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Did you kids never get sick? Or did you send them to school even if they were sick? All kids get sick. And I would say, all kids need a "mental health day" once in a while too!
Did you never go on a vacation that was in conflict with their school days? Like a family wedding, a holiday not given off, etc?
If laying at your death bed, would you really find that your kids had "perfect attendance" as a great source of pride and a legacy?
My sister died and had straight As and perfect attendance. It wasnt mentioned in her obituary or her eulogy.
Honestly, not really. Kids were very healthy, knock on wood. They got chicken pox right after school ended, and between the time they were suppose to go to camp. Timing couldn't have been more perfect. They may have gotten a cold once or twice but if so, it probably happened during the weekend. I would have never sent my kids to school sick, in fear of making others sick - I would have given myself a self-inflicted Jewish guilt trip! I don't agree with people sending their kids to school, or people going to work sick with the chance of giving whatever they have to others.
No, we never went away during school. Weddings happen on weekends, so do Bar Mitzvah's, and many other family functions. Did we go on trips, sure, but it was always when school was out. Geez, even the Jewish holidays that we got to take off as kids, they made it a teacher work day as my kids were growing up. It seems the kids are out of school more than they are in these days. So no, I would never had thought to take them out to miss a day of school for a vacation that could wait until there was no school.
I can't disagree with you more that "all kids need a mental health day" once in a while. Let's make excuses for our kids and give them to tools to say they need a "mental health day" once in a while. They can tell their employers that as well. I think that's are what weekends are for, maybe?
No, my source and pride is NOT that my kids had perfect attendance, and it's surely not going to be what I would be thinking of on my death bed. I would be thinking about how fortunate of a parent I was that I had healthy, and happy children who never gave me an ounce of trouble. How wonderful it was that my kids went to college and earned a degree (son has 1 year left of medical school) How my children went to college far, far from home, lived and loved it where they were, and both got jobs right out of college. Think about how both have careers they have made on their own and never have had to ask for any help. I think about how my kids, at their young age have both traveled the world, individually, and all by themselves. I think about the wonderful things my child has done to help community with the documentaries he's filmed, and the people he's met.
But yes, I will think about the perfect attendance and what I know took to get them to school every day, which was me for the most part. I think of, because they had this perfect attendance, their employers know/knew how dependable they are. My child got lead parts in community plays all the time, and was at each and every show. The last day of college she got a call she received a big part in a Broadway play that was going on a US and Canadian tour - she was at each and every show, over 350 of them! I can only imagine her telling the shows team that she couldn't go on one day because she needed a "mental health day!" I'm sure she probably did, being in a tour bus, going from city to city for almost a year, living out of a suit case and not knowing what city you were in next. I think those "mental health days" came as days they had no show but were still traveling on a tour bus (with one toilet, mind you).
Let's just say, my kids went to the Dr. for their Well Visit each year, whether they needed it or not. Their pediatrician gave me his home phone number one time and told me if I ever needed to call him in case of emergency. I told him if it was an emergency enough to call, I'd be calling 911. He knew if I was going to call him at the office, it was important, and he would call me right back.
I told my kids no one is going to remember you had perfect attendance but me, and them. That's all that matters. My kids school was in one of the largest school districts in the nation. My daughters year, they had 16 kids graduate perfect attendance from 1st grade on, with only 13 of those kids from kindergarten on, my daughter being one. Of course, I was proud of their accomplishment of this, but this is so small of an accomplishment from what they have done since then, but I do think it shaped them to what they have become today, and for that, and them, I am proud.
And yes, they do get sick once in a while now, but so far, these independent "children" of mine know how to take care of themselves and what to do to feel and get better. They know better if they are truly sick to stay home and not take the chance to get others sick. They learned this early on.
Never. Cigarettes? Never and never, they certainly were never near my house when I was growing up.
I certainly wasn't drinking alcohol around my parents growing up either.
Agreed! I will never allow cigarettes in my home! Neither my husband nor I have ever smoked so I will not allow it. Not to mention, I have had several relatives have heart attacks that were directly linked to their smoking since young ages. Why would anyone allow their child to smoke?
As for drinking, I do have an occasional cocktail, but I will not allow my child to drink until they are of drinking age. The younger they start the more likely for them to abuse it. Since alcoholism also runs in my family, it's best to stay away.
While I know it may not seem ideal, a lot of kids are allowed by their parents to smoke or drink at their own discression around their parents before the legal age. I was just wondering if you let your kid do it, and at what age.
Wow, I guess we're an old-fashioned middle-class intact family, because our two boys who are now 18 and 21 don't smoke, drink, or use drugs. So it's not a question of "at what age" we would allow it.
Smoking cigarettes - never.
Drinking - probably a drink around 16 on special occasions. Once they are living out of the house (i.e. visiting from college or truly independent), I think I'd let them have whatever is served with dinner.
Smoking marijuana - I think I'd be comfortable once they had a career going, had proven their independence and ability to make good decisions. This could be 22 for some kids and 62 for others.
For people who are saying "never" to either or both, I don't understand. So, if you go to your son's home (let's say he is 25 years old) and he opens up a bottle of wine to have with dinner, then you are saying that you would tell him to put it away?
Or say, you are at an outdoor cookout at his house and he smokes a cigarette while outside, then you would do what?
Eh.... Its not like their parents didn't take care of their kids they just figured the kids are going to do it any way(which was true) so they just let them do it at home instead of sneaking off to do it. It wasn't exactly the best neighborhood either so you are going to get a higher concentration of people that let their kids smoke weed or what ever. Most of the kids from them families have actually turned out pretty well.
I had a brother that was 6 years older than me so I started smoking at 8 cuz then I couldn't tell on my brother(14 yr old logic for ya) started smoking weed and drinking at 10. Got locked up for drinking when is was 16 or so and quit drinking and smoking weed after that. Just didn't like the high anymore. Quit smoking at 26 and started mushrooms at 32. All n all even being allowed to smoke at 15, it didn't perpetuate the problem cuz either way I would have went down the same road.
For people who are saying "never" to either or both, I don't understand. So, if you go to your son's home (let's say he is 25 years old) and he opens up a bottle of wine to have with dinner, then you are saying that you would tell him to put it away? Or say, you are at an outdoor cookout at his house and he smokes a cigarette while outside, then you would do what?
I don't understand the "never would allow".
Good question. To clarify my answer, I took "allow" to mean IN OUR HOME, and I would not even think of trying to control anyone's behavior when they are of legal age outside of our home. (However, I am so anti-smoking, that I would just leave if people were smoking in my presence, and I couldn't avoid the smoke from cigarettes or cigars. Both literally make me nauseous, although I don't have that reaction to pipe tobacco, for whatever reason.)
I see a lot of "my children don't smoke".....well the good thing is that except in a few places like Kentucky where there's still a significant amount of adult smokers too, teens don't really take up smoking anymore, thank goodness.
Never. We don't smoke or drink and our grown children now in their thirties and forties don't either. I think it's best for the parents to be good examples and the children will mostly follow that example.
We don't really drink and we never smoke, and neither did the kiddos. They all started drinking in college to some degree or another. I have been out to a bar with them or whatever since they have turned 21 and they have ordered wine or a cocktail. It's not a big deal.
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