Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Stop catering to your snowflake and make an announcement that you will no longer tolerate her bad behavior. You will prepare meals for the family, and if she wishes to eat something different, you will buy the groceries, but you will not cook it. And she must give a detailed list of said groceries so she cannot get on your case about buying the wrong thing. She can eat when she wants, she's practically an adult. Stop treating her like a child.
YES!!!! Since I'm assuming that the rest of the family is not vegan, the daughter is the one who is branching off away from the mainstream dietary choices of her family, and she needs to take ownership of her choice. The OP should not have to cook separate meals at each dinner time. It's up to the daughter to very clearly and specifically tell her mother exactly what ingredients she wants (or, better yet, go to the store with her mom and pick them out herself) and then make her own meals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
Tell her spoiled butt to put on some headphones, this is MY damn car. It's way past time for YOU to be the one in control.
I totally agree. The OP can listen to whatever she wants in her own car. If the daughter doesn't like it, she can wear headphones or ride the bus. Besides, the daughter has all afternoon and all evening to do her homework; she doesn't have to do it in the car. If she's frantically trying to finish her homework on the morning ride to school, that's her problem -- which, 99 times out of 100, can be solved by better time-management skills. (On the blue-moon occasion when the daughter has pulled an all-nighter and still hasn't finished her homework, it would be nice for the OP to shut off the radio on the ride to school. But that's very much the exception, not the rule.)
Don't forget, the way you allow her to behave, is the way she will most likely behave with others. She will tell her college roommate that she isn't allowed to play music in the dorm room. She will throw gifts back in her boyfriend's face. You are responsible for training her for future interactions.
Don't forget, the way you allow her to behave, is the way she will most likely behave with others. She will tell her college roommate that she isn't allowed to play music in the dorm room. She will throw gifts back in her boyfriend's face. You are responsible for training her for future interactions.
The problem is allong with normal teenager moodiness you let your kids have to much control. They know you won't do anything about them being mean to you so why should they change the behavior. The girl I would force to do things with me (play games, help clean, cook ....)untill she told me what the big problem is. The boy needs to be left to do things on his own. Let him go to school one week smelling like BO, you will see how long that lasts. Let him fail at things a bit so he realizes mom isn't gong to run his life for him anymore.
Time to step up your authority. Your being nice to a fault because you dont want to hurt your kids feelings. Respect needs to be enforced.
Yes. My youngest almost 16 and is a complete &$%%#^& and I mean RUDE. She has maintained Interstitial Cystitis but sometimes has a flare and those are the worst times .
She stays on her phone alot and I am finally taking it away except for when she is gone somewhere.
Likes very few people and has no interest and thinks we( husband and I ) are the stupidest people who ever lived. Likes a few of her siblings but only a very few. Has a very hard time making friends ( gee I wonder why )
My husband is more calm than I am about this , we had 6. Ages 33 down to her and you cannot get her to do anything besides beg to buy band merch . She is also vegan like Marlow's daughter, we are semi but stock the freezer with vegan frozen dinners , its just the 3 of us and its easier for all of us that way .
She plays guitar like a young Joan Jett, she is so good but will not use it . We as you all know are a generational horse family - hates them except one. It takes an act of congress to get her to help . In our case she is going back to the psych to get back on her anti depressant ( which also helps the IC - Dr.'s do not know why ) and go back to counseling. I have never seen anyone so sour . Very smart but will not turn in finished work which results in F's all over the place . Recently told me she was too unskilled in math to EVER HAVE A JOB - my a&&.
We MAY have to move due to a job and she is threatening to totally come unhinged if we dare do this .. perhaps she would rather live in tent city after all we do live in Seattle and you can end up there before you know it .
So yes OP some of them are like that ..not all just some .
I am glad she is the last , after this I am crawling under a rock .
Last edited by DutchessCottonPuff; 12-02-2016 at 10:52 AM..
That was more about telling the daughter to stop trying to control everything than it was about the homework. The snowflake can put headphones on or do her homework at home. She's just using it as an excuse to get her way, surely you can see that.
No no no. A snowflake whines about things that are not important, like getting to listen to the radio. Homework is important. Radio is not.
Here's the quote: "Most days when I pick her up from school, she is instantly in a bad mood and I "can't" talk or listen to the radio the entire ride home because she has to focus on her homework."
If the teen were whining that mom should turn the radio to her music in the car, then yes you are correct. Teen is being a snowflake and mom should just ignore her and listen to her own music.
But this is about her homework. Yes, mom should cater to teen's homework needs. That's mom's JOB. Yes, teen is trying to control the situation to suit her own needs, but in this case she is RIGHT to do so. Because her homework takes precedence. Teen is in high school, with hours of homework, any homework not done before they get home means she gets less sleep that night. She's 16, right? Sophomore or Junior? These are arguably the most important homework years in her life.
If your kid were telling you that they were bleeding out in the backseat and you need to take them to the hospital right away, then they are controlling the situation, and they are RIGHT to do so. Taking them to the hospital is more important that anything you are doing at the time. Homework, same way. They control the situation to make it conducive to their homework, because their homework is more important than anything you are doing at the time, UNLESS you are currently driving them to the hospital, of course.
Man, Americans really don't put any priority on schoolwork do they? It boggles my mind that I have to actually explain this lol.
YES!!!! Since I'm assuming that the rest of the family is not vegan, the daughter is the one who is branching off away from the mainstream dietary choices of her family, and she needs to take ownership of her choice. The OP should not have to cook separate meals at each dinner time. It's up to the daughter to very clearly and specifically tell her mother exactly what ingredients she wants (or, better yet, go to the store with her mom and pick them out herself) and then make her own meals.
I totally agree. The OP can listen to whatever she wants in her own car. If the daughter doesn't like it, she can wear headphones or ride the bus. Besides, the daughter has all afternoon and all evening to do her homework; she doesn't have to do it in the car. If she's frantically trying to finish her homework on the morning ride to school, that's her problem -- which, 99 times out of 100, can be solved by better time-management skills. (On the blue-moon occasion when the daughter has pulled an all-nighter and still hasn't finished her homework, it would be nice for the OP to shut off the radio on the ride to school. But that's very much the exception, not the rule.)
Seriously? If my teen has 5 to 7 hours of homework a night (which is what I had at 16, about one hour per class), then I am only supposed to be considerate of her homework time IF and only IF she pulled an all nighter?
You have to be joking. I mean, you must be joking. Right? This is a big joke? April fools? You got me lol?? Right?
Don't forget, the way you allow her to behave, is the way she will most likely behave with others. She will tell her college roommate that she isn't allowed to play music in the dorm room. She will throw gifts back in her boyfriend's face. You are responsible for training her for future interactions.
I roomed with a pre-med student in college. She ABSOLUTELY told me I wasn't allowed to play music in the dorm room while she was studying. And she was right to do so. If I want to listen to music, then *I* put on the headphones, not her.
It's the same way in the office as an adult. No freaking way do I get to listen to music while everyone else in the room is working. I'd be fired in a heartbeat. If I want to listen to music while I work, then I put on headphones.
I roomed with a pre-med student in college. She ABSOLUTELY told me I wasn't allowed to play music in the dorm room while she was studying. And she was right to do so. If I want to listen to music, then *I* put on the headphones, not her.
It's the same way in the office as an adult. No freaking way do I get to listen to music while everyone else in the room is working. I'd be fired in a heartbeat. If I want to listen to music while I work, then I put on headphones.
What is with you people?
I didn't say "while she was studying". I meant she might say they can NEVER play music. There's a difference.
Also, in the OP's case, it wasn't a case of the daughter asking politely. She said she gets in the car in a bad mood. So, my perception is that she gets in the car in a huff and says, "Shut off that music! I'm trying to do homework!".
And there is no defense for her throwing the gift of new clothes back at her mother. I couldn't imagine my teen doing something like that. But you know why? Because my kids know that it would be unacceptable. I treat them with respect and expect the same in return.
The mother here seems to be begging the daughter for her love and acceptance and is creating a monster in the process.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
