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Old 02-25-2008, 11:34 AM
 
1 posts, read 18,487 times
Reputation: 13

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My 18 year year old quit school and is to lazy to find a job. He stays up until all hours of the night, sleeps half the day, and will not do his chores in a timely fashion. We have given the usual ultimatums, but to no avail. We told him that starting today, things are going to change. No one can come over, no going out, no computer....until he has started showing some motivation, responsibility, and finds a job. Can anyone me help with suggestions or relevant experiences? Any help will be greatly appreciated.

 
Old 02-25-2008, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 6,257,331 times
Reputation: 1446
I actually got the boot when I was 18... I was not working full time and my parents told me that if I was not in school then I need to be working full time...and I choose to just goof off and do nothing...

My dad gave me a time line. If I was not employed full time by such and such date. I was no longer welcome in his home...and don't you know I came home one day to 3 garbage bags of my stuff sitting out on my porch...

So I had to stay with a friend...

Then he told me I had 2 weeks before they took my car (which they were paying for) to find a job..

and I did. I had too...
 
Old 02-25-2008, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 6,486,407 times
Reputation: 1299
Lay it on the line. Get a job, or get out. You're not doing him any favors by letting him mooch off you. My kids were told that once they hit 18 they had choices. They could continue to go to school full time, and continue to enjoy the free room and board at mom's house, or they could find a job and start contributing to the household, or they could move out.

Give him a reasonable timeline, perhaps two weeks in which to find a job. If he can't get one in that amount of time, then he's lazy and needs a swift kick in the ass.
 
Old 02-25-2008, 12:17 PM
b75
 
951 posts, read 2,323,531 times
Reputation: 312
I'd suggest trying to come up with some sort of a deal for him to finish school - whereby he can continue to stay with you for free etc. There are alot of options, even schooling via the internet. Then try to get him to go to community college. If you can succeed at getting him to do this he will thank you later...
 
Old 02-25-2008, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 6,486,407 times
Reputation: 1299
Quote:
Originally Posted by b75 View Post
I'd suggest trying to come up with some sort of a deal for him to finish school - whereby he can continue to stay with you for free etc. There are alot of options, even schooling via the internet. Then try to get him to go to community college. If you can succeed at getting him to do this he will thank you later...
If you do this be sure to stick a clause in the "contract" that states he has to maintain a certain GPA.
 
Old 02-25-2008, 12:20 PM
b75
 
951 posts, read 2,323,531 times
Reputation: 312
I'm basically saying figure out what you can do to get him back to getting a degree. This is imperative above everything else...His future is on the line.
 
Old 02-25-2008, 01:21 PM
 
337 posts, read 1,056,730 times
Reputation: 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtcarpenter View Post
My 18 year year old quit school and is to lazy to find a job. He stays up until all hours of the night, sleeps half the day, and will not do his chores in a timely fashion. We have given the usual ultimatums, but to no avail. We told him that starting today, things are going to change. No one can come over, no going out, no computer....until he has started showing some motivation, responsibility, and finds a job. Can anyone me help with suggestions or relevant experiences? Any help will be greatly appreciated.
Yeah, stop treating him like a child and tell him to move out.

Something tells me you are still doing his laundry for him.
 
Old 02-25-2008, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 136,152 times
Reputation: 326
In our house its school or job.

have neither? time to go.

Its harsh, yes, but its the only way he will learn.
 
Old 02-25-2008, 02:24 PM
 
337 posts, read 1,056,730 times
Reputation: 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommiewrites View Post
In our house its school or job.

have neither? time to go.

Its harsh, yes, but its the only way he will learn.
See? Excellent advice.

Love does not equal enablement.
 
Old 02-25-2008, 02:38 PM
 
Location: bumcrack Nebraska
438 posts, read 1,053,420 times
Reputation: 408
Though I agree with everyone else on here saying he needs to get a job or get out, I immediately thought of something different. Do you think he may be depressed? Not just unmotivated, but clinically depressed? Especially if this came out of nowhere. Just something to think about. But yes, if he's just lazy you have to kick him out. Seriously, he'll thank you for it later.
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