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Old 01-05-2017, 09:19 PM
 
Location: a uniquely shaped state
871 posts, read 842,407 times
Reputation: 1896

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I really don't think a functional 18-year-old would steal $1,200 from her father to go see a boyfriend. I can't even begin to comprehend that. I have friends from all different walks of life, and I don't think that would happen in a normal, healthy situation. Something here is broken.
Yeah there's a difference between "Mom, I'm going to Cathy's house to stay over" and then going to see the bf instead (which is still lying but I bet something a lot of teenagers have done in the past...I will admit to pretending to go to a friend's house but going to see a bf instead as a teen) vs stealing $1200 to go abroad to visit a bf that she's probably never actually met (unless someone can post an article stating he was an American bf who happens to live in Germany now).

Both things require discipline but a different level...getting caught sneaking out to someone's house to me isn't abnormal if we're all being honest...still worthy of punishment, but not criminal....whereas fraudulent credit card charges...that's serious.
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Old 01-05-2017, 09:27 PM
 
9,800 posts, read 6,020,837 times
Reputation: 17432
I would not ruin my child's life over $400. The girl probably figured her dad would find out after the fact, and she would just have to pay him back. Most 18 year olds don't think the decisions they make will affect the rest of their life. So unless they did something to cause harm to others, I would keep the matter in the family.
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Old 01-05-2017, 09:53 PM
 
217 posts, read 111,576 times
Reputation: 196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
She is 18. You would restrict an 18 year olds internet access?
You're darn right I would! My house, my rules. I'm footing the bills for the cable/internet service; not my daughter. A typical 18-year old is still a child in my book, especially nowadays, regardless of the government's opinion on that.
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Old 01-05-2017, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,308 posts, read 9,667,817 times
Reputation: 20420
Quote:
Originally Posted by BluegrassGuy View Post
You're darn right I would! My house, my rules. I'm footing the bills for the cable/internet service; not my daughter. A typical 18-year old is still a child in my book, especially nowadays, regardless of the government's opinion on that.
Good luck with that! You do know the internet is readily available outside your house, right? Not to mention how simple it is to hide your tracks.
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Old 01-05-2017, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, not Paris. #MAGA.
8,945 posts, read 4,828,926 times
Reputation: 8869
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I wouldn't want my 18 year old to have a felony. But it really depended on how things were going for this kid already. It could have been the last straw...and being 18, the parents have little recourse to teach her from this. But in general, I don't believe in the concept of being "scared straight"...so many factors would be involved.

I had a teen foster daughter who slapped me across the face once. It didn't occur to me to call the police at that moment. She went out for a long walk to cool down and when she came back, I told her she had one free-bie because next time I would call the cops and ask for her to be charged. It didn't happen again.

I also caught her smoking pot, as well as one of my step sons. I took the pot and flushed it, but I had no desire to call the police on them
I agree. If this was the culmination of a long line of foolish/reckless/illegal behavior by my child, I'd seriously consider pressing charges as that might be the only thing to set the child straight (or at the very least keep the child from being on the streets/being a menace to society).
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Old 01-06-2017, 07:16 AM
 
608 posts, read 665,285 times
Reputation: 1031
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Hell yes I'd file charges, have her ass thrown in jail for a couple days with no bailing her out.

Then have an attorney go visit her and if she signs an agreement to pay back the money within 6 months, she can come home and I will drop charges.

Then I would ride her sorry butt until she gets a job and pays it back.

I would NOT let this slide, that's not $100 measly bucks.
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Old 01-06-2017, 07:45 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
7,827 posts, read 3,348,908 times
Reputation: 16402
Like some posters have said it would depend on whether this was a first time thing or whether this was just another incident in a long line of incidences. If it was the latter I would file charges. My 28 year old son took my car without my permission to drive his friend to Sarasota for a court hearing. He had no driver's license. He claimed he didn't ask me because I was sleeping and they left at 6 a.m.


When I found out I was furious and told him if he didn't get my car back before dark I was calling the police and reporting the car stolen. I then kicked him out of the house as this was not the first time he pulled crap like this.


Sometimes tough love is the way to go if nothing else works. Kids need to know there are consequences for their bad behavior and that mommy and daddy aren't always going to bail them out.
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Old 01-06-2017, 07:46 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
6,645 posts, read 3,990,056 times
Reputation: 8584
Quote:
Originally Posted by the dissenter View Post
i agree with you. If the criminal justice system was actually set up to rehabilitate people and people didn't view a police record of any kind as the spawn of satan, my answer would be different. But getting the police involved would just make it that much harder to get back on track and should only be used as a last resort.
+1.
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Old 01-06-2017, 08:02 AM
 
608 posts, read 665,285 times
Reputation: 1031
Nope. That will just blight her future & you're going to be stuck dealing with a delinquent. However, there 's little the parents can do if the DA or Bank decides to charge her.

At 18 she should know better. Either something else is going on or that little miscreant was allowed to go through life without any structure and discipline.

If that was my child, I'd buy her a plane ticket for sure and send her to be with my family back home so that they can put her through the paces. By the time I'm through with her ***, she'd wish she was in jail.
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Old 01-06-2017, 08:39 AM
 
2,105 posts, read 1,059,707 times
Reputation: 4137
As others have said, it really depends on whether this was the last straw of a multitude of bad decisions.

Without knowing more, I'd say no, I wouldn't press charges. If it was a misdemeanor, I'd let her go through the courts so she can see just what she'd gotten herself into. But a felony...

Having a felony conviction is a horrible thing to have. For every job you apply for, school you want to be admitted to... even applying for life insurance... they all ask if you've been convicted of a felony. If the answer is yes, then those doors are closed to you. It's hard enough for millennials to find a job today. With a felony conviction it would be impossible to get a good job when an employer has a choice between someone with a felony and someone without one.

I believe in "tough love" but there's really no coming back from a felony conviction. It will damage your life far beyond what should be reasonable consequences IMO.
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