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I don't believe that for a second, it's an excuse people make to encourage teens misbehavior. Teens *think* they should have no interests. If teens have zero interest in doing anything, it means they ARE lazy. Everyone is interested in something. As a parent, it is your respnsibility to ensure that they do not fall prey to this type of destructive thinking.
I'm noticing a common thread running through the parenting posts: All parents being held *hostage* by kids. So: Be A Parent.
You don't have to believe it, but it doesn't mean you're right. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Fear-mongering ("fall prey to this destructive thinking") is not Being.A.Parent either. Unfortunately I know TONS of parents who are so full of anxiety and fear about their kids growing up in "this world," and they too can spout off study after study to "prove" we are all going to hell in a handbasket. They are the ones missing out.
Oh this is such a sensitive subject in our family...my sil and bil ...a little less then ten years ago had two sons the exact same age as the op's and allowed them to do the bare minimum at school,play video games and have no part time job...my in-laws asked both my husband and I for advice and then never took it...we were dismissed because our kids "hit the genetic lottery" in their opinion and were brighter then their two boys so it was easy for us...well fast forward to today...the older son took 6 years to get his B.A. has never held a job for longer then two months...the younger dropped out of community college and now works on and off...both live at home (23&26)...drugs,car accidents and minor run ins with the law are the cherries on the top...sadly the more my children achieved and the less my in-laws boys did resentment grew towards my family...we no longer speak and our kids once close (my son had one cousin in his wedding) do not see each other...so to the op you must take the reins now ...you have been given great advice by many...remember nothing changes if nothing changes...
I have two teenage sons, 14 and 16. I am pulling my hair out over their laziness. Let me clarify, their lack of enthusiasm for anything basically. They were involved in one sport each (they quit) and are in a couple of AP classes (but due to lack of effort, wont take AP Exam or get AP credit) and are doing minimal work for the other classes. They will do their household chores, but just really want to sit around on a video game (with friends online). Though that time is limited or has conditions, their free time is basically sitting around. Not going out, not on talking on the phones, not asking to do anything. Their mom and I try to get them to join us in bike riding, or mall walking ( for example...for which they always got a treat of some kind), but they just lack enthusiasm. I call they lazy. Rant over.
Question: Is this in the typical teenage scope?
I'd call it the consequences of typically INADEQUATE PARENTING! They are "lazy" do to hidden or repressed ANGER - most likely at their parents so this is their unique style of REBELLION! They may not even consciously know why they are reacting this way to your parenting methods.
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Any ideas how to motivate these guys?
Get into family counseling to discover where, how and why YOU WENT WRONG and then figure out how to CORRECT your parenting mistakes and HELP your kids.
If your kids do not LOVE & RESPECT (or fear) you, do to YOUR very inadequate parenting, they will RESIST you any way they can such as being: lazy, shy, quiet, moody, hiding out, going behind your menacing or disappointing backs all because YOU have failed to keep alive any love and respect that was ever there and so, when your kids reach their teens, they now have the POWER to resist, rebel and challenge you all because they no longer love nor respect you. If they fear you, as we were trained to, their resistance and rebellions can become very dangerous BEHIND YOUR IGNORANT BACKS!
We could have been very loyal, loving and respectful kids IF ONLY OUR STUPID PARENT had made it possible! So, whine on and on about your "typical teenagers" if you aren't big enough or smart enough to see that YOU have made them that way with YOUR foolish parenting!
seems fairly normal...
My 16 year old is not motivated to get up and go anywhere and do much but when i give him a chore.. mow the grass, pressure wash the deck, etc.. he does it.. no questions.. I took him to the pizza shop today and he applied for a job. i had to push him to do this but he did it.. Every kid is different... i don't rake him like his mom does.. but i do demand he does what i ask and he does.. so i'm good!
They are lazy and addicted to video games. Be the parent and institute some rules. If they can't find a job, have them volunteer somewhere. In my area, the local food bank is always looking for volunteers. or tutor kids. or something. They may hate you now but thank you later.
Wow glad I'm not the opening poster. Replies ranged from "this is how a lot of teenagers are" (I share this opinion) to a lecture on just how bad the OP is doing as a parent.
My oldest two LOVED working part-time and not having to ask us for spending money. It really does become motivating for them. My youngest can't wait till he is old enough to work LOL.
LOL, yes, working away from home got me away from those I did NOT like - my parents - so I just LOVED anything that would allow me to be away from them whenever possible. They, not me, set up all the unhappy conditions for my "attitude" about then but, just like most of the parents here, would have never noticed their parenting blunders and mistakes which inspired me to get the hell away from them whenever I could.
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Sometimes you don't know what will motivate your kid until they try something that they enjoy enough to become self-motivated.
LOL and get AWAY FROM their judgmental/hurtful parents!
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I know what DOESN'T motivate most teens: dismissing their interests and calling them lazy.
Most of this is typical teenage apathy. Fortunately they do grow out of it.
And calling it "typical teenage APATHY" instead of what it really is = BAD PARENTING also does not "help" anyone including those parents with their heads stuck in the sands of Denial about their own parenting FAILURES! Those who do "grow out of it" eventually come to see just how foolish and wrong their parents were and use that as an example of how to become BETTER than their inadequate parents so even bad examples and role modeling can HELP some kids.
Boys need to be raise with LOVE & SELF RESPECT so that they can and will respect them selves and others when they are "men". Unfortunately, many parents CANNOT do that since the parents have little or no self respect to model for their kids who are then conditioned to be come "typical" teenagers. Mentally healthy, self respecting parents DO NOT produce "typical" teenagers - they produce mentally healthy teenagers who become mentally healthy MEN!
The question is = where are there any mentally healthy parents???
Do the parents KNOW HOW to help them with any of those interesting things that you've mentioned below?
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Once they find some they will be motivated to pursue them (usually meaning part time jobs to fund them) & have self confidence to live life with. Introducing them to some life long sports, interests, hobbies will get them started. It depends where you live and what your finances are, but here are some ideas.
Do they know how to?.... ski, water ski, fly a small plane or glider, skydive, ride horses, ride motorcycles, drive cars, fix cars, fix bikes, swim, golf, play tennis, climb rock walls, rappel, play music--guitar, drums, horns, keyboard, build things of some kind--wood, metal, plastics, models, or robotics, how about learn computer languages or video game development, build computers, speak foreign languages, remodel the house projects, grow things, train dogs, do any of traditional arts--paint oils, watercolor, draw, pottery, metal arts, jewelry making, goldsmithing, photography...or studying natural history of old civilizations or animals at dig sites---archeology or anthropology.
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Parenting causes teen behaviors
