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Old 09-13-2016, 08:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
If your son is 11, it has probably by now retracted back.
My husband isn't circumcised, and he still has his "turtleneck" at 52. His doctor also checked to make sure it was clean, because some parents who have been circumcised don't know to clean it thoroughly to prevent infection.

OP, totally normal.

 
Old 09-13-2016, 09:30 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
How old is your daughter? That sounds like a fairly sophisticated statement for a child to make. How is a child supposed to know if there is a problem inside the underpants? If the child was very uncomfortable the first visit, I can see deferring, but at some point in time a quick glance would be a good idea to check for normal hair distribution and the like. My daughter was getting a sports physical at 14 and was dressed in a patient gown. The doctor examined her abdomen and saw a mole in her groin area which was normally covered up with underpants or a bathing suit bottom. She (doctor) said the mole should be removed. It turned out to be melanoma. I am grateful for doctors being thorough.


She was 10 when she said that to the doctor.

She has OCD and looks up health symptoms all the time...If she has a stomachache she will start looking up symptoms for everything from diverticulitis to ovarian cancer. So if she noticed something out of the ordinary, which I think she would notice, she'd probably be willing to let the doctor have a look. She's let me look at rashes and hives before because she wanted to know how to treat them.
 
Old 09-13-2016, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
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A genital exam is one way pediatricians discover childhood sexual abuse.
 
Old 09-13-2016, 10:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iaskwhy View Post
No, it really isn't very important. Between a couple of years old and puberty, there isn't that much that goes wrong down there.
Mostly right. Up until 3 or 4 years old, they're checking that the testicles have descended properly. Testicular cancer shows up starting at 13 to 15 at the earliest normally.. Then I think the highest risk is between 18 and 29 or so.

So, outside of checking for hernia, there's not a whole lot that needs to be checked 'down there' from say 5 to 11. At least on boys. They are checking for lumps, tenderness, etc in the testicles.. At about 11, they will be checking development.. Not, as OP said, checking for hair growth, but yes, that is something they'd notice.. They're likely more looking for whether puberty has started and is progressing normally. Remember that in boys, the testicles growing generally happens either before puberty or is the first sign of puberty starting. That happens, in general, several years before other sexual characteristics. Testicle growth may start at 10 while the 'normal' things we think of as puberty don't start until 13.

And, with the earlier and earlier puberty that is happening.. It can start happening at 8.

This attitude seems very concerning and parents allowing and/or encouraging the attitude of extreme modesty (Don't know what else to call it) when doctors are involved is troubling.

I get the whole "Don't allow anyone to touch you there", but we're talking doctors. Children need to be taught pretty much complete trust in their doctor. There's limits, but..

If the kid is taught/allowed they don't need to let the doctor check things, and this extreme modesty really takes root.. What's going to happen when they DO discover a lump on a testicle or rectal bleeding or similar? Will they avoid going to the doctor because they don't want someone to look at it?

Of course.. I'm from a different era.. I grew up right at the end of the 'safe' era. Communal showers at summer camp.. Showers required in high school after gym. 2 years after I was out of high school (91) is when all the hysteria really took over.

For the parents of girls.. Are they not going to have pap smears? No gyno visits as they get older?

Where does it turn from relieving stress by allowing them not to have these exams to being dangerous?


Oh.. My nephew's pediatrician had them completely naked and bending over.. Freaked their mother out.. But she was doing the scoliosis check, and just did that immediately after the testicular exam.
 
Old 09-13-2016, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
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Our ped still does this (my kids are middle schoolers) and asks my kids if they want me in the room or not during that part of their physical. My kids and I are very comfortable about that part of the exam, so they usually have me stay (I'm sure at some point they'll begin asking me to leave (son in particular)). My son has never been asked to drop trou, but he has been given a cursory look by the pediatrician. Same with my daughter, who will begin ob/gyn visits in the next couple of years. At that point I'll tell the pediatrician there's no need to check her as the other doctor will take care of that.
 
Old 09-13-2016, 11:09 AM
 
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Yes since it's a part of the body.

Bedside manners with children need to be priority. a physician should keep discretion and dignity in mind when performing the exam. Ours always had a nurse staff for note taking.
 
Old 09-13-2016, 11:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Yes since it's a part of the body.

This is pretty much what I thought all along.

I'm a bit surprised by all the kids who were creeped out or violently opposed to a doctor doing a routine medical checkup on their private areas. If my child put up such a fuss over a doctor checking for problems down there (in a medically appropriate way, of course), I would be scared my child had been abused at some point.

Even if certain checks are not standard for everyone, how could there be harm in a few seconds of clinically detached checking of whatever. It's not like the doctor is making sexual motions or anything.
 
Old 09-13-2016, 12:46 PM
 
Location: USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
How old is your daughter? That sounds like a fairly sophisticated statement for a child to make. How is a child supposed to know if there is a problem inside the underpants? If the child was very uncomfortable the first visit, I can see deferring, but at some point in time a quick glance would be a good idea to check for normal hair distribution and the like. My daughter was getting a sports physical at 14 and was dressed in a patient gown. The doctor examined her abdomen and saw a mole in her groin area which was normally covered up with underpants or a bathing suit bottom. She (doctor) said the mole should be removed. It turned out to be melanoma. I am grateful for doctors being thorough.



Oh, for pity's sake!



I've read chart notes on the older boys and seen that the doctor taught testicular self-exam.
Yes, I member the doctor telling me something about self-examination. This was a decade or so ago, the last time I went to a doctor.
 
Old 09-13-2016, 01:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
I'm a bit surprised by all the kids who were creeped out or violently opposed to a doctor doing a routine medical checkup on their private areas. If my child put up such a fuss over a doctor checking for problems down there (in a medically appropriate way, of course), I would be scared my child had been abused at some point.
Yes, the one especially where she told the doctor if he wanted her to take off any of her clothes he can forget it, stood out to me. I would think that either that child has been abused in some way, or the parent has, and spread the fear to the child. A child should not be afraid to take off their clothes for a physical. How in the world will she be able to have her yearly PAPs done?
 
Old 09-13-2016, 01:19 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Yes, the one especially where she told the doctor if he wanted her to take off any of her clothes he can forget it, stood out to me. I would think that either that child has been abused in some way, or the parent has, and spread the fear to the child. A child should not be afraid to take off their clothes for a physical. How in the world will she be able to have her yearly PAPs done?
She has OCD. She hasn't been abused, I haven't been abused, and I have no problem being examined by a doctor. I haven't passed any fears along to my daughter. OCD is not rational. She thinks her bottom is dirty and will contaminate everything it touches. Before we started treatment for the OCD, she was washing her hands and legs so much they bled. Now she's only washing a few times a day and changing her clothes several times a day. She also has intrusive sexual thoughts and intrusive thoughts about harming herself or others, but she's having the thoughts less often, maybe three or four times a day instead of three or four times an hour. OCD is an ugly thing to deal with. I didn't realize how awful it was until my kid had it...people joke about having OCD if they need to organize their sock drawer and that makes it sound silly and harmless, but it's not.

I think one of the doctors she saw before the OCD diagnosis suspected abuse because my daughter (at age 4) refused to remove her shirt. I had no idea why my daughter had such a problem taking her clothes off back then. The other symptoms that led to the OCD diagnosis hadn't started showing up yet, other than difficulty sleeping. The doctor insisted on examining her and I had to hold her down and pry her legs apart so the doctor could have a look. I was afraid to say no because the doctor was acting so suspicious. I knew nobody had been abusing my daughter, since I'd been home with her every minute since she was born. Being forcibly examined like that is the closest my daughter has ever come to being abused.

Anyhow, I have no idea how she will be able to have a PAP smear done. I have no idea how she will be able to even deal with a period, once she starts getting one. I have no idea how she will be able to grow up and have a healthy sexual relationship with anyone. We're taking it day by day, working on recognizing the OCD thoughts and learning how to ignore them. I don't think it ever goes away but it can certainly get better than it is right now.
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