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If you date a lot of women, avoid exposing that to your boys. There is really no reason for your sons to be exposed to a revolving door of women...only introduce them if you think it's serious.
Other than that, as long as you are a good role model for them otherwise (paying child support, ensuring they have what they need, not cussing or drinking or using drugs around them, etc.), I don't think you have anything to worry about, really. Yes, a "traditional" family is ideal, but that's not always an option. You have a tween and a teen...they're beyond the point of thinking about their parents not being together, because they have already thought about all of that. I would guarantee that they have classmates in all sorts of family situations.
Just be the best role model that you can be and be good to your boys.
Are you a good, kind and thoughtful person? Do you talk to them about your feelings and decisions in life? (obv for the three year old this is going to be "grrrr, I feel so angry because my favourite cup got broken") Do you show respect for other people? That's a good role model.
You sound kind of like a flake. Once you have kids, "enjoying your younger years" shouldn't be your priority - that should be the welfare of your kids. Hell, I get not wanting to settle down - I'm 40 and thinking about being in a long-term relationship gives me hives. But how much time did you spend with your kids when they were growing up?
I'm 45 and I have two sons aged 15 and 3 from different mothers. Neither of them was planned but their mothers wanted to keep the baby and I'm very happy they did
I've never had a stable relationship with any woman in my life. I get easily bored after a few months and wanted to enjoy my younger years as much as I could. Even though I'm still in shape and take care of myself, these days female is not what it used to be...and that's expected of course.
Both my sons have always lived with their mothers even though they spent weekends with me. Of course with the oldest this doesn't apply anymore. He spends time with me whenever he wants, as long as it doesn't disturb his own routine and his mother's life.
I do feel a little guilty regarding the oldest because when he was little I travelled a lot due to work and spent long periods away from him, missing birthdays, holidays, etc. Now I'm based at company HQ and have much more time available for the youngest.
However, some women in my family are very conservative and always talk like I'm a bad role model to them just because I don't have a "traditional structured family". I know at my age I shouldn't care about this chitchat anymore but it makes me mad.
I always kindly remind them I was born in a "traditional structured family" and my father didn't hesite on cheating with a hot babe and leaving my mother for her, not ever caring about us again. My mother was left with 3 children and struggled a lot to raise us.
Is this all conservative talk or am I really a bad role model to the boys?
You are a Egotistical, self-centered man based on your responses. Let's start with what I bolded above;
#1: You are happy that the "mother's" of your Sons wanted to keep the babies you sired ! You say that your Sons weren't planned but what did you think would happen having Unprotected sex? It's almost as if you wanted to place the blame of their pregnancies solely on them!
#2: Even though I'm still in shape and take care of myself, these days female is not what it used to be...and that's expected of course
What a sexist narcissistic statement you make about Women in general. You sound like Donald Trump !
#3: You feel a little guilty regarding the oldest because when he was little I travelled a lot due to work and spent long periods away from him, missing birthdays, holidays.
Ever watch the movie "Liar, Liar" with Jim Carrey? How do you miss your child's birthday? Unless you are a astronaut in space you have no excuse.
#4: Your father's behaviour is no excuse for you neglecting your children through out their lives.
I'm 45 and I have two sons aged 15 and 3 from different mothers. Neither of them was planned but their mothers wanted to keep the baby and I'm very happy they did
I've never had a stable relationship with any woman in my life. I get easily bored after a few months and wanted to enjoy my younger years as much as I could. Even though I'm still in shape and take care of myself, these days female is not what it used to be...and that's expected of course.
Both my sons have always lived with their mothers even though they spent weekends with me. Of course with the oldest this doesn't apply anymore. He spends time with me whenever he wants, as long as it doesn't disturb his own routine and his mother's life.
I do feel a little guilty regarding the oldest because when he was little I travelled a lot due to work and spent long periods away from him, missing birthdays, holidays, etc. Now I'm based at company HQ and have much more time available for the youngest.
However, some women in my family are very conservative and always talk like I'm a bad role model to them just because I don't have a "traditional structured family". I know at my age I shouldn't care about this chitchat anymore but it makes me mad.
I always kindly remind them I was born in a "traditional structured family" and my father didn't hesite on cheating with a hot babe and leaving my mother for her, not ever caring about us again. My mother was left with 3 children and struggled a lot to raise us.
Is this all conservative talk or am I really a bad role model to the boys?
You don't have to be married to be a good role model.
You only have to show your sons how to be a good man. You know, how to treat other human beings and animals with love and respect.
So have you followed in your dad's foot steps because he was a bad role model or is it just because of the way you're wired?
What you do with your personal life is one thing and how you interact with your kids is another.
I was raised by a womanizing, alcoholic, abusive father. He was a terrible role model, yet I managed to survive him. Towards the end of his young life there was no love lost between us.
If you spend quality time with them and treat them like a father vs a friend then you are a good role model. Just try not to teach your son that women are just playthings. That's shallow and sad.
If you date a lot of women, avoid exposing that to your boys. There is really no reason for your sons to be exposed to a revolving door of women...only introduce them if you think it's serious.
None of the women I've dated have ever met either of my sons.
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