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Old 02-20-2008, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
46 posts, read 161,677 times
Reputation: 50

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I don't think you're going to resolve this problem without taking the computer away. Believe me, he does NOT need it for homework. My kids do their homework with a word processor and BOOKS, and they are honor students. The fact is that, for many kids, the temptation is too much for them. It's like having a forbidden book on your nightstand and being left alone in the room with it. It takes character and principles and other things that aren't completely developed in a teenager in order to pass by such a temptation. Your son's actions have already made this clear. The best thing is not to expose them to it until they're adult enough to pass by the garbage. After all, would you let a naked young woman get into bed with your son and just hope he'd have enough self-control to ignore her?

 
Old 02-20-2008, 03:25 PM
 
Location: California
279 posts, read 1,037,942 times
Reputation: 160
Every family is different on how they handle these things. To tell a child especially a teenager to just say no, avoid or dont do it.. is a 50/50 chance they will listen.

I mean we need to just think back to when we were teenagers, it really hasnt been that long that we forgot al the stuff we did, got away with and or got caught doing... Sure things were a bit simpler back then, and with TV, cable, and internet it does add complex issues to the mix...

Yelling doesnt really help, punishment does, but as my kids say to their friends, I could do what I want, but then I dont know what my parents will do to me.

I never tell them the consequences for thier actions, and its the not knowing that adds that reminder of caution to them.
 
Old 02-20-2008, 03:39 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,977 posts, read 28,809,137 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexia319 View Post
I don't think you're going to resolve this problem without taking the computer away. Believe me, he does NOT need it for homework. My kids do their homework with a word processor and BOOKS, and they are honor students.
My 12 year old stepson is in an honors/gifted program at school and almost ALL of his homework is completed online. The school has a website that students have to use for many of their projects. I dont think taking away his computer rights would solve the problem. A filter program will be the best bet.
 
Old 02-20-2008, 03:46 PM
 
Location: South Bay Native
13,050 posts, read 21,163,651 times
Reputation: 22525
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexia319 View Post
I don't think you're going to resolve this problem without taking the computer away. Believe me, he does NOT need it for homework. My kids do their homework with a word processor and BOOKS, and they are honor students. The fact is that, for many kids, the temptation is too much for them. It's like having a forbidden book on your nightstand and being left alone in the room with it. It takes character and principles and other things that aren't completely developed in a teenager in order to pass by such a temptation. Your son's actions have already made this clear. The best thing is not to expose them to it until they're adult enough to pass by the garbage. After all, would you let a naked young woman get into bed with your son and just hope he'd have enough self-control to ignore her?
Maybe your honors kids go to a one-room schoolhouse? It is the 21st century after all. My son is in AVID and has several websites he MUST access for his classes. I'm glad you don't have this concern.

I will ignore the sophomoric question at the end of your post.
 
Old 02-20-2008, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,596 posts, read 34,556,906 times
Reputation: 14657
When I was a kid there were no computers. And my folks kept me busy enough I had no time to look at porn. When I got older I found I had no desire to watch other people "doing it".
 
Old 02-20-2008, 03:52 PM
 
Location: California
279 posts, read 1,037,942 times
Reputation: 160
I agree with Rance... as a kid we were also busy on weekends doing chores even as teenagers, when chores were done to the parents satisfaction, then we could go out. Home work was done every afternon, the minute we walked in from school right after we got changed out of school clothes and had a snack. Homework was then laid out for our parents to see and go over.

We didnt have computers until I was in my last year of high school.
 
Old 02-20-2008, 04:13 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,133,271 times
Reputation: 8048
It's definitely a different world than when I was in high school, WAY back in the late 80's. LOL

I don't believe in taking away the computer, as I do understand its benefits. Just, as a parent, do what you can to lessen the temptations. Put in the blocking software. Do what YOU can. He may find another way to satisfy his urges, but at least you've done what you can to prevent him from having carte blanche to everything on the net.
 
Old 02-20-2008, 04:20 PM
 
Location: California
279 posts, read 1,037,942 times
Reputation: 160
Isn't that how it always is?

and hope for the best? lets face it, once your kid walks out that door, you just hope what you ahve taught them has sunk in and helps them make the right choices.

Because lets face it, where there is a will there is away. We were all kids and we all did it. it hasnt changed, just the players have.
 
Old 02-20-2008, 04:21 PM
 
20,423 posts, read 26,550,284 times
Reputation: 13124
Don'th8me....I'm really glad to see someone handling this with as much common sense as you are. I really can't offer any advice, but I just wanted to say that so many parents would try to make this kid feel like even more than total dirt for just being relatively normal.
 
Old 02-20-2008, 04:26 PM
 
Location: California
3,432 posts, read 2,158,301 times
Reputation: 138
Teach him how to delete the history so you won't know about it
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