"Everybody has a smart phone but me!" (grandpa, engaged, friend)
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So do your 14 year old kids have smart phones? Do teachers really assume all kids have them and use them as part of instruction?
I have a 13 yr old and he will NOT be getting a smart phone any time soon. Most likely he'll get one when he is old enough for a PT job so he can pay for it. In a year or two, at most, he'll probably only get an inexpensive Tracfone type of deal so he can call and text for communication needs.
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If we got them, the rule would be the same as it is for their nexus and laptops---only used downstairs in family room and never upstairs in the bedrooms.
I think that is a very wise rule. I agree. We have a strict screen time policy in our household. Many studies are showing that the blue, LED lighting is not good for the eyes and general health. Not to mention the interwebs, although an amazing tool, is also a very dangerous place.
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I really was hoping we could hold off til they are 16 but maybe that's not realistic. I know it is important to fit in but damn...this could get expensive.
IMO, what's more important: Fitting in and caving to peer pressure or doing what's right for one's family? I can't judge you nor your situation but in general, us parents have to do what's right and pick our battles. As you said, smart phones and plans are not inexpensive.
I guess I'm coming from the "stricter" side of things.
Because she said that for her it WAS cheaper and that she could not afford the more expensive. Not all of us actually want to tether our teenagers to ourselves.
In my day I went wherever I pleased. One time we were missing and the cops were searching for us and the whole town organized a search party A cell phone would have made that much less of a problem.
We couldn't call for help.
I personally needed to know where my kids were, and that they were safe. I don't even get how someone could not want that peace of mind.
There are different parenting styles. A leash is to permit freedom, not to constrict freedom.
Location: Born in L.A. - NYC is Second Home - Rustbelt is Home Base
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Originally Posted by no kudzu
Two 14-year-old sisters, one in 8th grade and one in 9th. Middle school and high school. The other day the 9th grader was let out 45 minutes early from some band practice, she was locked out of school, couldn't find anybody with a phone, ended up waiting outside all that time for Daddy to come at designated time.
OK so she needs a phone. I have a flip phone I rarely use, don't like and am willing to give to her for purpose of calling home, etc. But Nooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's not cool to have a flip phone and she would be mortified for anybody to see her using it! Daughter tells her daddy that teachers all the time say "get out your phone and go to xyz ". Could that possibly be true. I'm sure she is not the only one without a phone.
DH says they both need phones and we can get ones without data plan.
Here's my problem---besides I'm old and grumpy. We are on them all the time about too much screen time and here he is talking about giving them one more screen!
So do your 14 year old kids have smart phones? Do teachers really assume all kids have them and use them as part of instruction?
If we got them, the rule would be the same as it is for their nexus and laptops---only used downstairs in family room and never upstairs in the bedrooms.
I really was hoping we could hold off til they are 16 but maybe that's not realistic. I know it is important to fit in but damn...this could get expensive. DH has company phone, I don't want a smart phone and we are not used to this expense.
I don't have a smart phone either and I'm in my 60's. I got a $75 a year Tracfone from Walmart. No plans for a smart phone unless I hit the lotto.
But, yea OP, pretty much everyone has a smart phone...
Two 14-year-old sisters, one in 8th grade and one in 9th. Middle school and high school. The other day the 9th grader was let out 45 minutes early from some band practice, she was locked out of school, couldn't find anybody with a phone, ended up waiting outside all that time for Daddy to come at designated time.
OK so she needs a phone. I have a flip phone I rarely use, don't like and am willing to give to her for purpose of calling home, etc. But Nooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's not cool to have a flip phone and she would be mortified for anybody to see her using it! Daughter tells her daddy that teachers all the time say "get out your phone and go to xyz ". Could that possibly be true. I'm sure she is not the only one without a phone.
DH says they both need phones and we can get ones without data plan.
Here's my problem---besides I'm old and grumpy. We are on them all the time about too much screen time and here he is talking about giving them one more screen!
So do your 14 year old kids have smart phones? Do teachers really assume all kids have them and use them as part of instruction?
If we got them, the rule would be the same as it is for their nexus and laptops---only used downstairs in family room and never upstairs in the bedrooms.
I really was hoping we could hold off til they are 16 but maybe that's not realistic. I know it is important to fit in but damn...this could get expensive. DH has company phone, I don't want a smart phone and we are not used to this expense.
The school has no right to LOCK children outside on school premises, that is awful, and is not safe. That's your 1st problem (imo).
No but so what? Maybe the child was nonverbal autistic and would only communicate through the iPad, maybe a 100 different things the point is you have no idea about that family based on a single snap shot in time. I know you feel superior but I would bet cash money someone has seen your family at a low point Would you want them to judge you based on that?
What positive attributes does a smartphone add to your life? Does it make you smarter, more caring, more wise, does it give you skills that you can sustain ONCE YOU PUT IT DOWN? Does it make you a better person?
Or do you watch tv, play games, post to FB, take selfies and hide behind it to avoid actual conversation? can you have a conversation that isn;t interrupted by, hey look at this? Or Wait let me look that up?
Smartphones have turned people into zombies. My BIL cannot be without his iPhone. Ever. He spent the entire Thanksgiving weekend staring at it, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, showing me animal pictures. He's 32. He's a 32-year-old zombie. A couple stayed with us a few days, same thing. They. Cannot. Function. Without. It.
Sick sick sick.
Sometimes people do use phones as a way to deal with uncomfortable situations or people they want to avoid. Based on your posts you seem to have a lot of people engaging in these behaviors when they are around you.
So, when people are sitting together, why is every single person on their smartphone? Are they all using them... for what purpose? Why did they bother to get together since they are ignoring each other? What is the point?
What PURPOSE does the smartphone serve for someone who uses it for hours every day?
Zombie robots.
This is not my experience and I have a smart phone. I also teach teenagers, they also still chit chat, giggle and good around, despite mostly having smart phones even when they have free time.
Again maybe you might want to think everyone around you seems to find such interest in their phone, because it is not the norm for most other people
My middle schooler has an iPhone, my old phone. She keeps it off during school. Turns it on when she gets out to let me know she's on her way to the pick up spot. She shares it with my 10 year old, but neither are addicted to it. I see nothing wrong with their having/using a smart phone. I monitor it and know the pass code. *shrug*
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