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If I had a crystal-ball & could see the future I might say something like:
"She sees you as "Daddy" material & you will get her pregnant within the next few months. She will quit work to go on Maternity leave & you will be responsible for 3 more mouths to feed. Your relationship with your daughter may become strained if she starts to resent your "new" family."
But I don't have a crystal-ball so maybe I'm wrong.
Wake-up call- children do not disappear when they turn 18. So I will correct your statement for you "her son is going to be a very important part of her life for the rest of her life and his life."
Another point: he isn't able to choose whether or not to have you in his life, but you have the choice whether or not to be in his. Is it right to stay with his mom, when you really don't want to deal with him?
I say cut her loose and let her find someone who actually likes her son, not simply tolerates him.
(spoken by someone who grew up with crappy step-parents)
OP, given your second post where you confirmed that you really have NO interest in a long term commitment involving this young boy I totally agree with the above poster.
My son had a step father like that....Absolutely ignored my son.....it cause some horrible guilt on my part and eventually a divorce.
I wish that I'd been smarter earlier. This young mom is likely doing the best that she can trying to spend time with her child when we isn't working.
You my friend are doing her and this child a great disservice by apparently going along with her letting you become enmeshed in her parenting time. Leading her to believe that you really have an interest in her and her child, but secretly resenting him is just wrong....because they are a package deal.
Single Mom's don't date, they have relationships. Do the right thing....You can find a booty call somewhere else.
NO child deserves to get stuck with someone who thinks he's a bother. Kids are innocent. They don't ask to get stuck with Mom's boyfriend or Dad's girlfriend. They deserve someone who thinks they are the most wonderful person on the planet. If Mom is already passing him off to the 2-month boyfriend..... sigh. Poor kid.
I'd end the relationship now if I were you. I'm in my 40's and would not want to have to deal with some else's toddler. Many people have bratty kids. The kid isn't yours so you have zero say in discipline. If the kid runs amuck now, things will not get better as the child grows up. Run while you can!
This is terrible, you are going to punish and tune out the kid becasue of the actions of his mother, truly hope you are not a parent/grandparent.
The real punishment began the day he popped out of her womb. No dad with a single mom = lousy start in life. The effects often last a lifetime, too. 40% of kids in America are born out of wedlock. No wonder the middle class is shrinking.
The real punishment began the day he popped out of her womb. No dad with a single mom = lousy start in life. The effects often last a lifetime, too. 40% of kids in America are born out of wedlock. No wonder the middle class is shrinking.
Nothing in the OP's post indicated that the woman was unmarried when she had her son. People have kids and then divorce sometimes.
How is a playpen punishment? Would you rather he wander around the house, and you want the boyfriend to focus on him every second of every minute of every hour? Children can't be involved with adults every minute of every day. Sometimes they have to be able to play on their own. By your theory, playpens are instruments of child abuse. Why then are they legal?
We tend to tolerate our kid better than other's kid because we love our kid unconditionally. With that said, boy will be more active than girl at that age, and at 2 1/2 years old, it's hard to handle. She shouldn't let you meet her kid that soon nor asked you to babysit her boy for the whole day like that. It's her sole responsibility to care for her son. You already disagreed with her parenting style, so it won't go well. Cut your loss and move on. Knowing that you may not tolerate young kids well, next time date a mom with older kid like in late teens or adult.
Nothing in the OP's post indicated that the woman was unmarried when she had her son. People have kids and then divorce sometimes.
This. I'm the child of divorced parents and I don't think I was at a disadvantage in life. Maybe it was because I had a real man as a father who did right by my mother and a mother who put my needs and well being over all else. She will forever have my admiration because of that sacrifice. I feel sorry for this kid because he has a mother who isn't making the best of decisions
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