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Yes I have known one. My friends bother was married with a disabled son. When their son turned 3 the wife just left. She wanted nothing to do with her son. She said his disability was just too much for her to handle. She got pregnant a year later and has yet to see her son. It's been 12 years She was not on drugs or alcohol, just a terrible mom IMO. Can't imagine not seeing my kids everyday!
One of my oldest and dearest friends (we've known each other since we were ten) got involved with this crazy woman and I begged him to reconsider. Of course he didn't listen and married her when she got pregnant. They seemed happy when the second one came along but he soon discovered that she was having an affair. It all went down hill and she was addicted to heroine. He was awarded full custody when the girls were around 8 and 10. The mother rarely saw them until the oldest one wanted to reconnect. Well the mother got her hooked on heroine. His daughter started stealing from anyone and everyone including him to get her fix. She nearly died one night in her bed from an over dose. His life was a nightmare and still is. Those girls are in their 30's and still living off of him. One has never worked. The one addicted to heroine has a job that she has managed to keep for awhile. He's very sick now having had a couple of heart attacks and strokes at only 61. I can't help but wonder if his life would have been better if he had listened to me?
My sister and I babysat for a wealthy man whose wife took off to tour the world with another guy and left her 5 and 3 year old children. The poor 5 year old girl acted so old for her age and I always wonder what happened to her. The mother was an educated professional (attorney I believe) and just abandoned her kids to have fun with her new boyfriend. It may sound like a double standard but I do believe mothers just bond differently with kids than fathers so it's extra shocking when a woman just ups and leaves (unless there is drugs or alcohol involved).
Oh yeah, my Mother abandoned my brother and I when I was 8 and he was 5.
Of course though, my Father was a narcissistic SOB who mentally and verbally abused her and she ran off with a high school sweetheart to the other side of the country to get away from him.
I really never did blame her for escaping.
I just wished that she had taken my brother and I with her.
Oh yeah, my Mother abandoned my brother and I when I was 8 and he was 5.
Of course though, my Father was a narcissistic SOB who mentally and verbally abused her and she ran off with a high school sweetheart to the other side of the country to get away from him.
I really never did blame her for escaping.
I just wished that she had taken my brother and I with her.
This.
Plus-
Lets just say sometimes the SOBs fight tooth and nail (and run down the familiy's finances on legal fees) and get to keep custody- especially when Mom has been out of town for years working to provide for the family.
While the SOB isn't working.
My sister and I babysat for a wealthy man whose wife took off to tour the world with another guy and left her 5 and 3 year old children. The poor 5 year old girl acted so old for her age and I always wonder what happened to her. The mother was an educated professional (attorney I believe) and just abandoned her kids to have fun with her new boyfriend. It may sound like a double standard but I do believe mothers just bond differently with kids than fathers so it's extra shocking when a woman just ups and leaves (unless there is drugs or alcohol involved).
You don't know if mom wanted those kids. Wealthy man means good lawyers- I personally know of someone who has fought for custody for THREE years - husband is wealthy- and so far legal fees top $100,000. And she barely gets visitation.
It really is a double standard.
Women have come too far to put up with the abuse from these husbands. There are all sorts of ways to manipulate women, especially if they are out working,
the kids become an easy pawn-
Family court judges DO NOT LIKE TO MOVE KIDS from their home.
I know a few who left their families for a variety of reasons*to find themselves*, *to focus on my career*, etc.
I know mothers whose kids couldn't get along with a new spouse and the mother chose the spouse over the kidsd.
I know mothers up choose to stay in deplorable and abusive situations with their children because they don't want to get divorced.
I think that we don't know The whole story even if we think we do. I'm not talking about drug or alcohol abuse. But the situations where *we* see a mother (or father) who *walk away* for *no apparent reason*, sometimes the other parent is very controlling and abusive and abused the court and social services systems to the point where the alienated parent really*cannot* be in contact with their children.
This. Divorce is just awful all the way around.
The court system really isn't about justice or fairness.
I think dead beat refers to the parents who don't contribute in any way but keep in sporadic contact (enough to distress the child not a true attempt at keeping in contact).
Last edited by CAjerseychick; 01-05-2017 at 02:18 PM..
Reason: more info
You don't know if mom wanted those kids. Wealthy man means good lawyers- I personally know of someone who has fought for custody for THREE years - husband is wealthy- and so far legal fees top $100,000. And she barely gets visitation.
It really is a double standard.
Women have come too far to put up with the abuse from these husbands. There are all sorts of ways to manipulate women, especially if they are out working,
the kids become an easy pawn-
Family court judges DO NOT LIKE TO MOVE KIDS from their home.
Lets just say sometimes the SOBs fight tooth and nail (and run down the familiy's finances on legal fees) and get to keep custody- especially when Mom has been out of town for years working to provide for the family.
While the SOB isn't working.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick
You don't know if mom wanted those kids. Wealthy man means good lawyers- I personally know of someone who has fought for custody for THREE years - husband is wealthy- and so far legal fees top $100,000. And she barely gets visitation.
It really is a double standard.
Women have come too far to put up with the abuse from these husbands. There are all sorts of ways to manipulate women, especially if they are out working,
the kids become an easy pawn-
Family court judges DO NOT LIKE TO MOVE KIDS from their home.
you guys should check out this documentary
(its informative, and true)
Why is it bad for men to fight for custody of their children? There is a trend towards shared 50/50 custody in some states though. Maybe that trend will grow and fewer parents from either gender will have to fight to see their own kids.
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She was not on drugs or alcohol, just a terrible mom IMO. Can't imagine not seeing my kids everyday!
