Under what circumstances would you disinherit a grown child? (girls, grandmother, elementary school)
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I've also heard people say they wouldn't enable a "lazy, deadbeat" adult child.
Well, it's all relative. Many people have called me lazy and deadbeat because I'm a stay at home mother. It would cost as much or more to put 3 kids in daycare than what I could earn every month; that's why I am not working a full time job. But they overlook that important little fact. I've even had people tell me I should work anyway, even if it pays less than what childcare would cost. They also overlook the fact that I do a mountain of volunteer work for my child's school and our church. They said "when are you going to get a job?" and "Isn't it hard getting by on one salary?" and "what do you do all day?" It's sad but stay at home mothers are considered "lazy" by many people, even sometimes their own family members. So would you cut your daughter out of the will because she was a SAHM? I'm just curious what people would do here.
No. SAHM is an honorable profession and harder work than most jobs. And more valuable work to your family than ANY possible profession. Your inheritance should be increased for making this choice.
What about a child who announced they didn't want to be a member of the family anymore and ceased all communication? Some parents don't even know if their estranged child is even alive.
No. SAHM is an honorable profession and harder work than most jobs. And more valuable work to your family than ANY possible profession. Your inheritance should be increased for making this choice.
To tell you the truth, I have never heard a SAHM referred to as "lazy" and/or "deadbeat". Never, and I have raised two kids and been through all the "Mommy Wars". I think tassity22 may be fishing for compliments.
To tell you the truth, I have never heard a SAHM referred to as "lazy" and/or "deadbeat". Never, and I have raised two kids and been through all the "Mommy Wars". I think tassity22 may be fishing for compliments.
I have to agree with you. I'm 64 years old & I have never heard a SAHM described as "lazy" or a "deadbeat".
The worst that I even heard someone describe a SAHM mother was things like "poor career move" or "you will regret it later" or "what will the hospital do without you?", when one of the top female surgeons in my hometown decided to quit her job to be a SAHM.
But, I do know someone whose parents scrimped and budgeted and worked very, very hard to put their daughter though a top engineering school and they were "disappointed" when she quit work after a few years to be a SAHM. They are worried that when the kids are older she won't be able to be able to get a good job and it will effect sending her kids to college and her retirement. But, they never described her as "lazy".
I have to agree with you. I'm 64 years old & I have never heard a SAHM described as "lazy" or a "deadbeat".
The worst that I even heard someone describe a SAHM mother was things like "poor career move" or "you will regret it later" or "what will the hospital do without you?", when one of the top female surgeons in my hometown decided to quit her job to be a SAHM.
But, I do know someone whose parents scrimped and budgeted and worked very, very hard to put their daughter though a top engineering school and they were "disappointed" when she quit work after a few years to be a SAHM. They are worried that when the kids are older she won't be able to be able to get a good job and it will effect sending her kids to college and her retirement. But, they never described her as "lazy".
I'm 67. I have a friend, more your age, who has an MS in physics and did engineering work until she had her kids. When she decided to go back, she took some type of refresher course and did get an engineering job, at a time when the economy wasn't all that great out here in Colorado. It took a while, but that's partly due to being limited to the Denver metro area, and to a certain number of miles from home as well. So tell your friends there's hope.
What about a child who announced they didn't want to be a member of the family anymore and ceased all communication? Some parents don't even know if their estranged child is even alive.
Nope. I still would not disinherit. The prodigal son parable comes to mind. Some kids for some reason need to take the road less traveled. No matter how well one parents, there are some kids who just have to find their own way. It might not be ideal to the parents but it is what it is. My sister who is just 18 months older than me is like this and I am the opposite. Tell me once, and I will learn by the rule. My sister is the type who has to put her hand to the fire.
To tell you the truth, I have never heard a SAHM referred to as "lazy" and/or "deadbeat". Never, and I have raised two kids and been through all the "Mommy Wars". I think tassity22 may be fishing for compliments.
No, but working women who trash and abuse their kids by abandoning them and warehousing them in institutional day care settings while they pursue "careers" and scale Maslow's pyramid often like to assuage their guilt by hating on stay-at-home-moms. Even though the stay-at-home-moms are doing something far more important than they are by raising and teaching the next generation of humanity how to live properly. And how to love properly.
If more people were raised by stay at home moms, we wouldn't be answering questions about disinheritance, because they would almost never come up.
I think we should delete the term "stay-at-home-mom" and replace it with the correct term: "mom". And the women who make incorrect choices on timing the creation of new life should be the ones with the descriptive term: "go-to-work-moms". The lesser activity should receive the qualifying adjectives. The unadorned term "mom" should be reserved only for women who stay at home and raise the next generation, in person and close up and engaged and dispensing love and guidance on a continuous basis - because nothing less will really do. And as proof I submit into evidence Exhibit A: the psychological mess that IS today's typical American adult.
A lot of these people end up being worthy of disinheritance because they never learned to behave properly. And how could they?. Dumped into a mob at birth and basically faced with survival on their own with no tools and no training. That ill-equipped and ill-mannered adults result? Common sense. It couldn't end any other way, unless the victim was an exceptional human able to overcome this horrific and unnecessary and consciously chosen adversity.
Last edited by Marc Paolella; 10-25-2016 at 03:41 PM..
To tell you the truth, I have never heard a SAHM referred to as "lazy" and/or "deadbeat". Never, and I have raised two kids and been through all the "Mommy Wars". I think tassity22 may be fishing for compliments.
And I bet you were a working mom.
If you'd been a SAHM, you would have said so in your post. So you aren't speaking from experience as a stay at home mother. The fact is, that SAHMs do get called lazy all the time. They get called worse than that, actually. They also get asked questions like "what do you do all day?" and "how do you get by on just one income"? and other crap that comes out of peoples mouths. If you don't believe that people don't insult SAHMs, just go online and take a look at what people say about them. Things like "SAHM stands for sitting at home mooching". My own husband's family has hassled him constantly saying that I should get a job and that I'm a gold digger because I stay home with kids. Which is a joke because if I were a gold digger, I certainly wouldn't have married him. I actually supported him with my job while he was in school.
No, but working women who trash and abuse their kids by abandoning them and warehousing them in institutional day care settings while they pursue "careers" and scale Maslow's pyramid often like to assuage their guilt by hating on stay-at-home-moms. Even though the stay-at-home-moms are doing something far more important than they are by raising and teaching the next generation of humanity how to live properly. And how to love properly.
If more people were raised by stay at home moms, we wouldn't be answering questions about disinheritance, because they would almost never come up.
I think we should delete the term "stay-at-home-mom" and replace it with the correct term: "mom". And the women who make incorrect choices on timing the creation of new life should be the ones with the descriptive term: "go-to-work-moms". The lesser activity should receive the qualifying adjectives. The unadorned term "mom" should be reserved only for women who stay at home and raise the next generation, in person and close up and engaged and dispensing love and guidance on a continuous basis - because nothing less will really do. And as proof I submit into evidence Exhibit A: the psychological mess that IS today's typical American adult.
A lot of these people end up being worthy of disinheritance because they never learned to behave properly. And how could they?. Dumped into a mob at birth and basically faced with survival on their own with no tools and no training. That ill-equipped and ill-mannered adults result? Common sense. It couldn't end any other way, unless the victim was an exceptional human able to overcome this horrific and unnecessary and consciously chosen adversity.
Not the topic of this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22
And I bet you were a working mom.
If you'd been a SAHM, you would have said so in your post. So you aren't speaking from experience as a stay at home mother. The fact is, that SAHMs do get called lazy all the time. They get called worse than that, actually. They also get asked questions like "what do you do all day?" and "how do you get by on just one income"? and other crap that comes out of peoples mouths. If you don't believe that people don't insult SAHMs, just go online and take a look at what people say about them. Things like "SAHM stands for sitting at home mooching". My own husband's family has hassled him constantly saying that I should get a job and that I'm a gold digger because I stay home with kids. Which is a joke because if I were a gold digger, I certainly wouldn't have married him. I actually supported him with my job while he was in school.
You lose! When I had my first, I took off a year, and then took a 1 day a week job. With the second, I took off two years, then started working 1/2 day a week. That remained the case for a number of years. 1-2 days a week when they were in mddle/high school. I went back to work full-time (which was 4 days a week at a doctor's office) when the youngest was a senior in high school. In between, I had at least one other hiatus where I didn't work at all for a year or so.
Last edited by Katarina Witt; 10-25-2016 at 04:54 PM..
Why do you make this statement as though it is a fact. I think that most children of parents *when* sitting at the table during a reading of a will would feel differently than you.
Imagine sitting in a lawyer's office with your siblings and they each received an equal share and you got nothing or a lot less. Let's say there was no explanation. You wouldn't feel it was some sort of statement about how your parents felt about you?
We have a trust and a will. All 3 kids will receive an equal share (when they turn 60 years of age) no matter what. If we die when they are young, there are provisions about educational and medical expenses being paid for.
I agree and all 3 of my kids will get an equal share (if they are living) no matter what. We've already made out our will. It doesn't matter what they do or don't do during their lifetime, they are still my children. I am capable of forgiveness.
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