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Did the son also happen to ruin the grandparents car that they had been letting the sister use?
Does your "friend" also have another son who has been in jail?
Is the son's girlfriend pregnant?
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Originally Posted by Snowed08
As many of you know my youngest son is currently living with us. He's 19 and will be 20 in a few months. He flunked out of college his freshman year because he got into partying and wasn't studying or going to class. My husband likes to put some of the blame on his girlfriend because her parents would take her to his college and drop her off for a week at a time. My husband still holds that against him but I told him it's time to let that go.
Well, my son is now enrolled in a graphic design class and will finish up the program some time this coming Aug. He was working and using my niece, his cousin's car while she is away at college but when he wouldn't change the oil and do the regular maintenance on it the engine locked up and is now sitting at my parent's house. My husband said that he's got it too easy and everyone is doing everything for him. My dad is now picking him up and taking him to and from school daily. His girlfriend pays for their dates and even her parents will let him come stay with them for a couple of days and even take him on vacations with them. I'll give him my car on the weekends to go see his girlfriend because he is still a good kid. My husband thinks he needs more responsibilities so early in Feb. he told my son that he had till the end of the month to get a job. There are a number of fast food restaurants, grocery stores, auto parts stores and things within a mile of our house. My husband told him to walk up to these places and put in applications at every one of them. A few days ago my husband asked him if he had put in the applications and he said no because he was waiting to finish his graphic design class and get a sales position with a company. My husband hit the roof. That afternoon I took him up to those places and let him put in applications.
Well, his class is having a Taco Tuesday today and last night we all were out at the store and he needed some taco sauce cause that's what he was suppose to bring. We needed milk and a few things for the house so when we got to the register my son slid his taco sauce in with the other groceries and my husband paid for them. Yes, he made mention to the fact that he was paying for my son's stuff but let it go. This morning he sent me an email saying that he felt suckered into buying that sauce for him. If you're not working and have no money then you don't volunteer to bring anything. He told me that he felt suckered last night cause when we got to the register I told him to "just pay for it, it's only $2."
He said that I should have never driven him up to those restaurants given that they are only a mile down the road. Now he feels he's going to be dependent on me to get him to and from work if he gets one of those jobs.
Why doesn't he understand a mother is going to do what ever she needs to do to help her kids?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowed08
Ever since my parents fixed the car (put a new motor in it) and gave it back to my son he's been down his girlfriend's house just about everyday. So much so until he's starting to neglect his chores at home. He goes to class in the morning then leaves there and goes straight to his girlfriend's house until 9 or 10 PM each night. My husband came home the other night from work and one of my son's chores is to take the dogs out on sunny days to let them get some air and to clean up the sunroom where we keep them. He, my husband, said he walked in the house and the entire place smelled like dogs. My son left school and instead of coming home first to do his chores he went straight to his girlfriend's house. It's gotten to the point to where he hasn't even changed the linen on his bed in weeks. My husband asked him about it the other day and he still hasn't changed the sheets.
My husband told me last night an old saying his mom loves to say. He said "he's going to run out!" I wasn't sure what he meant by that so I asked. He said he's down there everyday and as an adult he wouldn't want to come home every day after long hours to walk in and there's your son or daughter's boyfriend or girlfriend always sitting there. When they go out to eat they always take him which means they have to pay for him cause he's not working. Today is his birthday and they are taking him to an NBA basketball game and out to eat. I feel like if they don't mind doing that then what's the problem? My husband says that I needed to say something to him but I don't see the problem if they are fine with it.
What can I do to get my husband to understand that he's not doing anything wrong? Her parents love him and enjoy having him around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowed08
I know I'm going to take a beating on this but I'm going to do it anyway. Yes, these boards are my therapy when I feel I can't talk to my husband.
As you all know my 19 year old son is back home with us after failing out of college last year. He has been driving my niece's car while she's away at school and when she comes home for breaks she takes her car back. Well, my husband has constantly said to my son that as long as he has the car he could at least keep up the maintenance on it. From previous posts my son and his brother broke the windshield in the car and even though my husband said they both should be held liable to replace it, the windshield was never fixed. My son was driving around with the bright lights on because she didn't feel he wanted to buy the replacement bulbs then the high beam lights still worked.
Well, my husband constantly preaches about changing the oil in the car. He says "that's the life's blood of a car and as long as you keep that changed the car should last you a while. He even showed my son 3 different times how to change the oil but I guess my son wasn't that interested in learning cause every time it needed to be changed he'd have to ask my husband how to do it again. Well, this last time when the oil light came on, instead of changing it he'd just put another quart in it. He overfilled the oil and since my niece was home for the past month for winter break from college she had the car. We had to get my son to and from school and work. My niece left this past Sat and when my son went and picked up the car he was driving it somewhere and the engine died. My husband tried to rip him a new one but my son said, "I didn't have the car for the past month. It was her responsibility to change the oil." My husband was livid saying, "she's letting you use the care scott free and you can't even take $25 to change the oil." At that point I jumped in and told him it's too late to worry about that now. My parent's aren't going to nor can they afford to fix the car so most likely it will be junked. Now my son nor niece have transportation.
I asked my husband if his dad wouldn't mind picking my son up and taking him to school everyday and my husband literally laughed saying he's almost 80 and isn't in the best of health so no, he wasn't even going to ask him. I then asked if his mom wouldn't mind letting my son use her car. Again my husband said no. Both his parents are retired and just sit at home all day. When one of his brother or sister's cars has to go to the shop his mom will just give them her car. I don't see why she won't do it so my son can get back and forth to school and work.
My husband likes to say, "no one drives you car like you do" meaning, you're not going to abuse or tear up your own stuff. This weekend I was arguing with my husband about his truck. He doesn't loan it out to ANYONE. He hardly lets me drive it. He's had it about 2 years and I've probably driven it maybe 20 times. He's NEVER even let my son get in the driver's seat much less even back it out of the driveway. He says I need to cut the apron strings and let him grow up and handle his business. I just feel that as his mom I need to be there for him.
My husband said that ever time my son wants to go somewhere I just hand over my keys. Yes, he's 19 and still at home but he's a good kid. He's in school taking classes and he's going to be a dad soon cause he and his 20 year old girlfriend decided they were ready for a baby. Nothing we can do about that. He's my son and I need to be there for him.
I just feel that he's not willing to lift a finger to help my son. I know he's right but I just don't know what to do.
If so, I'll never understand why people continue to create another thread discussing a previous situation. What advice didn't they receive on the other one that they hope to achieve in the new one? What's the purpose of creating another handle just to do this?
She was asked, when the phone was on speaker and she heard her sister-in-law ask if she'd serve as a hostess. That was the time to open her damn mouth and say ya or na. What's wrong with her, at that point, just saying, "Hey SIL, this is snowed. I'm on speaker and I really don't feel comfortable doing that so I'm going to pass this time." No, she kept her mouth shut and them jumped down her husband's throat after he hung up the phone. She wasn't in the next room, she was sitting right there.
Zero. But there are women out there who are ok with dating losers. I have a cousin who is about 22, I don't think he's ever had a job, but he's had a girlfriend for several years and they both live with his mom. His mom also has a live in boyfriend who doesn't work and is generally a loser, so my cousin's mom and girlfriend are the only two people in the house with jobs and the men don't do anything.
Funny those are the men who have an easy time attracting women.
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