U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-19-2008, 10:03 AM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 5,635,209 times
Reputation: 1280

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by RoaminRed View Post
Well, because he LIKES it and because it WORKS and because I'm TOO DAMN POOR to buy a fancy schmancy baby carrier, okay? Geeze...baby's not going to care if he's in a fabric purse or in a fabric baby-sling.

LOL
LOL Great post.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-19-2008, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Utah
1,455 posts, read 3,499,071 times
Reputation: 1523
Quote:
Went to the bank about a week after he was born, and set the purse in front of me on the counter while I was doing business. My son decides to wake up, pops an arm up out of the bag, and the teller gave me such a glare of disdain you wouldn't believe. "You have a BABY in there?!" she gasped. "How could you put a BABY in a PURSE
Poor?? No, try AHEAD OF YOUR TIME!!

Your should try marketing it to that dog-in-your-purse-crowd...they'll be having babies when those dogs get boring!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2008, 10:28 AM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 5,635,209 times
Reputation: 1280
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Your post is the perfect example of why it is so idiotic of other mothers to criticize their peers! Why would we want to do that?

It makes me so sad to think about how you were made to feel, as a new mother, that perhaps you were doing something "wrong." This is what I mean about the attitude we women need to project to new mothers - we should be there to bolster, support, empathize . . . rather than condescend, judge and criticize. None of us has all the answers; none of us is perfect. The best we can do is just that . . . the best we can do at any one given moment. We get exhausted, confused, exasperated and we start doubting ourselves. Too bad others around us tend to be critical and demoralize us further rather than help us find ways to cope w/ whatever is facing us at that point in our lives.

I can assure you . . . when you have a screaming child and you walk out w/ her, screaming and kicking, there are many who are feeling total sympathy and concern for you. Sadly, there may be some who are being judgmental, but they have not walked in your shoes - so their opinion does not count!!!

I admire you for pushing forward even when you felt all alone (and I am sure you have felt that way). But shame on every woman who was in your circle and didn't step up to give you a pat on the back, a listening ear, a helping hand.

Thanks for the post. I live in a small town and see a few people on a regular basis that have rude remarks until I told them about my child having autism. I think that made them realize that offering up their *advice* may not be the best route. At least I hope it has. At the same time I am now more understanding of others too, because you just don't know what they are dealing with. Its easy to sit back and judge, and I am guilty of that too. Unless a kid is doing something dangerous, I don't butt in. I know the feeling of being on the receiving side, and its not fun.

There are plenty of things other parents do that bother me. I volunteer at in my son's class once a week. There are kids in his class that come to school dirty, wearing clothes 2 sizes too small, and their hair has huge tangles. Those are things really bother me because its an easy fix but the parents chose not to do it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2008, 10:33 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,367,998 times
Reputation: 22274
Quote:
Originally Posted by sbd78 View Post
I thought of another thing that drives me nuts. Guilt trips over how you give birth. Who cares if Mommy has a natural birth or an epidural birth or a c-section birth, as long as baby arrives healthy and Mom is healthy.

And to all you Mommys that were guilt tripped about your c-sections (because I have heard that happens a lot), vaginal births aren't always all they are cracked up to be either. My poor little guy had the WORST cone head when he was born. Seriously, he looked like a little arrow. Doctors and nurses all commented about what a bad cone head he had when they came in my room after he was born. C-section babies don't have to deal with their head getting pushed and squeezed and they don't end up looking like a Saturday night live character. Luckily, his conehead eventually went away.
It took me several years to get over the "shame" others made me feel about having a C-section. On top of it, I had been in excruciating back labor 25 hours, trying so hard, w/ a pit drip, a cervix that would not dilate, and a breach baby. When his heart rate started diving, it was an emergency C-section - and a baby w/ cord tied around his neck! And you would not believe what people said to me "Oh, you took the easy way out!!!!"

On top of it, the long labor had torn a large inguinal hernia, wh/ I kept complaining about - went to three different OB/GYNs trying to find out what was wrong ("Oh, you just have scar tissue, you will learn to deal w/ it"). The fourth Ob/GYN said - "I think you have a hernia" and sent me to the surgeon, who said "How on earth have you been walking around with this for a year and a half?"

Well, I hardly was walking around. I walked stooped over and the pain I experienced w/ even bending to pick up my baby was beyond description.

Yet, the whole time, I was feeling ashamed b/c I was not "healing" like other mothers (from the C-section) and if I expressed to anyone that I was still in so much pain . . . I got nothing but disdainful comments, including "you don't know what pain is - you didn't even have an epidural."

So believe me, I have reasons for my mission to be supportive to new mothers. No one knows what someone else's situation is - and the last thing new mothers need are sarcastic, condescending comments from other mothers, of all people!!!!

And Roamin - I think your "purse solution" was wonderful - you should have marketed it. Probably would have made millions of $$$.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2008, 11:03 AM
 
Location: bumcrack Nebraska
438 posts, read 1,361,920 times
Reputation: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by sbd78 View Post
I thought of another thing that drives me nuts. Guilt trips over how you give birth. Who cares if Mommy has a natural birth or an epidural birth or a c-section birth, as long as baby arrives healthy and Mom is healthy.

And to all you Mommys that were guilt tripped about your c-sections (because I have heard that happens a lot), vaginal births aren't always all they are cracked up to be either. My poor little guy had the WORST cone head when he was born. Seriously, he looked like a little arrow. Doctors and nurses all commented about what a bad cone head he had when they came in my room after he was born. C-section babies don't have to deal with their head getting pushed and squeezed and they don't end up looking like a Saturday night live character. Luckily, his conehead eventually went away.
This irks the bejesus out of me as well. This is a case of when the ends do justify the means. All that really matters is the baby. Who gives a flying flip how that baby comes out?

And its not just the c-section ladies who get weird looks. I chose natural, unmedicated childbirth with my last, not because I thought it was cool, hip, or trendy, but because I hated the epidural I had with my first. I had people looking at me like I was crazy for choosing that. People actually asked me "Why?". Because I feel like it that's why!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2008, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 3,456,241 times
Reputation: 807
Quote:
Originally Posted by momlady530 View Post
This irks the bejesus out of me as well. This is a case of when the ends do justify the means. All that really matters is the baby. Who gives a flying flip how that baby comes out?

And its not just the c-section ladies who get weird looks. I chose natural, unmedicated childbirth with my last, not because I thought it was cool, hip, or trendy, but because I hated the epidural I had with my first. I had people looking at me like I was crazy for choosing that. People actually asked me "Why?". Because I feel like it that's why!

LOL...I'd be one to ask Why? Not in a bad way though. I loved my epidural since my labor was long and difficult. I'd have probably died from the pain without it But again, that's a personal decision. I never thought anyone was bad for having a c-section, must have missed that memo! I wished I'd decided to have one!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2008, 04:32 PM
 
Location: bumcrack Nebraska
438 posts, read 1,361,920 times
Reputation: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by austinsmom View Post
LOL...I'd be one to ask Why? Not in a bad way though. I loved my epidural since my labor was long and difficult. I'd have probably died from the pain without it But again, that's a personal decision. I never thought anyone was bad for having a c-section, must have missed that memo! I wished I'd decided to have one!
I can tell you that I asked each time for them to just cut the thing out of me. Course its a little late when you're pushing, but I asked anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2008, 06:41 PM
 
1,363 posts, read 5,348,348 times
Reputation: 848
Default New player on the field

If only it were just strangers we had to contend with. I was talking with my grandmother today who basically told me that it's because I work and my daughter is in daycare that she doesn't speak as well as my cousin's son who is 6 months younger than my 2 year old and is home with his mom all day. My daughter speaks just fine, and my cousin's son is very advanced. She didn't come right out and blatantly say it, but I can speak "Evelynese" and know that is what she meant when she said what she said. LOL. I called my cousin's wife, who can speak "the language" as well, told her that she is the standard the rest of us in the family are being held to, and we had a good laugh. Lucky for g-ma I'm not the super sensitive type.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2008, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,455,862 times
Reputation: 1500
I just do the very best I can...and leave it at that. And anyone who don't like it, can look away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2008, 07:24 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,367,998 times
Reputation: 22274
Quote:
Originally Posted by regarese View Post
If only it were just strangers we had to contend with. I was talking with my grandmother today who basically told me that it's because I work and my daughter is in daycare that she doesn't speak as well as my cousin's son who is 6 months younger than my 2 year old and is home with his mom all day. My daughter speaks just fine, and my cousin's son is very advanced. She didn't come right out and blatantly say it, but I can speak "Evelynese" and know that is what she meant when she said what she said. LOL. I called my cousin's wife, who can speak "the language" as well, told her that she is the standard the rest of us in the family are being held to, and we had a good laugh. Lucky for g-ma I'm not the super sensitive type.
Yes, lucky for grandma - but dear me - so sorry you had to deal with that. Now why on earth do we do this to each other????? WHY WHY WHY? I do not understand. I heard the same kind of goofy stuff . . . and thank goodness, I had other women around me who were there to say - What a crock - ignore it.

That was a PRIME EXAMPLE of exactly what the OP was saying- when did parenting become a competitive sport? Pitting your child against your cousin's son . . . now why did that even need to be said? ARRRRGGGHHHH.

So glad you can laugh about it after-the-fact.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top