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Old 10-04-2016, 08:43 PM
 
Location: here
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
More common now than it used to be, for several reasons:

Disposable diapers don't feel as uncomfortable when wet as cloth diapers.

Many toddlers are in full-time or part-time daycare. This environment makes it hard to be consistent in focusing on potty training for the couple of weeks it typically takes.

Many parents are uneasy about initiating potty training, either because they think it will be scarily difficult, that it will be useless because their child may not be "ready," or they are afraid of psychologically damaging the child.

ETA: All three of my children were trained between 2 and 2.5. I took the lead. I'm sure if I had waited for them to take the initiative, it would have been much later.
Not true re day care. They help potry train. If anything, it is more consistent than a home environment.
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
So if other parents are willing to "wait until they are ready" it's a worthy of a snarky comment about psychological damage, but if you wait until they are ready at night then it's different.

Just checking to see that you saw the little word "or" in my statement:

Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
Many parents are uneasy about initiating potty training, either because they think it will be scarily difficult, that it will be useless because their child may not be "ready," OR they are afraid of psychologically damaging the child.

Some parents think that attempting to potty train a child who does not seem to be "ready" is simply a useless waste of their time. The issue I have with that is that their definition of "ready" is, in my opinion, unrealistic. I can't count the number of times other parents have told me, "Potty training? I don't have time for that; I will just wait until they tell me they need to 'go'." And to give them credit, they don't seem to mind a bit changing diapers on 4-year-olds.

Other parents, though fewer, think that in the matter of potty training, anything at all which can be construed as "coercion," or even strong encouragement, or for instance a promise of treats or being able to go to school when trained, etc., may lead to deep-seated psychological or even physical problems (for example, a child who is chronically constipated because he responded his parent's requests to use the toilet by stubbornly refusing to go at all).

These are two separate things, and I was not being snarky.
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Denver area
20,928 posts, read 21,572,635 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
Just checking to see that you saw the little word "or" in my statement:




Some parents think that attempting to potty train a child who does not seem to be "ready" is simply a useless waste of their time. The issue I have with that is that their definition of "ready" is, in my opinion, unrealistic. I can't count the number of times other parents have told me, "Potty training? I don't have time for that; I will just wait until they tell me they need to 'go'." And to give them credit, they don't seem to mind a bit changing diapers on 4-year-olds.

Other parents, though fewer, think that in the matter of potty training, anything at all which can be construed as "coercion," or even strong encouragement, or for instance a promise of treats or being able to go to school when trained, etc., may lead to deep-seated psychological or even physical problems (for example, a child who is chronically constipated because he responded his parent's requests to use the toilet by stubbornly refusing to go at all).

These are two separate things, and I was not being snarky.
Why do you need to have an issue at all? That's my point.
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
The long car trip thing is iffy, but it is very, very, very common for toddlers, and preschoolers up to age 6 or so, to need a diaper at night even though they are completely reliable during the daytime. Their bodies have just not matured enough to stay dry while they sleep. It's not fair to say a child is not toilet trained because they wear a diaper or Pull-Up at night.
This.

Especially kids that sleep 10-12 hours straight.
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Why do you need to have an issue at all? That's my point.
Okay, the word "issue" is an exaggeration; I really don't care when or how other people toilet-train their kids, but some of the definitions of "readiness" seem silly to me and way over the top of what the actual readiness signs are. That is just my opinion and it does help explain why kids, as a whole, spend more months and years in diapers than they used to even a few decades ago.

I had someone tell me my 2-year-old wasn't really potty trained because I had to help him pull up his pants and fasten the snap after he used the potty. If he wasn't 100% independent in every way he wasn't ready and I should have waited.

Or a couple of people said they didn't want to be wiping their child's bottom after they used the toilet and if they needed that kind of help, they might as well stay in diapers a while longer.

It's a process, people. They don't have to get every step perfect from the beginning, but that doesn't mean they aren't "ready."
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:41 PM
Status: "The list doesn’t destroy culture; it creates it" (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Denver CO
17,483 posts, read 9,051,964 times
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3 is probably a little older than the average but well within the norm.

My son's very wise preschool teacher had told me that potty training can take 6 months plus 1 week or it can take 1 week, it's the parent's choice which one. I took the lazy way out and waited for him to take the lead, which happened at 3.5. And it didn't take a week, it took a day.
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:43 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
462 posts, read 247,776 times
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My oldest son ( now in his 30's) needed a diaper at night until he was 7. He was a hard sleeper and wet his bed frequently, even after that age. It's not uncommon for boys. His son is now 7, and wears a pull up at night. It's easier now because they do have pull ups and its less obvious...all they had in the 80s were diapers and he was really self conscience, even though we never made a big deal out of it.
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:58 PM
 
Location: Denver area
20,928 posts, read 21,572,635 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
Okay, the word "issue" is an exaggeration; I really don't care when or how other people toilet-train their kids, but some of the definitions of "readiness" seem silly to me and way over the top of what the actual readiness signs are. That is just my opinion and it does help explain why kids, as a whole, spend more months and years in diapers than they used to even a few decades ago.

I had someone tell me my 2-year-old wasn't really potty trained because I had to help him pull up his pants and fasten the snap after he used the potty. If he wasn't 100% independent in every way he wasn't ready and I should have waited.

I agree that helping a child to pull up their pants isn't indicative of *not* being trained. Nor is wearing a diaper at night. But how is that person who was judging you any different that you calling another parent's thoughts on readiness "silly"?

I just really hate the "mom- petition" and judginess that goes with certain milestones. Potty training being one of them.

Stay at home moms and cloth diapers changed and laundered by those moms had a lot to do with the early "training" of prior decades. In reality, it was often the moms who were trained more than the children.

Instead of judging whether or not another parent's training philosophy as silly/baseless/not what you chose (generic "you" not YOU-you) why not just let it go? Who cares? Unless there is some kind of real issue, kids will be potty trained. In the end whether it was at 18 months or 4 years won't matter. You can't go into a 3rd grade classroom or a Fortune 500 boardroom and point out the "late" (or early) potty user.

So do what works for you, your child and your family. Which won't necessarily look like your neighbors situation. Or even your next child.

Last edited by maciesmom; 10-04-2016 at 10:14 PM..
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Old 10-04-2016, 09:59 PM
 
1,178 posts, read 632,965 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
One of my daughters still wore diapers when she was 3. When they need them, they need them, and sometimes you just can't make a child toilet train on your schedule. You have to wait until they're ready.
I think sometimes parents give the child too much leeway, though. I clicked this because I have a cousin who is a lot younger than me. She's like 7-8 now. I was an adult when she was a baby. Her mother stay at home with her and still does. She had no problem using the diaper at 3 years old and it was off putting. I called her mom (her father is my uncle) and told her "You didn't tell me she's not potty trained. I'm not changing the diaper of a kid that's almost as tall as I am". She was very shocked by this. I refused to babysit after that. Through other family members I found out, my cousin wasn't potty trained until the school told her mother she couldn't go into the prek program if she wasn't toilet trained as she wasn't special needs (she was evaluated by the school). I think they got her potty trained in like three months. I think if the mother wasn't lazy she could have been potty trained at 3 or younger. My mom worked and I was potty trained at 2 years old.
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Old 10-04-2016, 10:29 PM
 
240 posts, read 184,472 times
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I also waited until my daughter was "ready". She did have difficultly expressing herself until she was 3 so I waited for her to be able to tell me when she needs to go to the bathroom. Soon as she turned 3, it took 2 days to train her.
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