured,there is no doubt the kids will really suffer.Do you never get a babysitter at night either, to go out with your husband?Is it just the fact you feel you are the only one qualified to interact with your children? I don't get it.Just because we have kids and love our kids and want to teach and spend time with our kids does not mean we have to be attached at the hip 24/7.
 
Old 03-08-2008, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Back in MADISON Wi thank God!
1,047 posts, read 3,979,807 times
Reputation: 1419
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommiewrites View Post
This is going to be a little bit of a rant, so excuse me if you will- and it is NOT directed at those who have to work and need daycare (because that's a whole different situation), but rather those who are stay at home moms putting their kids in these types of places.

WHY? Let your kids be kids. Stop worrying about your kiddos 'intellectual' abilities. They learn through good, old fashioned play. You want to stay home with them, then STAY HOME WITH THEM. don't send them to a daycare for the day (or half day). Whats the point of you staying home?

Social Interaction- join a playgroup go to the park or the mall - one of our malls has a baby/toddler play area and theres ALWAYS kids in there!! My best friend has kids right around my sons age, and we get together about once a week and let them have fun! We talk in grown up words and they push cars around the floor. Its a win win situation! lol

Sorry- its just once of my pet peeves. Yes, moms need a break sometimes, I'll be the first in line to admit that, but thats where friends come in and your playtimes. Sometimes I watch my friends kids(3) so she can run errands or have her haircut and sometimes she watches mine so I can do the same!

I have a 22 month old, and I can't IMAGINE sending him to a daycare for ANY reason!
Some of us would just like a break more than "once in awhile" and some of us don't have those kinds of friends close by to do those exchanges with.And,as someone else mentioned,I have no interest in sitting around chatting with other moms on a regular basis.For me,the break needed is alone,quiet time, or time with my husband.
 
Old 03-08-2008, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 4,480,427 times
Reputation: 1924
Quote:
Originally Posted by L.K. View Post
Some of us would just like a break more than "once in awhile" and some of us don't have those kinds of friends close by to do those exchanges with.And,as someone else mentioned,I have no interest in sitting around chatting with other moms on a regular basis.For me,the break needed is alone,quiet time, or time with my husband.

I agree~ There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that we just need a break-period. There shouldn't be any shame in that...
When "you" are working, you get breaks during the day,right?
Some may not take them as often as others,but the opportunity,for the most part, is there.
When home with children all day,really, there isn't that much of an opportunity. At least when you have young ones that don't nap any longer.

Unfortunately, I don't live near any family and have a few close friends where I live. I do not leave my children with a babysitter-ever. Have never had a weekend away with my husband since our oldest-who is almost 6.
We haven't ever looked into a babysitter, which is completely our fault and we know that.
We know that our relationship needs to come first,but when you don't live near family, it is a difficult thing.

I believe again, that the working vs. non-working is such a personal decision, it is wrong for either side to judge the other....

What is wrong in my opinion,is the working parent who can afford to stay home and then continually says things such as "you are soooo lucky to be able to be home all day", " I can't get anything done when I get home from work",etc...
I am sure we all know someone like that... I have an issue with those that can truly afford to stay home,that choose not to, but yet continue to day in and day out, complain about their jobs. Their nails are always done because they get them done on their lunch breaks,they run their errands after work before picking up their kids from their child care and basically come home to a clean house because there isn't anyone there all day to make the mess!

Again though, these people are rare, I just believe that for the most part, it is better for some to be working parents and others to be at home.
 
Old 03-08-2008, 04:45 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,699,320 times
Reputation: 1858
As far as affecting me personally...have you ever gone to pick up your kid from half day preschool and seen how attention starved some of the other kids are? I chat them up as best as I can but I can't help but feel guilty because my son gets to go home with me after 4 hours and only 3 days a week while some of them are there 50+ hours week in and week out...think about it...
Well, that happens to me too, when I go pick up my kids and the rest don't want to stay behind...I also feel sorry for the kiddos, but oh well.......IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM.

And I'm definitely not jealous. I feel sorry for their children. And I feel sorry for the parents because they are missing out on some of the best experiences life has to offer, by choice.[/quote]
Like I said I feel sorry BUT would prefer that over reading about them in the newspaper because the mother/father did something to them because of issues they had w/the child; sad but true that there are a lot of "Andrea Yates" people out there and really, if she would have had a break once in a while, taken responsibility for her inner problems & done something about it, perhaps her children would still be with her....
 
Old 03-08-2008, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,931,031 times
Reputation: 3946
I keep thinking this thread is going to finally die off - but it hasn't so I will finally add my two cents for what it's worth.
Unless we INTIMATELY know someone - and I mean REALLY know them, we can in no way understand why they make the decisions they do. To assume that someone can afford to stay home with their children but don't, or is leaving them at a day care for 50 hours a week, or that children are starved for attention..... you see their children for a tiny window when you pick up a child or briefly talk with a parent. Even if you think you are friends with someone - there is only one person in my life that knows most of the intimate details of my life, my family life, etc. I would hate to think (and I know they do), that people judge me for the minute amount of time they see me or my son in a certain setting. Most people hide the details of their lives.
It is a shame that people, women especially, are so judgmental of each other and act like life is a competition. Worry about yourself and your family. Until you have walked in another person's shoes, you will never really know what they deal with. Just because they have a nice house, manicured nails, say certain things to portray an image because they are hiding what really may be going on, etc.....well, just be happy with your situation if you are happy with it and stop putting so much effort into everyone else's unless that is what makes you feel better and validates you. Then I guess - well that would be a different thread.
 
Old 03-08-2008, 09:28 PM
 
170 posts, read 580,576 times
Reputation: 55
Well, I am jumping on this one................what EVER happened to just being a SAHM, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and so on(yes, it CAN be done and was done for a VERY long time) like "back in the day" when families were LARGE. Were/are children of large families neglected,etc because the parents just could NOT spend one on one time with each kid. I don't think so. So SAHM's? SAH WITH your children. If that is what you are than be it or don't give yourself that title.
 
Old 03-09-2008, 05:35 AM
 
Location: Back in MADISON Wi thank God!
1,047 posts, read 3,979,807 times
Reputation: 1419
Quote:
Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey View Post
Well, I am jumping on this one................what EVER happened to just being a SAHM, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and so on(yes, it CAN be done and was done for a VERY long time) like "back in the day" when families were LARGE. Were/are children of large families neglected,etc because the parents just could NOT spend one on one time with each kid. I don't think so. So SAHM's? SAH WITH your children. If that is what you are than be it or don't give yourself that title.
I am a "stay-at home mom", I do not go to a job outside of my house.I have children,therefore I am a mom.My daughter goes to preschool,she loves it,I love it, my husband loves it.None of anyone's business what I call myself.
 
Old 03-09-2008, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,931,031 times
Reputation: 3946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Softtail_Honey View Post
So SAHM's? SAH WITH your children. If that is what you are than be it or don't give yourself that title.
I'm unclear as to why women who stay at home with their children are so protective of that title and don't want women who stay home with their children but put their children in preschool a couple of days during the week for a couple of hours not on the same par?

This is almost getting funny.

My son is now 14. He's a straight A student, very respectful young man, works for our business part time and loves hanging out with his parents. I was a stay at home mom. But he went to preschool for a couple of hours a couple of times a week - Oh my! When he started kindergarten I still didn't work outside the home? What happens to the title then for those who don't think you should be called a SAHM unless you spend every minute with your child? Does it get stripped away? Is that a Part time SAHM? I still don't work out side the home. I run my business from our home office. Hmmmmm....wonder what title that should be.....
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