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We've had many discussions about what he would have pursued if it were up to him, history and film studies are his top choices. You know, those useless majors. I say, as long as you're aware of the standard of living for the average individual in that profession, go for it. If your debt is manageable and you live within your means, I don't see the issue. Make it work. Live in a tiny house, become a minimalist if that suits you, etc., but if it's something you want to pursue, think it over long and hard, research your options, and go for it.
That is true but we hear a lot of people who went to a private school for a "useless" major and graduated with more than 100K in debt and no job prospects. That to me is irresponsible. I would say that anyone who goes into these fields whose parents can not mostly pay for private school should stick with a public college.
And it is all well and good if you want to live minimalist life. But if you want family and kids, this life style might be a lot harder to pull off in America.
There is another discussion on the work board about H1-B visas taking over many STEM jobs. It is a fact and reality. So even if my child chooses a STEM field to major in, he/she may not have a job after college. Especially if the H1-B visa program is expanded. I do find certain college majors to be, for the most part, a total waste. But there is a risk no matter what major is ultimately chosen.
Only read part of this thread, but to me the answer is not complicated if the kid (talking about teenagers here) wants a high-risk or hard-to-make-a-living-in profession:
1) Support him or her by talking early, often, and non-judgmentally about the PLAN they'll need to make it on Broadway, in the NBA, as a blown glass artist, with a degree in Bulgarian women's studies...or whatever. People make those plans all the time if a kid wants to be a nurse or an engineer or a lawyer or a fireman. The career paths are not at all neatly established for the high-risk stuff, but all that means is that it is our job as parents to work with the child to develop as feasible and realistic a path as possible, which should also include a discussion of the limits of your assistance. (Finances may or may not be a part of this, depending on the family.) But a dream without a plan to achieve it is just pi**ing into the wind.
2) Discuss what the fallback position is if the dream doesn't work out, what you will or won't do to help in case it doesn't, and stick to what you've said. Make sure the young person knows what the deal is on your part and that you mean business.
3) After No .1 and No. 2 back off and let him have a go at it.
One of ours is in his 20s, is trying to make it in an arts field, and he might yet do so. Some very respected professionals in that field are quite impressed with his talent. But of course there are no guarantees. But our family has the ground rules down and so we're 100% behind his efforts. At the same time, he has a good idea what he wants to do if he doesn't make it, and he doesn't plan to end up at 40 living with a cat in a rented room and surviving on sardines and black coffee.
Last edited by citylove101; 01-26-2017 at 05:12 PM..
I think what a lot of people miss in this conversation is that if your child loves something enough to want a career in it, they don't necessarily have to do the thing thing that's the most difficult in that career to realize.
For example, odds are that your child is not going to be the next star quarterback for the NFL, but there's a good chance if they have the aptitude that they can go into sports medicine and treat the next star quarterback or one of his fellows - or a good college team. Something that keeps them close to what they love.
Many industries built around arts, entertainment and sports have very good careers on the field that allow you to work in doing something in the field you are passionate about even if you don't attain star billing. It's not always necessary to write off the field all together. And I wouldn't, unless you want to risk serious damage to your relationship with the child that is very very serious about pursuing such a career.
This is a very good point. Your title doesn't have to be "artist" to have a career related to art. You don't have to be a singer/band member/performer/etc. to work in a job that incorporates music. If you have a passion for sports, there's a whole slew of careers that allow you to work in that industry (coaching, athletic training/physical therapy, working in PR/communications/marketing/accounting/etc. for a sports franchise, and so on) without actually playing the sport. There are plenty of ways to incorporate one's passion while still having a more stable income/worklife and job prospects.
I work in advertising. My boss (creative director) has a BFA in theater and her work certainly incorporates her passion for theater...but she's not an actress. I love to write - I majored in English in college - and have a very stable career that allows me to do what I'm passionate about every day without the low pay/volatility of being a writer or a journalist.
That is true but we hear a lot of people who went to a private school for a "useless" major and graduated with more than 100K in debt and no job prospects. That to me is irresponsible. I would say that anyone who goes into these fields whose parents can not mostly pay for private school should stick with a public college.
And it is all well and good if you want to live minimalist life. But if you want family and kids, this life style might be a lot harder to pull off in America.
We live a minimalist life with kids, and it works great for us. Again, each individual and family should figure out for themselves what their life goals, standard of living and expectations are. There are ways to figure out one's work/life balance and how that fits into their long term goals.
In the end, it's their debt and their life. Are you complaining about useless $500k mortgages that folks take on, or useless $50k car leases or loans with their $500-700/mo payments. If it isn't you footing the bill, why bother giving a damn? We have and will continue our many talks with our kids about life goals, career outlooks, work/life balance, standard of living, job market, finances, etc.
I don't know about you, but I have folks in my social circle with humanities degrees teaching, working in higher-ed, research, non-profit sector, and making a living for themselves. It may not be up to your or other people's standards, but it works for them. They don't pursue these fields for the salaries. I know I didn't. There's also an unfortunate myth that humanities and social science majors aren't useful outside their respective fields. That isn't true at all. The skills are transferable to other fields. The whole starving college-educated barista who can't get a "real" job is oft-perpetuated myth that has been addressed many times in recent years. It isn't as widespread as people think.
Last edited by Metaphysique; 01-26-2017 at 05:57 PM..
The first post talked about supporting their interests. We now have veered into supporting a particular college major. College majors have a lot of use outside of their subject matter. For example, a degree in art qualifies you for a lot of jobs that require a college degree but are not specific to which one.
But if a 17 year old is interested in nature photography as a career, I'm not sure the parents should support that. Nature photography is not a field that will be easy to sustain itself. Suggesting that they might consider doing something similar (creative design with an ad company) that uses their artistic skill might be very reasonable.
Similarily, we are making the assumption that the 17 year old actually has skills in the field they are interested in. One of my high school classmates wanted to be a teacher. She spent 5 years in college studying how to be a teacher and then 5 years trying to work as a teacher, and then she figured out she wasn't very good at it and found a different occupation. I suppose as parents we have to support our kids, but it is reasonable for parents to help steer children in a direction that they might have skills, assuming they are interested.
How do we as a society end up with books to read? Movies and television shows to watch? Art to hang on our walls? Fashionable clothes to wear? Museums to visit? Endless sporting events? Concerts?
Obviously some people are able to succeed by pursuing their interests and talents.
Hopefully parents can support their children, help them plan well, and explain the importance of a plan B.
There is "my favorite thing to do in the world", and there is "my favorite thing to do that I can also make enough money at to support my family". The second becomes your career, and the first becomes your hobby that you do in your free time from your career.
Every once in a while, someone is lucky enough that the two things are the same. Those are the folks telling everyone else to just "follow their dreams", because it worked out fine for them. The rest of us have to be a little more picky.
Interesting perspective. Thanks for posting that. I am lucky enough to get paid to do what would be my hobby. I like your "1" then "2" advice.
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This is a very age dependent question that as others have alluded too doesn't have to be all or nothing!
What child or even tween doesn't love art, music, or video something anyway? Almost all of them do, but are they good? The honest answer is very few people have enough artistic talent to actually make a living.
I have teens and young adult kids all dabbled, all wished they could draw, sing, play instruments, all were in art, violin, drums (one), guitar (one), but that natural ability is what separates the taught vs the gifted.
What alot of parents need to understand is most people are NOT GOOD at anything most of us are just average and average is good enough to do almost anything with hard work.
Almost any profession can be had with a IQ of 120 it just requires hard work and effort. Drive and ambition make up for almost anything.
As far as your child/children they will find their way I cannot say you will always be pleased with their choices though. As a parent we give them opportunity, experiences, and options and hope they blossom into everything we think they can be.
If my 35 year old son tells me he's about to switch to a low paying career I might ask some pointed questions, but then I'd shut up and try to be supportive so I can keep seeing my grandkids. He'd be a grown ass man, I wouldn't expect to be able to tell him a thing. lol
EXACTLY!!! Note my emphasis. I have daughters, not sons, but it's the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
That is true but we hear a lot of people who went to a private school for a "useless" major and graduated with more than 100K in debt and no job prospects. That to me is irresponsible. I would say that anyone who goes into these fields whose parents can not mostly pay for private school should stick with a public college.
And it is all well and good if you want to live minimalist life. But if you want family and kids, this life style might be a lot harder to pull off in America.
That's the "urban legend". I don't think it's as common as you hear/see on these boards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
I think what a lot of people miss in this conversation is that if your child loves something enough to want a career in it, they don't necessarily have to do the thing thing that's the most difficult in that career to realize.
For example, odds are that your child is not going to be the next star quarterback for the NFL, but there's a good chance if they have the aptitude that they can go into sports medicine and treat the next star quarterback or one of his fellows - or a good college team. Something that keeps them close to what they love.
Many industries built around arts, entertainment and sports have very good careers on the field that allow you to work in doing something in the field you are passionate about even if you don't attain star billing. It's not always necessary to write off the field all together. And I wouldn't, unless you want to risk serious damage to your relationship with the child that is very very serious about pursuing such a career.
I get what you're saying, but that example is just not accurate. Granted, there are more doctors than NFL quarterbacks, or even players, but it is not easy to get into med school, either. Maybe you meant athletic training?
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