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Old 02-19-2008, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,287,727 times
Reputation: 2657

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Hi everyone!

DH and I are thinking about leaving NJ and moving to SC or NC. I have 2 children. 14 and 5. DH (14) is an honor student and a cheerleader - lots of friends - seems happy. DS - is well....he's 5 LOL. Anyhoo - I'd like to know what your experiences may have been moving with a teenager that is happy - but is also excited at the prospect of moving to a new state. I don't want to make a huge mistake. NJ is just so expensive anymore.

Thanks all - in advance!
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:16 AM
 
Location: in a house
5,835 posts, read 3,885,043 times
Reputation: 4890
It sounds like you are already ahead of the game if your teen is happy and excited about a new move! If you have to sell your home, well, that is another story considering the real estate market. I have moved with a teen just recently and although he hated us for taking him away from his favorite city, he now loves it here much more. In fact, he has so many friends here that I have to get him to settle down and focus on school work. If it is strickly finances that are making you consider a move, what about living in a less expensive home/apt. until your teen graduates? Do you depend on family at all to help with the kids? Do you have family in these other states? Having a kid that is looking at a move as a fun adventure is unrealistic and quite different once the move is made. Do plenty of research and discussion with the family before you do something you cannot reverse.
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,287,727 times
Reputation: 2657
Puffle, Thank you for your advice. My parents are getting ready to retire and move to Florida - so they are not a factor. My in -laws (outlaws really) are not the hands on type. They take the kids every once in a while - and they are good if my older one isn't feeling well and needs to go home from school (they'll just drop her off) - but other then that we don't really depend on them for anything. We talked to my daughter again about it last night - and what she said was "I'm tired of being known as the freaky smart girl". She is actually more popular then she realizes - but everyone does know her for her grades. We don't want to go to Florida - we were thinking South Carolina. On one hand - we have lived here our whole lives and we love NJ. On the other hand - we are working to pay for our house/taxes and barely making ends meet. We think that making a move would be more comfortable for us financially - of course after we have secured jobs. If we don't go this year, I'm afraid we may miss our chance. I'm just a little confused and am not sure what the right decision is. DH and I both feel the same way. We want to go, but we are afraid to mess our daughter up.
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Old 02-20-2008, 08:54 AM
 
Location: in a house
5,835 posts, read 3,885,043 times
Reputation: 4890
nic529, How do you think this will mess up your daughter? To have stressed out parents that maybe having financial issues is not a good thing...I know this personally. But you must be realistic that in this poor real estate market, that if you put your house on the market, it could sit there for quite awhile for it sells. I know of so many people that want to move and have had their homes for sale for almost a year and can't budge. You could rent it out for now to at least pay your mortgage until the market improves so you can move and then rent when you find your new place. Just a suggestion. Not sure what a freaky smart girl is? Is she called this because being smart is unusual in her school? You have a lot of research ahead of you besides the answers you will get here. Good school districts all come with a price but I would guess where you want to move is less, but you still have to find jobs! Whatever you do, don't stress your daughter out with all the preliminary things you need to accomplish before you can move. I would wait until ALL your ducks are in a row and then let her know it is happening. Moving before summer is over is good for kids so they can get their bearings and make friends before school starts. My best wishes for you and your family.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,287,727 times
Reputation: 2657
I'm only concerned that she may not like it. I don't think she'll have a problem making friends, but I know that moving is hard. And I don't want her grades to suffer. Hmm...freaky smart girl......no - being smart is not unusual in our school, but for some reason thats how her friends have pegged her. Most of her group of friends are B students - she got a 99 in algebra...she hasn't gotten a B in 3 years. So, I guess thats why.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:33 AM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 6,450,688 times
Reputation: 3061
Nic....my family has moved 15 times in the last 14years. We have uprooted our kids more times than I can remember. Its never easy but they do adapt. It sounds like your daughter doesn't mind the move so that would make it easier for all involved. I think once the adjustment period is over she will take to her new environment like a champ. You have to make the move exciting. Research the area, find all the different things she can do and places to go that would interest her. At 14 she should be old enough to understand why financially this would be a good thing for your family.

Our last and hopefully final move was from Ca to Tx. My older boys (then 9and 10) didn't want to go at all. We explained to them in blunt terms that we were struggling in Ca. In Tx we would be able to buy a house, have money to put them in sports, have a yard for them to play in etc. better schools, Dad wouldn't have to travel for work. All positives. It wasn't easy for them to leave but now after a year here they both have said they wouldn't go back for the world.

That she is at least interested in the move is a good and positive thing. Keep her in the loop while you are making the decisions and that should help tremendously.
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,287,727 times
Reputation: 2657
Well, I think all in all it would be better for everyone. But she is pretty quiet...she's not exactly the "go introduce yourself" kind of person. Once she gets to know you she's a blast....I'm worried for her I guess. She just keeps saying - no - I want to go! Moving away is hard.......now that we're getting to the serious point of the research I feel myself getting cold feet!
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Old 02-20-2008, 09:49 AM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 6,450,688 times
Reputation: 3061
You sound like a great mom. What Mom doesn't worry. LOL Moving stinks and is hard on everyone. Your daughter sounds like a great kid. You will figure it out.
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