Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
IMO this is a very unfair post. The OP is asking for HELP. She is worried about her child. You have no evidence that she does not spend time with her. Therapy is typically an hour or two a week. Since the OP is not sure what to do and has also experienced a loss of a beloved family member a therapist might help the OP develop strategies to help her daughter.
Couldn't agree more. It's always interesting when a lot of issues on parenting forums somehow become an indictment of working parents.
The only thing that is certain here is that something is going on with this little girl. In my view, she needs a professional like a child psychologist to help diagnose what is going on sooner rather than later and help you resolve it.. Perhaps, you may have to try a few before you find a good fit but pray keep at it. May have something to do with the grief but may also be a coincidence that it all started around the same time.
Yes, great to add as much physical activity and spend as much time as possible as a family but quitting your jobs as some advised isn't going to help anyone except to add more stress to already stressed parents. You alone know your financial situation and am sure you are doing all you can.
The grandparents of a 5 year old were most likely not "old" people...my Mom was 50 when my son was five...and if either was a regular fixture in that child's life a five year old would absolutely be aware...to what extent depends on the child...
50 year olds are old, old OLD! to a 5 year old. Think back.
Couldn't agree more. It's always interesting when a lot of issues on parenting forums somehow become an indictment of working parents.
The only thing that is certain here is that something is going on with this little girl. In my view, she needs a professional like a child psychologist to help diagnose what is going on sooner rather than later and help you resolve it.. Perhaps, you may have to try a few before you find a good fit but pray keep at it. May have something to do with the grief but may also be a coincidence that it all started around the same time.
Yes, great to add as much physical activity and spend as much time as possible as a family but quitting your jobs as some advised isn't going to help anyone except to add more stress to already stressed parents. You alone know your financial situation and am sure you are doing all you can.
I agree as well. I work in a preschool, and have had experience with having a child in my care who was on a family vacation, and on one of those days was taking a walk with her Grandma. The Grandma died of a heart attack while they were on their walk. It's really hard on them, and it looks like mom realizes this and is trying to help her child, and not ignoring it or blowing it off.
IMHO, it is not appropriate to just give a blanket statement like that. Sometimes the death of grandparent will affect a specific 5 year old very little and it may affect a different 5 year old very, very significantly. Also, sometimes serious problems do not show up immediately but may come to the surface months, or even years later.
I personally know a child whose grandparent died when they were six and the child started developing serious emotional issues at age nine. The child psychiatrist, who treated the child, felt that the problems were clearly related to the grandparent's death. Luckily, after seven or eight months of therapy that specific child was fine and did not have any additional problems.
In addition, a lot depends on how close the child is to their grandparent. Obviously, a five year old child who lives with their grandparent, or sees them every day or multiple times a week could have a much different response to the death than a 5 year old grandchild who only sees their grandparent one weekend every year or two.
Also, the type of death may be a factor. If the child has seen the grandparent dying of cancer and getting sicker and sicker over a period of months, or even years, that is a lot different that a grandparent who is loving & happy one day and dies in their sleep or of a stroke or heart attack and is "gone" the very next day.
IMHO, as a preschool/elementary teacher with 30 plus years of experience and as a person with a Master's Degree in Child Development, and as a parent & grandparent, I strongly disagree with your statement "btw, the death of grandparents (or any old person) affects 5 year olds almost zero".
Couldn't agree more. I was 5 when my Great Grandpa died, and we were really close. He used to read to me and sneak my sister and I candy behind my Great Grandma's back. He taught me how to clean a fish, and do jigsaw puzzles. I don't remember much about the funeral, just the viewing, but I was very sad and missed our fun times. I was also close to my Great Grandma. We were all together on a Fourth of July weekend when she died. I ran into the house when my Grandpa called my mom inside to call an ambulance. I saw her lying on the floor, my Grandpa doing CPR. I ran as hard as I could to my Grandpa's neighbor (a close friend), and she called the ambulance. That's pretty hard on a 7 year old! What made it worse was that earlier that day she was going to the store, and asked if I wanted to go. I said no, and so she took my sister. I changed my mind just as they were driving away, so she didn't know I wanted to go. I was so mad at her all day, thinking she just ignored me (now I know that she couldn't possibly have heard me calling to them as she's driving a car away). My sister and I were at the neighbor's house when my mom called and said she had passed. My having been angry with her earlier in the day made it so much worse, because I was never able to tell her I wasn't still mad and that maybe even my being mad and pouting and not talking to her had even caused her to die. It took me several years to move past that. Maybe the OP's daughter is having a similar type thought process.
One of our kids at work lost a sibling (mom was pregnant, abt. 5 months). The 4 year old in question seems to have handled it well, maybe partly just because of her personality/how she handles things or possibly how they dealt with the loss. After the delivery, they had a memorial cast made of his footprints, and had a funeral. They did a balloon release with her as well, several months after the funeral. She sometimes mentions her brother in heaven and that someday, after she lives to be a very old lady, she will see him again. When she told me this, she also said that that will be a very happy day for her, but she still has to be a little kid and grow up before that happens. She then just went off and played with her friends. It was sad and sweet at the same time!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
