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We constantly talk about not touching anyone else's guns unless the parents give you explicit permission and you know what it is.
This alone sets you FAR apart from many modern parents who ask if the family has guns before their child is permitted to go in their house--and if the answer is yes, no matter how locked up the guns may be, that house is banned.
This alone sets you FAR apart from many modern parents who ask if the family has guns before their child is permitted to go in their house--and if the answer is yes, no matter how locked up the guns may be, that house is banned.
Yes, we've had issues with this. My husband carries for work and many neighbors have seen him come home wearing the gun and duty belt. So most of the neighbors on the street know that we have at least one gun in the house, and several of them have told me that their kids can't play at our house because of it.
I won't tell anyone exactly where we store our guns or how they're locked up, which probably doesn't help the situation.
This alone sets you FAR apart from many modern parents who ask if the family has guns before their child is permitted to go in their house--and if the answer is yes, no matter how locked up the guns may be, that house is banned.
This made me laugh because every house on my block has guns. Most of our neighbors are current or ex-military or law enforcement.
I had friends who were more free-range than I was, and I just didn't leave my kids at their house without me when they were little. My personal feeling is that you shouldn't leave small children less attended than you'd leave your purse, so going to the park without an adult or playing unattended on a trampoline (with no net?) would not be something I'd allow. I wouldn't shame the other parent about it, though; I'd just say no to playdates at their house unless it was a visit that included me being there. The kids could play at my house or we could go to a park or something. At the same time, I have had friends who were more helicoptery than I was, and the same thing applied, I guess. Either the moms would be invited to my house along with the children or we'd just meet elsewhere. I didn't stay in the same room as children over the age of about 4, for example... once they had outgrown the mouthing stage, I didn't feel the need to be on top of them constantly while in my mostly childproofed home. Others feel differently, and that's fine.
I don't think it's anything you really have to "handle." The mom with more rules has to make sure she's comfortable with whatever is going on at your house, and if she's not, then it's up to HER to handle it. I think that making some compromises (no trampoline, no swimming without an adult right there, must wear helmets on scooters, whatever) is nice, and if mom still wants more supervision than that, she could suggest alternative places to meet for the kids to play (including her own house).
Yes, we've had issues with this. My husband carries for work and many neighbors have seen him come home wearing the gun and duty belt. So most of the neighbors on the street know that we have at least one gun in the house, and several of them have told me that their kids can't play at our house because of it.
I won't tell anyone exactly where we store our guns or how they're locked up, which probably doesn't help the situation.
If you can truthfully say, "Yes, our guns and ammunition are locked up and completely inaccessible to the children," that should be enough. If it's not, well... nothing much you can do about it.
If you are saying, "I refuse to discuss this," or "don't worry, the kids won't get into it," or "my kids know not to touch them," though, that's another story. I would not send kids to a house with guns if the parents couldn't at least confirm that yes, locks are being used and the kids could not get to them.
If you can truthfully say, "Yes, our guns and ammunition are locked up and completely inaccessible to the children," that should be enough. If it's not, well... nothing much you can do about it.
If you are saying, "I refuse to discuss this," or "don't worry, the kids won't get into it," or "my kids know not to touch them," though, that's another story. I would not send kids to a house with guns if the parents couldn't at least confirm that yes, locks are being used and the kids could not get to them.
Some parents have a "zero tolerance" policy about guns, period. Others might demand to see where the guns are kept so they can confirm that they are locked up. But as you say, there's nothing you can do in some situations. I presume that as much as parents want their kids to have friends, they are probably not going to get rid of their gun (especially if Dad needs it for work!) just so Johnny-down-the-street can set foot in their house.
We had a big dog for many years--okay, he was a pit bull, but he was the sweetest thing ever and all our babies were raised with him--and some people asked that he be put in a different room when their little kids came over. I had no problem with that. I did have a problem, meaning I took offense, when one parent refused to let her child in the house even though the dog was locked in another room, because he "might get out." But again--nothing I could do. Honestly, if she trusted me that little, it's better that her kid not be over at my house.
Yes, indeed. If this situation presented itself, I'd gently but firmly say "this [free range] is how we do it with ANY kids who are present. Period." If they're not OK with that, see ya.
I'm free range myself, yet at the same time if my kids are playing at someone else's house and they're the "hovering" kind, then my child will have to adapt. I'd rather they didn't hover and limit my child's fun, but it's their house.
When in doubt, follow the hosting rules. Accomodating the guest who is visiting. If this means upping the lackadaisical parenting style ,then do it.
My son played with a child who was deaf. Yes they "do" play with hearing children. I had to be able to be attentive more so. I didn't tell the other parent ,well tough on you! I accommodated the parents concern and taught my son that parents can fill different methods .
^ I usually keep a closer eye on the kids when they have a friend over simply because I don't know that kid as well as my own. I may be pretty comfortable with my own kids being alone in the basement, or over at the park, but who knows what the other one might get up to.
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